Gestures
Tali stretched, feeling refreshed and clean after using the med-bay's decontamination showers for her personal bathing routine. It was the only place on the ship where she could safely take off her suit to wash. She usually did so at night, however, as she was always suspicious that Joker might be watching. Doctor Chakwas had gone to bed and the young quarian thought she was alone.
"Keelah! Shepard!" she almost tripped over her own feet when she stepped out of the med-bay and noticed the figure sitting in the semi-dark lounge.
"Tali!" the commander seemed equally startled, almost spilling the warm beverage she was nursing.
The two women took a moment to collect themselves and laughed. "What are you doing sitting here all alone?" Tali finally asked. The commander was almost always accompanied at meal times. Either by Garrus, with whom Shepard bantered and laughed, or with Kaiden, who seemed to make the commander more silent of late.
"I'm wallowing," Shepard explained, slouching back in her chair, "care to join me?" she waved her arm at the several open seats around the table.
Tali hesitated. Part of her wanted to return to her bunk and call it a night, but she was, at heart, a very social creature. She was used to long nights chatting with her friends back on the Rayya. She missed it. She was unsure where human etiquette dictated she sit for a one on one conversation, though Shepard's vague motion gave Tali the impression that it didn't matter, at least in this case. So she picked the spot at Shepard's left, preferring closeness. It seemed more natural. "So," she said, imitating her leader's lazy posture, "what are we wallowing about?"
"Oh, a number of things." Shepard sighed, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Is it this mission?" Tali questioned. The crew was being sent to mop up some geth that had escaped after Saren's defeat. The mission "didn't smell right." Wrex's words.
"Yes and no," Shepard replied, absentmindedly sloshing her drink around in her mug a bit. Abruptly she blurted, "have you ever had sex, Tali?"
Tali jumped. Suddenly her suit felt very hot and she had to hastily adjust a few temperature controls before she could even begin to answer. For her part, Shepard was looking at Tali with the level, calm expression of someone who has just asked a friend if they have ever been to a particular food stall on the citadel. That was the thing about Commander Shepard, Tali thought as she tried to formulate a reply. No matter what the human said, she always seemed so unperturbed. Even horribly dangerous situations rarely brought Shepard's voice above the normal level. "N-no, Shepard, I have not," she managed, but then felt the need to explain further, "Well, I've never had a real relationship, and if I did my partner and I would have to be very careful because we're not immune to each other...so to speak."
"Sex can make you sick?" Shepard asked, sounding genuinely curious.
"Yes. There really are no casual relationships for my people. To...have sex, we have to link our suits. It's like merging two worlds." She couldn't think of a better way to explain it.
"It sounds sort of..." Tali expected the normal human responses to anything foreign. Especially anything quarian. 'Creepy'. 'Weird'. 'Ridiculous.' "Beautiful," said Shepard.
Tali was taken aback. She blinked inside her helmet and her suit interpreted this rapid eyelid movement as possible irritation, gently sending a few drops of a soothing solution into them. "It does? Most aliens, sorry, other species, think anything we quarian's do is really strange."
"This whole galaxy is strange," Shepard said matter-of-factly. "The other night I caught Garrus picking food out of his mandibles with a spork. Things are weird all over."
Tali laughed. That was something else Shepard could always do. Make the crew laugh. This might be how she brought them all together to easily. Tali knew that none of them would have ever become friends on their own. It was Shepard; insisting that they eat together, making sure everyone was heard at briefings, and always respecting every culture.
"So," Tali pressed on, already feeling more at ease with the subject because Shepard was so at ease, "why are we wallowing about sex?"
"Well," Shepard heaved a lengthy sigh, "you know that Kaiden and I became somewhat close over the course of these life or death missions?"
"Oh yes," Tali said, feeling a little glad she was in the know as to ship gossip and dealings. Still, she tried not to show it, maintaining her lounging posture. In the flotilla body language was everything. Not being able to easily see facial expressions had forced them to develop a sort of second language of gestures and postures. Humans also had a lot of body language, but the rules were not the same, so Tali made sure to stick with what she knew. She did notice that Shepard's facial expression no longer looked so happy. She was getting better at reading human faces too. Well, at least Shepard's. "You two...?"
"Linked suits." Shepard supplied, giving Tali a wan smile.
"Yes," Tali smiled also, behind her face mask, so she knew the commander could not really see it. "Are you not happy about this?"
"I'm not sure," Shepard pressed her palms against her eyes, wearily. "Maybe not. Kaiden is a great guy. I mean, really great, but I'm starting to wonder if he is the one for me. I guess I never really meant to get so serious. I think the stress of the mission made me seek out someone and Kaiden was there, more than willing to come running to my cabin."
Tali might have blushed, had she not resolved to be alright with this topic. She may have been younger than Shepard, but she was eager to be a mature adult. Soon she would be dropped back off with the Migrant Fleet, and she wanted to go back is a confident woman. No longer the eager youth who had left her family's ship on her pilgrimage. "Is there someone else?" she asked cautiously. She suspected she knew the answer.
"Maybe," Shepard's smile turned impish. "But that's not the reason. And I would never cheat on Kaiden. I'm just not sure if he and I are in a real relationship. After we spent the night together things have been, well, awkward. If he was a little bit clingy before, he's doubly so now. I keep catching him staring at me, and he keeps trying to hold my hand or kiss me and all I can think is: leave me alone please."
Tali sat quietly for a moment, thinking. "Perhaps you should just tell him that it's over."
"I plan to. After the mission. He's no good if he's going to be upset the whole time. He has a hard time separating his feelings from the task at hand and I wouldn't want him to get himself or anyone else hurt."
"I suppose that's best," Tali nodded, feeling pleasantly important that Shepard was sharing so much with her.
"Well," Shepard stretched and yawned, "I think I had better turn in, and so should you. If we find those pesky geth tomorrow we'll want to be well rested."
"Indeed," Tali said, unable to keep herself from yawning as well. Some things humans and quarians shared. She stood and walked with Shepard towards the elevator for Tali and the stairs for Shepard. Tali found she liked walking shoulder to shoulder with the human. She deeply admired the strong woman, hoping very much to be like her one day.
As the two parted ways Tali was still smiling inside her helmet. She secretly suspected who the commander may really have her eye on. She'd have to be sure to tell the lucky turian if she got the chance. He'd been secretly sweet on Shepard for a long time.
Neither woman suspected that the geth mission the next day would go horribly wrong. Instead they both thought happily of their chat, and how glad they were to have each other as a friend.