What if Jack had acted like he had with Lily…willing to use force to take what he wanted? A different scenario for how things could have played out in episode 3x17--because we all know Jack Bass is an *ss, so nothing (and I repeat nothing) is below him.
Be warned, it is dark and angsty. There can't always be a happy ending but I hope you still read.
And as always, thank you for reading and review if you have a moment.
She's on the roof of the empire. She doesn't know where else to go. Serena and Nate are still at her penthouse. The giggling girls at NYU would stare. She has no home but this one and it feels far from a home now.
She looks out over the edge. It's all so strange, so out of perspective from the rooftop but she supposes it would look the same from the ground below as well. Her world was destroyed and there was nothing else to provide her solace.
Jack was right. She had called the store, the designer was a good friend of her mother's, Chuck Bass had paid for the dress and had it delivered to her penthouse. The sales girl had even remembered word for word the message he had asked her to transcribe in his hushed voice.
"So it's done?"
She turns to see him there. She's unsure how to feel. He's the one that put her in this position. That let her go to that monster. He had wanted this.
She can't find the words so she just watches the skyline. He knows, she can feel the heaviness in his footsteps as he comes to stand next to her. The sigh he takes when he calculates damage control.
He should have known this would be beyond repair.
But she had loved him and she used to believe that meant he could do anything.
"It's in the past now."
It could never be in the past. She couldn't trust him. She could never trust him.
But she can't seem to find the words.
"We both played a part, B."
She did play a part. She was his girlfriend. The person who loved him more than anyone else in this world.
She put on the dress he had sent. She fixed her makeup and chose the jewelry to match. She had to look the part to win the game.
She had sacrificed herself for him. But what had he lost in this battle?
"The worst thing I ever did, the darkest thought I ever had. You said you would stand by me through anything. This is anything B."
Could it be that simple? She had made a promise when she was young and innocent. Had he written it down and signed it with her blood? Was she bound to him like that contract Jack had written?
She took off the dress. Her fingers found the buttons and gently pulled them apart, letting the fabric fall to the floor.
She wonders now if she had somehow known that the worst thing he'd ever do would be to her.
"It can go back to how it was."
But it can't. She can't go back.
His hands had snaked up her body. He smells like scotch and she cringed as he kissed her but he had continued with no remorse.
Didn't Chuck know that? Hadn't he noticed the constant glass of alcohol no matter the time of day? The slight stumble that came with his anger?
"I couldn't let him win B. Don't you understand?"
But she doesn't understand. Because she's lost. And if she's lost doesn't that mean he has too?
His breath was against her throat. Its sticky and warm and she feels nauseous. Maybe it was too much to ask. But maybe it was too late.
"We have each other and the hotel. He didn't win B. Don't you see?"
She hears his desperation but she can't see. She just hears the echoes of her words in a room she once felt safe in. Words that fell on deaf ears.
She said no. When he kissed her she said no. But he didn't listen.
She can't ever go back there. He hadn't won anything. He had lost it all. Wasn't she supposed to be the most important thing in his life? Was there a price she could be bought and sold at?
Clearly Chuck had found it.
His hands covered her mouth blocking all protests. She had signed the papers he reasoned. The tears didn't seem to bother him.
"You went up there on your own."
And his words snap her to reality. He's just as much of a monster as his uncle.
She couldn't breathe. His hand over her mouth. His body heavy against hers. She felt dizzy and alone and she thought Chuck would be there to save her but he wasn't. No one could save her now.
She doesn't even realize she's slapped him until her hand feels numb. But it doesn't help any. She feels short of breath, dizzy and alone all over again.
His eyes cloud over and his voice harsher now. He's trying to make her understand but she never can.
"You did this B. You chose to sacrifice for me."
But it had been too much. He had asked too much from her. And as always she gave selflessly.
He smiles as he tells her the truth. How she's tricked herself into thinking this was some heroic act. She's just naive and scarred now. Nothing worth having.
"We all have to lie in the beds we've made."
She wants to scream at him but she can't find the strength. It seems surreal. There was a line and it had been crossed. Chuck would realize eventually where the pieces had fallen but it would be too late by then. It was already too late.
It had never been her choice. She was merely a pawn captured in an early round. An insignificant afterthought in a game she didn't understand.
She walks away from him. Unable to form any words. It must be a bad dream but his words make her know better than to believe there could be a happy ending in this tragedy.
"You did this B. You loved me enough to do this."
He's screaming at her retreating figure trying to justify actions he knows are wrong. And it's the breaking point she needed because the tears are falling down her face. She had loved him. More than she could even love herself.
She had loved him so much she had sold herself to a monster.
But she can't go back to him. He wouldn't understand. No one ever could. She had suffered through purgatory but instead of finding her own salvation she had found there was no heaven at the end of her trials.
There was no way to win this game.
She walks through the streets of Manhattan with thick mascara smeared across her cheeks. She's nothing more than another broken girl in a city full of broken people now.
She arrives at the door and knocks loudly, praying for some rescue. And when the bouncy blonde appears she can't take it anymore and forces the words out.
"I said no."
And Serena's expression is filled with shock and uncertainty and Blair knows she doesn't understand (and probably never will) but she pulls the petite brunette into a hug.
But it was too late. She had signed on the line and now she had to live with the consequences.
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heart telling
To watch shepherd meet shepherd
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Alanis Morissette
Clearly I am feeling a little anti-Chuck at the moment. I guess I will have to simply wait and see how the writers can somehow salvage his character.
Once again thanks for sharing in my Chair angst. Maybe I'll watch some early season 1 and wedding scenes to be inspired for a happy C/B fic soon! Please review if you have a moment as well. Thanks!