Disclaimer: If I owned it, L and Raito would never stop—::nosebleed::—ow…well, you know…heheh.

Are you proud of me? I dragged my sick ass out of bed at 3:00 in the fricken' morning because I love you all too much. You better be damn grateful, because I feel like crap…This is my first Death Note fic…Gah! I'm nervous!

WARNINGS: Sadistic L, weirdness, leaves off in a very…suggestive place, YAOI (that means boy on boy), and a sick author (physically and mentally)

And…I know a couple people already are aware of this, but…::snickers::…How many people have realized what Yagami backwards is?

Also, I have decided to take my useless!A/N's out, because, as a lovely reviewer pointed out to me, I 'probably shouldn't have put A/N's in the middle of the story since it really takes the reader back out of the little fantasy world and is a bit of a reminder that we aren't really in a cafe with my two favorite DN boys.' Thank you, Decembers-Coldest-Rain!! I am grateful!


Raito twitched.

As he watched Ryuuzaki, he vaguely wondered why he had agreed to come to this café with the odd detective. It was only when he tried to raise his left arm to take a drink of his coffee that he remembered the bastard had handcuffed them to each other. And since the chain wasn't long enough for Raito to stay at the hotel (even if it had been, he doubted Ryuuzaki would have let Raito stay by himself), he had been forced to come.

He twitched again.

He had been getting more and more irked since Ryuuzaki had ordered a large, sickeningly sugary piece of strawberry cake. It had gotten worse when he proceeded to take infuriatingly small bites with a fork held between two fingers, chewing slowly and deliberately, licking the fork clean every four or five bites. Yes, Raito counted; it was an effort to stay calm and not shove that fork through Ryuuzaki's pale throat.

The same goddamned throat that made tiny movements when the bastard swallowed those small bites of pure sugary repulsiveness.

Raito had observed Ryuuzaki, sipping his coffee and trying extremely hard not to let his annoyance bleed through his calm façade.

But now, as Raito watched the detective lick white frosting from his fingers in a calm, leisurely, maddening manner, he almost lost it with the man.

He looked a little closer and saw Ryuuzaki's silky-looking tongue slowly lick the tip of his index finger clean of frosting…

And felt his face heat up. 'Oh, hell no. Not while I'm handcuffed to him…'

But as much as he probably should have wanted to, he found looking away was not an option, not after Ryuuzaki had slid his pink tongue along the entire length of his slender index finger.

Raito distantly registered the heat pooling somewhere else as well. He was a little too focused on Ryuuzaki's torturous mouth (currently licking the man's middle finger) to think about much else. However, when the detective slid the whole finger into his mouth, the heat in his lower regions increased, and Raito realized his pants felt a little tight for some reason. 'Dammit, this ends now.' "Ryuuzaki."

The detective appeared to be lost in his own little sugar-world, because he made no movement to show that he had heard his pseudonym being called. As Ryuuzaki continued to suck his middle finger, Raito redoubled his efforts, but not before the pressure in his—ahem—had redoubled as well.

"Ryuuzaki!"

Ryuuzaki looked up, his finger still in his mouth. He slid it out slowly, making the heat in Raito's body get a lot worse. It didn't help that he had deliberately held eye contact with Raito. Now his pants felt very tight. "Yes, Yagami-kun?"

"Ryuuzaki, for the sake of my dignity, would you mind not doing that?" Raito forced out, well aware that his accursed face had a heavy blush, like, all over it.

"Why, Yagami-kun?" asked Ryuuzaki, his finger getting dangerously close to his mouth again. He looked so damn oblivious, but Raito knew better than that. The pressure was almost painful now.

"Because," Raito said sharply, "my coat is not long enough or bulky enough to cover up certain areas of my anatomy." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, silently thanking the table for having a tablecloth.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Yagami-kun." Raito could have sworn—no, he swore he saw a smirk on Ryuuzaki's face as he took his index finger back into his mouth and—

'Oh, hell! The bastard knows he's doing it! And he's giving his finger a—no, I'm not even going to go there. I'm not, I'm not, I'm—dammit, I just did!'

Raito knew he couldn't take much more of this. He leaned across the table and hissed, "Dammit, Ryuuzaki! I mean you're giving me a hard-on!"

Ryuuzaki smirked, reached into his pocket, and got out some money to leave on the table. He stood up, leaving Raito no choice but to follow, and said quietly, "Well then, that must be taken care of, Yagami-kun."

Raito panicked, but decided quickly on a way to hide…um…that. He draped his jacket over his right arm and held it in front of himself, trying to look casual. God forbid the wind were to pick up…

Ryuuzaki walked quickly back to their hotel, which was (thankfully!) close to the café, dragging the bewildered Raito along behind him. The black-haired man mentally cursed when he found that there were others on the elevator they called down, but he knew he could wait a little longer.

As soon as they were safely inside their room, L sent an order down to Watari to have all the cameras in that room and that room only to be turned off. Watari immediately did so; he did have his questions, but he kept them to himself, because, after all, L had his reasons, too.

As soon as Watari reported the surveillance equipment disabled, L thanked him, turned off the computer, and looked at Raito.

Raito found the animalistic look in Ryuuzaki's eyes a little scary. However scary he may have found it, though, was twice over cancelled out by how incredibly arousing he found it.

"So, Yagami-kun…" Ryuuzaki began, licking his lips hungrily.

Raito's eyes widened.


Umm…is it confusing that I keep switching names? Because I keep reading it and I'm like, "WTFH is going on at this part?!" Oh, and before she reads this and kills me, I would like to say that A LOT OF THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS STORY CAME FROM HELLAGODDESS'S GINGER KISS WHICH YOU ALL NEED TO READ!! Now you can't say I never said it. Thank you, Hellagoddess! And if anyone finds any errors or anything, yell at me!!

My muse always comes back at bad times…