"Joker is finalising preparations now, the trip should take a few hours. I'll admit it Shepard; I'm impressed. You got us here. Are you ready?"
"We've got the right team and the Collector's own technology. We can do this,"
"I hope you're right, commander, we'll know soon enough. I'll inform you of any changes. Otherwise, we'll be there in a few hours. Good luck, Shepard. See you on the other side,"
Miranda finally saluted to me, before heading off, for her own preparations for the final battle, probably. I sigh, before starting forwards. I was going to go back to my room. Just to shower. I had to be in the best condition I could… this was going to be one hell of a battle.
***
Hot water sprayed onto my face as I slowly cleanse myself in the shower. I run my fingers through my hair, hoping to remove every trace of dirt I've accumulated so far. It was nice to shower, especially before a mission. It was a good way to remove stress.
Remove stress…
I step out of the shower, feeling revitalised and warm, before changing back into my casual wear. It would only be a few hours until I would be changing into my battle armour… for a fight the likes of something I haven't seen… for two years.
Thinking about it makes me tense, and I slowly make my way out of the bathroom. Entering the main section of my cabin, I start slightly, but probably not obviously, at the sight of Garrus standing at the door. He smiles, and holds up a bottle.
"Hey, I brought wine. Best I could afford on a vigilante's salary."
I fold my arms, and smile. My body relaxes slightly. I was amused. Garrus turns, and runs for the console, pressing a couple of buttons. Music starts to pound out of the speakers, something I recall from a nightclub, the name I don't remember. I shake my head, and I continue to smile.
Garrus rotates to face me, oblivious to my amusement. He moves back slightly, swinging his arms to the beat, towards the bed.
My folded arms drop, and I slowly walk towards Garrus, swinging my hips slowly and hypnotically. Garrus looks me up and down, and decides to take his chance.
"If you were a turian, I'd be complimenting your waist or your fringe. So… your, uh, hair looks good. And your waist is… very supportive,"
Every word came out jerkily, and Garrus started to stutter halfway through, as if his awkwardness had caught up with his tongue.
I stop, only a few centimetres away from his face. I place a hand on my hip, and just look at Garrus. I was quite humoured, yet I found it so adorable. I even felt sorry for the guy, slightly. He gulps slightly, and starts to babble. His head and hand movements start to become more frantic.
"Hopefully that's not offensive in human culture. Crap, I knew I should have watched the vids… Shepard, throw me a li-"
He looks at me in desperation, his gaze clearly screaming at me for help. I take a step forward, and look up, into his eyes. My smile changes to one more comforting, and he relaxes, but only by a small amount.
"Relax Garrus, you're worrying too much, and talking too much,"
I in turn observe Garrus, down from his feet to his head.
"Your fringe isn't bad, yourself. And your waist looks fine"
It was more in jest than a compliment, but Garrus's reaction wasn't as comforting. I watched him as his body froze up, and his eyes start to follow my movements, as if I was a predator cornering him.
I step forwards, reaching out a hand, ready to run my hand along his waist, down his hips, to graze his thigh. However, before I can touch him, he jumps back. His head drops, and he stares at the ground, at his feet. He starts to pace about, and mumbles.
"Um… sorry about the music, I guess you don't like it, heh,"
He walks past me, and presses a button on the console. The music stops. He looks at me, and I could clearly tell something was bothering him. I move closer to him, and try to gain eye contact, but his head avoids my gaze. What was once amusement at Garrus was now worry.
"G-Garrus?"
"I-I'm fine, o-of course, there's nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all,"
Yet, his head and body seemed to turn further away from me, as if he couldn't bear to look at me. Something was clearly troubling him. Was it embarrassment? …Was it disgust?
"Garrus, what's the problem?"
