The will to lead on

Chapter one: Awaken

dedicated to Elita One...:) thanks babe

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They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. Distance can have many meanings, and from my perspective, distance was something I wasn't willing to trifle with. Kind of like fate, I never let my hand play the fate card too often. The loss of jazz, I will never believe that his death was fate. Going out to see the sun rise over the earth, and finding myself not alone, I could see as fate. I could see as destiny. For even without knowing her; I loved her. Beyond any doubt you may have; I loved her. Perhaps I was not in love with her in ways physical but in ways mental. She was a constant reminder of stability in an otherwise variable world.

My hologram paced in front of my Semi form. I sat parked in the parking lot of the military hospital watching people come and go. I sighed, my mind filled with worry, whether or not she was ok. Jo had been in surgery for almost two hours now and I hadn't yet heard anything from Ratchet. She was getting a new kneecap courtesy of part of my shoulder assembly. Bumblebee's hologram was leaned against the honey colored Camero that served as his form. With a sigh he stood watching me "You need to just go in there." He spoke finally; I assumed he was fed up with my pacing.

"Ratchet will inform me when the operation is finished." I said stopped my pacing looking to the younger Autobot. Sitting back against my own grill I put a hand to my chin pondering his words.

"I've not seen you like this for a long time prime." Bumblebee's statement made me turn. He was young but he was wise. It never ceases to amaze me the wisdom that comes from the youngest of us.

"What's wrong with me?" I questioned turning to him. It's unlike me to ask such things. I am Prime after all, and being so unsettled was not my normal routine. "She's human."

"You love her, there's nothing wrong with that." Bumblebee shot me a smile. Primus if for one instance I could be as carefree as the youngling.

"How old are you again? Have you ever been with a woman?" I closed my eyes for a moment to think. How could this young thing give me love advice?

"Well one of our kind …yes." I opened my eyes wide and gave him a look with a raised brow. Bumblebee with a woman was more of a shock to me than me having an emotional affair with a human. I thought I would hear Ironhide admit he loved someone before I would hear that Bumblebee had been with a femme.

"No."

"I'm pretty sure yes." He smiled at me with a bit of a laugh in his voice. I shook my head and looked to the pavement. "I have the data file to prove it."

"Dear Primus that will not be necessary….our little Bumblebee is not so little anymore." Where had the time gone? What had I been doing that I missed this? I tried to think back to when it was the four of us last saw a femme bot.

"Ratchet gave me the femme talk Deca-Cycles ago…" He rolled his eyes. I sighed, and nodded placing a hand on his shoulder. I didn't know what else to do so I told him the truth.

"I should not think of you as such a child anymore. You're a dear friend… my apologies."

"None needed Prime." Bumblebee looked up to Ratchet whose hologram stood before us. The hologram suited him, lab coat and all. "Hey there he is…"

"She's ready now…going back to her room." His voice was clear and had an air of pride to it. They had succeeded. I could tell.

"How did everything go?" I walked up to him already knowing the answer.

"Fine…with my assistance everything went according to the plans we had set for the operation. There were no hang ups." Ratchet smiled. "She'll be using something to assist her to walk but she will be fine." He smiled and held out his holograms hand. I shook it; we were still trying to tackle human gestures.

"May I?" I motioned to the hospital, as if to ask permission. For which I needed none really.

"Of course…but Prime..." Before he could say more my hologram had vanished. "Primus…" Ratchet shook his head and looked at my true form. "You will be the end of us all you realize." Ratchet's hologram kicked my left front tire. I hate it when we do this to ourselves.

I moved my hologram into her room, my vision flickered as Ratchet kicked me. I quickly excused the notion of going back out there and running his hologram over. He was not one of my worries, and I had a more pressing matter to attend to.

The room was lit dimly, and the only sound I heard was her heart monitor. I stepped up to her bed and sat down in a rolling chair. She was lying still and had both hands placed on her stomach. I took one her hands and leaned down laying my head near her shoulder and stared at her. She was something else. Her eyes were closed but I longed to see the brown eyes that had captivated me so. I touched her hair that was lying carelessly down on the bed. Her hair was red color of autumn leaves, but specked with traces of gold. I never really looked that closely, but it was beautiful.

"She's in here?" A familiar voice came and broke my train of thought; the door opened. The open door let in a flood of light that covered Jo. I turned and smiled. "Hey." Lennox lowered his voice to a whisper. "Watching over her?" I didn't respond to the obvious question, with a more useless obvious answer.

"Yes, how are things back at the hanger? Is Ironhide showing some restraint?" I asked. Jo had been hurt in the capture of Barricade. He was in a stasis lock, and in cryo-sleep. Ironhide had volunteered to stay behind and guard him. Because knowing Ironhide the way I do, if Barricade so much as moved a tire, he was scrap.

"Trying I guess. How is she?" Lennox bit his lip. I could see the worry in his eyes as he looked at her bandaged knee.

"She will be fine." I was not sure of my answer. I hoped that she would be fine and I would not have to do more to keep her safe.

"Good, because I need her." Lennox smiled "Best damn tech in town…keeps all the guns in order." Lennox looked at me with a smile "I'm going to head back…do you need anything?"

"No." I smiled and waved a careless hand. "I shall be fine, take Bumblebee back with you, and tell Ironhide I want him here tonight."

"You got it Optimus." Lennox placed a caring hand on my hologram's shoulder. A gesture of good will. He exited the room quietly pulling the door shut as he left.

I returned my focus to Jo, who was quiet, but breathing steady. I ran my hand through her hair gently. She moved a bit. "Jo?"

"Optimus?" She blinked and her brow furrowed. I leaned forward and pulled her hand to my lips and kissed it gently. She moaned but didn't quite awaken, she was close though as she had said my name. I stood and leaned over her and placed a kiss on her cheek. I went over it in my logs, the kiss and its many definitions and tales. I found something in my logs that startled me a bit. It also fascinated me. I moved over her looking down, moving a stray hair from her eyes and I kissed her lips. It was a prominent move in children's tales to wake a sleeping woman. I just hoped it would work.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Hello." I smiled down and made a mental note of such actions. Kissing the sleeping beauty will result in her awakening.

"Hi." She reached up with her right hand; the IV was being caught on the bed so I pushed her hand back down so she would not rip out the IV. "You will be well soon; you just need to rest to be at full capacity." I looked down "Captain Lennox was here."

"Really?" She looked at me. I could get lost in the brown eyes… "What did he say?"

"He is going back to the base, he just wished to check on your well being." I smiled down to her.

"Of course he did." She looked at me and sighed "They're all I have left really..my team..I don't really have a family."

"I will be here with you...I am happy to be your family." I said not sure what else to say. In times like these I wonder why I struggle with my words. I have been Prime a long time, a leader of Soldiers, a leader of Autobots. However I find myself lacking in the department of finesse. I find myself having the most troubles, when it comes to me understanding females. Autobot, and apparently human alike, it is my Curse. A curse I certainly hope to lift.

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Ok who knows what I was doing… . you asked for it. Elita one …this is dedicated to you…