Title: When In Rome
Summary: Harry and Ron visit a bathhouse, and much humor and silliness ensues. Rated for exposure.
Rating: M
Genre: Humour/ Utter Silliness?
A/N: This was inspired by a picture of nude!Harry in a bathhouse and an IM conversation with my beloved Starbo Draco (she's on here too. Check her out). I wrote the first half, she got the great ending. Please don't take this Sirius-ly, we're both not in our right minds. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I OWN NOTHING.
Ron heaved a great sigh, breathing in and out the soft, steamy air of the bathhouse. He, Harry, Hermione and Ginny had found an old-style Japanese bathhouse in London, and decided that a hot soak was just what they needed to relax. Making sure his old swimming shorts were going to stay on—he really needed a new pair, the elastic in these was almost gone—he slid open the little paper door that led out to the springs…
…and promptly tripped into a bucket, because his eyes were currently focused on something else.
Harry's tight, little, bare-naked bum.
"Why are you naked?" he burst out. Harry looked up, startled, but relaxed when he saw it was just Ron.
"Hey, 'when in Rome'…"
"We're not in Rome!"
Harry shrugged. "Does it matter?"
Ron twitched. He scuffed a foot on the ground. He picked his nails. He did everything a body can do to avoid answering an unanswerable and somewhat embarrassing question. Finally, he gave up, and yanked his trunks to the ground, kicking them in the general direction of the benches.
Raising an eyebrow, Harry said mischievously, "Hey, did I mention the girls are naked too? This is a co-ed pool."
The Weasley boy blushed as he thought of Hermione. Heat spread through his cheeks and ears, and continued.
"You coming, Ron?" Harry was already seated in the hot spring.
Ron didn't hear him. He was envisioning Hermione's slender hips and torso, clothed only in the wafts of steam floated around the pools…
Harry spoke again, this time sounding almost amused. "…I didn't know balls could blush."
"No, that's his hair," Ginny smirked, having come out with Hermione a moment before, and slid down in the water next to Harry. "He is, after all, a natural red head."
Harry turned around to face Ginny, slightly disappointed that he didn't get to see more through the steam and water. "Are you?"
"Well, I would say, 'Why don't you find out,' but my brother is going to snap out of his trance in three – two – one."
"DON'T YOU DARE CORRUPT MY YOUNG SISTER!" Ron screamed at the top of his lungs.
He leapt for Harry, who was thankful that the hot water slowed Ron's pounce. Harry jumped out of the pool, displaying his manhood for Ginny. Ginny gave a shout of encouragement for Harry (he flashed her an award-winning grin) and Ron screamed in fury.
Out in the front of the bathhouse, a mother and her daughter were talking business.
"I'm so glad we kept this old bath house running. Your grandmother would be proud of us, I think," the mother said fondly, gazing out over the countryside.
Just then, a naked boy with wild black hair and an insane-sounding laugh ran right in front of them, quickly followed by a naked, screaming red haired boy.
"Me too, Mom," the daughter said, her head following the boys. "Me too…"
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Remember: nude!Harry/Ron/Hermione/Ginny is love!