Authors Note: Ok, so I have the privilege of playing the role of Nancy in our school play, This is just some funny stuff of everyone being the crazy people we are during rehearsal and not in rehearsal…. anyways…. lol
THE CASE OF LEARNING A COCKNY ACCENT
So Oliver is a British play with accents. However, in our case, the kids and some of the adults were apparently unaware.
Me: Oh my dear little brother!
Oliver: No emotion and just standing there. Leggo, Leggo, who is it Leggo.
Director: Oliver, you're struggling and yelling.
Oliver: why?
Me: Your saying LET GO LET GO!!
Oliver: OH! Ok laughs I thought I was asking for a Lego.
Director: Blue or green? Ok take it again…
Me: Oh my dear little brother!
Oliver: Screams and pulls and just about dislocates my arm. Leggo! LEGGO, who is it? LEGGO!!
Street people: laughing hysterically
Director: CUT! Why are you laughing? She (Our Oliver is a girl)…I mean he is getting kidnapped, what funny about that??
Thieves: Ya but not ARRRF
Director: your not dogs! You're saying half with out the H.
Bill: Give it air you avaricious old skeleton! Give it AIR!
Fagin: Blows in Bills face
Bill: Hey!
Fagin: you said give it air
Director: Its HERE Bill HERE but no H
THE CASE OF DIRTY LITTLE SAYINGS
The High School Cast finds it funny to think of dirty things and then say them out loud.
Widow Corny: sings I shall SCREAM! I shall SCREAM
Mr. Bumble: Sings you will wonder where the scream went when we come to an agreement.
Fagin: Woe! What kind of play is this?
Dr. Grimwig: It that boy's thirsty I'll eat my head sir!
Bill: Man will that hurt! I slap him Ouch!
Me: Little ears!
And then there are times when the kids say things that I marvel where they get it.
Me and Bet are on the Balcony of the Tavern
Bet: Think Whorish Think Whorish
Me: Stares credulously what did you say?
Bet: Well were prostitutes right?
Mind you Bet is 8years old!
Me: sings…And dream he was an earl wiv a girl on each knee… Jumps off the table and Mr. Percy Snod Grass hands me a dollar, I put in my shirt.
Director: Nice improve guys
Me: Laughing and has to start the song all over again.
THE CASE OF ON STAGE COMBAT
In the process of learning on stage combat, sometimes it went a little askew.
Noah: …Or she'd have been doing hard labor in prison-as like as not!
Oliver: Jumps and begins to punch Noah then chokes him. Oliver then falls off the table as it rolls.
Bill: I'll soon do that if you don't KEEP OFF Backhands me
Me: Flies to the floor
Director: that looked so fake. Nancy, what happened to the slap? Is it soundless? Again.
Bill: I'll soon do that if you don't KEEP OFF Backhands me and I produce the slap then go toppling onto the floor onto the trashcan posed as the fire.
Director: Nancy, good sound effect but you just caught on fire. Again.
Bill: I'll soon do that if you don't KEEP OFF Backhands me and I produce the slap then go toppling onto the floor onto the trashcan posed as the fire. AGAIN
Me: Stands up very angry. Wots that BLASTED thing doin in the middle of the feakin stage any way!!! We try the slap again an again I fall onto the trash.
Thieves: Laughing
Me: Fuming shut your traps!
Director: Nice way to get in character.
Bill and I blocked my death scene with the help of Dr. Grimwig
Me: Points you see 'im 'es right there. Go on
Oliver: Hugs me
Bill: tears him away
Me: Holding onto Bill and Oliver BILL! Don't take 'im back 'im back Bill, Let 'im Go for pities sake let 'im go! Lets go of Bills arm. W-w-why you lookin' at me like that Bill?
Bill: Backhands me and I don't fall but stagger It's a dark night my girl but it's light enough for what I've got to do
Me: attempts to slap Bill and he grabs my hand and pulls me to him I wasn't gonna blow the gaff honest I wasn't Bill! I wouldn't say nothing! Begins to choke me and I struggle and die.
Dr. Grimwig: Bill! You should back away and then throw a joker card at her!
Me: This is not Oliver In the Hood!
Bill: YES SHE WILL FAGIN! Actually backhands me but not with full force thank GOD!
Director: Wow! That was a good slap!
Me: Ow!! Holding face as the tears are coming
Bill: OH CRAP! Did I actually hit you????
THE CASE OF THE LAUGHING
There will always be laughing…
Me: YES!! I know all about – YOUR SMILING!!
Bill: I'm sorry but your face is so close Laughing
Me: Sings As long as he needs me I know where I must be
Bill: Makin that money Ho!
Me: HAHAHAHAHA
Director: Bill Keep yer mouth SHUT!!!
Me: Sings Pretty little Sally goes walking down the ally pulls up dress to thigh and one of the guy hold my leg which is very ticklish and I start laughing really hard!!!
Director: Nancy! Get it together!
Me: still laughing uncontrollably.
I will add more as thing happen!