White Feather
I stood there staring at the full open white box, a glass cover on it; I wondered if she was comfortable inside.
She looked like those life-less dolls with too much make-up and bizarre white clothing; her hands were tangled with one another above her chest, flowers surrounding her. I believe those were her favorites. Lilacs…
What surprised me the most was that partial, insane smile of hers plastered on her lips, and it was when I wondered:
''Did she die being happy about it?''
I can recall the day perfectly... I can still remember how raindrops fell around us as her blood dripped to the floor. I will never forget how she could hardly breathe and how her silver hair was a soft shade of crimson red. She held her hand to her side trying to stop the blood flowing out of her body.
It was odd how she didn't shout... and how she laid relaxed on the floor, as if she was kindly expecting Death to embrace her, to take her away. She held her gaze up in the sky; small tears forming in her eyes, her soaked clothes sticking to her body making it even harder to breathe.
-At last, I´m free from the pain.
I remember those were her last words and I couldn't hold myself back any longer. She had said so in a childish way, innocence filling her eyes - a playful smile on her pale lips. Her smile grew as I held her between my arms, softly sobbing as I took hair strands out of her face… She held on to me, cupping slightly my face as she did so. Her crimson eyes, similar to the blood designing the street, her soft hiccups begging for air, her nails digging onto her sides, her hair falling graciously around her... I couldn't believe it. She was fading away. Every little gasp she made to breathe was like a knife sinking deep into my heart, just like the one that was once sunk deep into her chest, I embraced her softly as I looked her in the eyes and smiled kindly… I didn't want her to lose hope, but I needed it more than she did.
My smile faded away as she held softer than before, she lost her grip as her face leaned to the side… her hand fell then, life-less on the floor. I took it and placed a soft kiss on it. I couldn't help it anymore. I cried for the first time in years like I never did before.
I was too late.
-... 'till dead do us apart.
I murmured in front of the cabinet, that perfect, stainless white little box that would keep her trapped.
Locked… she hated being locked.
I stared down at her hands - a small ring on her finger... an engagement ring. I remember how happy she was a year ago... when I got on one knee and took this crimson red box out, asking her simply:
-Marry me?
She said she would… and I lost her.
I felt how tears started to roll down my face. I bit my lip, almost to the point of making it bleed and clenched my hands into fist, my knuckles turning white. I lowered my gaze, staring at her now closed eyelids. I softly mumbled:
-Why? Why did you had to leave me?
Suddenly, I smashed my fists against the crystal cover cracking it a little bit. Every person in the room gasped at the sudden noise. I shouted, then:
-Why did leave me?
I could hear small whispers. I heard my name, I heard her name... it broke my heart. I wanted to run, run away and cry like I did a few days ago… No one could blame me. I had a reason to cry, I loved her... I loved her. I stared down at her for a second, her hair perfectly combed, her face completely white, her long eyelashes caressing her cheeks... I couldn't hold myself back. I turned around and opened the door behind me, smashing them into the walls; a loud thud was heard as I ran across the room.
I ran away from the gossips, away from the people I cared about, away from my friends… away from her dead body and our lost child.
I ran out to the graveyard, tombs everywhere in sight, dead leaves on the floor, wind hitting hard. I ran with closed eyes, tears running down my face. I stopped at some point and fell on my knees. I knew they would be burying her in this same moment. I stood for a second, and managed to find the place she would be.
There were people gathered around her, around the descending box. It was when they launched the first pile of dirt I felt like dying... I wanted to run and hit the guy shoving piles of dirt onto my wife's coffin. But I needed to control myself. They had placed the inscription some time later... I took a quick glance over it when there was no one around... and I ran again, petrified and saddened.
Minutes passed by, hours did too, I don't even know how much time I was there sitting on the floor, staring to nothing in particular. Hoping this was all a dream…
But it was not. The sky was turning a soft grey, it was late, I could notice, and then a thunder rang out.
I stared up to the sky… seeing how the light went lighter and lighter, until it was gone. I couldn't help to remember
-She liked thunderstorms...
I turned on a cigarette and drew in the smoke, filling my lungs with the essence of it; I kept it in for a few second, and then let it out. Breathed the smoke in and out every once in a while, raindrops hitting the concrete, it was when I remembered...
-Len, if I died… You would be sure that I will be buried beside… her, right?
-Yeah, I think I would, how come? You're not planning on killing yourself, right?
Len laughed a little about it, I faked a little chuckle.
I took the smoke deep into my lungs and breathed out, I threw the cigarette to the floor and stepped over it. I looked up to the sky - tears started welling up in my eyes again, the memory of the inscription on the stone flashing back into my mind:
Haku Honne
Age Unknown
A White Feather
I stared down to my reflection. It was raining again. Like it rained that day.
I held my breath for a second and closed my eyes, deep on my thoughts. I thought of turning on another cigarette but I stopped it by the corner of my mouth. I smiled, unhappy as I threw the cigarete on the floor and stared at it in disgust.
-I hate it when you smoke, Dell...
A tear fell down my face, I closed and then, opened my eyes with new hope, I could swear I heard a soft humming with the air… I walked out into the rain, mumbling softly to no one in particular:
-I'm dying tonight.
FIN
Tried to do something sad. Just 'cause I felt like it.
I just don´t know why I choose Haku x Dell, but it seemed more... suitable
Review?
Sincerely Yours:
C.C. Cr0ss
Edit: 10/17/2013