Okay this was done in the most wonderful of spirit to the most wonderful of people and places………  Don't own final fantasy or anything else

GroupieLiterature.net, the inspiring tale of Zell's first day of work.

One could cut the tension with a spork; the tension was that thick.  Cyber nerds and geeks alike arrived at headquarters, like locust through time.  As each one entered the building, they would stop at the main entrance.  Adorning the great walls of the hallowed building where murals of all the majestic ones before. 

Each employee silently paid their respects to the fallen idols: pong, commodore 64, Apple IIe, Atari, Sega (all of them), Packer Bell, and e-machines.  Yes, I understand they are still around – but let's just face it, time is running out.  Finally, each would bow down to the Golden Gates – the 24k Bill Gates Statue of him holding a monopoly board in one hand and congress in the other.

Zell nervously marveled at all wonders that were GroupieLiterature.net.  He walked up to one of the passer by to ask some information about where to go for his first day of work.  Unfortunately, the person not being used to being approached by anyone that was jock-like, was very scared.

The horrified employee quickly handed over his lunch money, his American Express Gold Card, and of course, keys to the 2002 black Jag in the parking lot.  Yes, not much had changed from high school, just the rewards got better. 

Zell pocketed the keys and continued on to the information desk.  "Yes I'm looking for Zing - I'm the newest employing her/his/it's division." 

No problem stated the guard, "Just turn 180' around walk in angle that is parallel to the curvature of the earth, and then divide the number of days in the Chinese New Year by the circumference of Rush Limbaugh's head.  Then push the altitude-increasing apparatus to the level of which you aspire. Which I believe shall be the same as the United States President's that were born in the state of Illinois plus the number of them who 'didn't have sexual relations' with interns... then add the number of Windows XP sold within the continental untied states, then subtract the number of dollars in Microsoft stock that were traded on the NYSE yesterday."

"Huh," stated Zell.  "What?"

The guard laughed, "You caught me – they don't trade technology stock there!" The guard then snorted to himself for twenty minutes.  Soon as he was finally able to use his inhaler, the guard turned back to the confused looking spiky haired dude, "Um… okay… yeah… your one of those guys. Go right to the elevator, and then get off at the fiftieth floor.  Um… yeah… what division are you going to work in again?"

Zell smiled at the man, "I'm going to be the dude that makes sure that website keeps running and there are never any interruptions of service.  How hard could that be…?"

Just like the guy in the white suit in Jurassic Park (Not the guy from KFC ads) - The guard stepped out from behind the desk with his cane.  Suddenly loud music composed by John Williams blared through the PA system as the guard in the best British accent he could do (Which is hard when you live the valley, for sure – totally dude!) announced, "Welcome to GroupieLiterature.net"

Yes indeed what could possible go wrong?

Next time on GroupieLiterature.net – Zell tries, and tries, and tries to log in… Will he stop getting that annoying error message? Will he ever find his boss the ever-elusive Zing?  Stay tuned…. For the next edition of Fan… um no… GroupieLitature.net…….