But he wouldn't respond to me. I wanted to reach out and touch him, anything to make him react, but something was pulling me back, too. I… I felt as if I was intruding. I step around Garrus, until I could finally see his face, his eyes, nose, his trembling mandibles…
However, the moment I was in sight, he closed his eyes, blocking out the world of light to him, and obscuring me from his vision. One hand reached up, and rubbed his face, as if to remove sweat.
"Garrus, please, tell me, what's wrong?"
He couldn't ignore me any longer. His eyes slowly open, until he could see me again, and he took one look at me, before sighing. He stares into my eyes, to tell me that I wasn't the reason, and he spoke, his voice quivering, fear in his words.
"I… I just… I,"
He took another breath, trying to recompose himself. Once he was ready, he looked me in the eyes again, and continued.
"I've seen so many things go wrong, Shepard. My work at C-Sec. What happened with Sidonis,"
He closed his eyes once more, and he turned his head to the right, so he wasn't facing me anymore. His head dropped slightly. He swallowed, and I could see small droplets of water running from his eyes, down his face. Was he… crying? I took one more step towards him. So close I could hear his gentle breath, feel its warmth against my skin. Yet not touching him.
"I want something to go right. Just once. Just…"
His eyes flew open. I had reached out my hand, and brushed the scar along his right cheek. He sniffed, and I gently stroke his face, wiping away his tears. My eyes blurred slightly, and a slight smile flittered across Garrus's face. I lean forwards, and he did too, until our foreheads were touching, affectionately rubbing together.
My head slides down his face, down his neck, until I'm resting on his shoulder.
"I won't let this go wrong. I'll do everything I can to make this work. For you, I promise,"
I can sense him smiling, I can tell his mandibles are twitching, I can feel him breathing, and his words seem to run through my body.
"Shepard… thank you… for giving me a chance. To fight Saren. To survive against those mercs. To confront Sidonis. To fight against this new threat. And now."
I smile, too. He tentatively lifts a hand and places it on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around his back. His arms move down to my waist and we stand there, embracing each other, just two people, alone and deaf to the world. We start to sway to the beat of an invisible song, chorusing through our bodies and souls, causing something magical to erupt in us.
Garrus's hands start to move, up my body, and towards the buttons that pinned these useless clothes to me. His hands grasped the collar, and his fingers moved deftly as he attempted to loosen the fastenings and pull the blouse off me. However, try as he might, he couldn't succeed. My blouse creased further, until it was futile, his hands were tangled, and he had to momentarily give up.
Meanwhile, I tried to undress him. My hands glided up his back, towards his neck, as I try to grasp his collar and pull it over his head in an attempt to remove his own shirt. However, the moment the collar reached his face, it got stuck in his mandibles and teeth, and the more I pulled, the worse the situation became, until Garrus started to cry out in pain.
I tried to go for something easier, and my hands fluttered lower down, towards his trousers. I feel around, trying to loosen it, try to peel it off, but turian clothing was completely unfamiliar to me, and my attempts started to become more forceful, more erratic, until my hand thrust forwards with far too much power, and slammed Garrus away.
He tumbled backwards, tripped on the floor, and landed hard on the ground. I clasped my hands to my mouth, and ran forwards, kneeling down beside him.
"Oh my god… are you okay?"
"I'm fine…"
He pulled his collar back into position, and I straightened my shirt. He looked at me, and I looked back at him. It was obvious in his eyes, and must have been in my eyes.
"I-I should go,"
He hastily pushes himself to his feet, and turns for the door. He starts off at a sprint, stopping at the door to press a button, causing it to slide open. He turns to face me one more time. His voice was apologetic, yet his words rang hollow.
"I'm sorry, Shepard… I can't do it… It'd be better for you if I go now… please, forget about this, forget this all ever happened… I'm sorry for wasting your time, sorry for making you make promises you can't possibly keep,"
I slowly walk up to him, his eyes following my movement. I stand in front of him, and look him in the eyes. He looks into mine, and I could truly see the sadness and painful experiences reflected in them. Everything he had been through… Everything he was going through now… I could see it all in his gaze. Blue… what a suitable colour. I reach out a hand, and slowly stroke his arm. I knew I couldn't comfort him in one movement, make it all go away, but it was all I could do. Maybe… this was for the best. It was going to be painful… but there wasn't anything that could be done without making it hurt more. This was the only way out. The best way out.
I take a deep breath.
"Garrus, I don't want to do something you'll regret. If… you don't want to do this. Maybe… it's best if you go,"
My hand moves away from his arm, and drops to my side. I turn around, facing away from him, and I start to bite my fingernail.
"I… I…"
"Garrus…"
"…Yes, Shepard,"
I hear the door close behind me, and I sigh once more. I shake my head, just trying to get rid of these lingering feelings. Though, I guess I couldn't throw it away just like that. I thought it was nice. Two friends, so deeply trusting… It sounded perfect. I guess I didn't think about what could go wrong that much.
I look to the right, at the bed, sitting there, pining away quietly. I look to the left, at the fish-tank. They were thriving, which was a lot harder than it sounded. It would have been nice to share it with somebody. I thought Garrus would have liked it, at least.
Well, I guess everything can't go right. The less I think about it, the better it's going to be. Sometimes… you have to move on. We were going to arrive at our destination in a few hours. I guess I'm going to have to push it aside, for now. I can't let it deter me from the mission. People's lives were at stake… I can't allow emotions to distract me, now.
I take one last look at my cabin, before turning around. I start suddenly, and my heart suddenly starts to pump faster.
"G-Garrus?"
He was still there, quietly looking at me. Standing in the same place I left him.
I was lost for words. His expression doesn't change, his glance, full of his past and present experiences, full of sorrow, frozen on his face. Yet he continued to look at me. I couldn't even see if he was breathing or not. I compose myself, and try to speak.
"B-But…"
"I didn't leave. I couldn't leave. Not like this,"
His lips barely moved, and his voice was a croak. Yet he continued to stare. I placed one hand on my pounding chest, and I walked forwards, straight into his arms. He catches me, and pulls me closer, tighter, as my arms flew around him. My heart thumped louder and louder, so hard that Garrus could feel it through my chest. I could feel water running down the top of my head, as Garrus cradled me, his face nuzzling mine. And I could feel my eyes starting to haze, too.
"You're still here…"
Garrus, still hugging me, still there, still existing, still breathing on me… still so wonderful and familiar…
"I'll always be there for you, Commander… no matter what,"
I didn't say anything, but just smiled. Garrus gently rocked me from side to side, he felt so calm, mature, strong, but he still felt so vulnerable. We were just two figures, in each other's embrace. We didn't need anything else.
I pulled myself into him, I could hear his heartbeat… feel it… everything whispering into my ear, telling me that he was here. I feel the air vibrate as he quietly whispers.
"C-Can we stay like this? Just for a little longer?"
I didn't say a word, but I slowly nodded my head, up and down.
He pulled me closer towards him, and I slowly stroke his arm, rub my face in his face, feel his skin, breathe in his breath. He felt so tender… so warm… and all I wanted to do was stay in his arms, as he nuzzles me, rubs my back, caresses my hair, rocks me backwards and forwards. We didn't say a word. Silence was golden.
We stayed there for what felt like forever, so blissfully unaware of anything happening around us… the bubbling water of the fish tank beside us, the fluid blue glow of the room around us, the colourless song once again flowing through us. We didn't know they were there, and we didn't care. All we knew was that we had each other, that the other person was still in their arms, and that's all we needed to know.
Finally, after what was an eternal, yet unwasted moment, he spoke.
"This is a night I want to remember… not one we would regret… before we throw ourselves into hell… a night to cherish… a wonderful opening into a brilliant relationship… or an amazing memory to remember the other… if one of us doesn't make it…"
"Garrus…"
"You've kept us together… you never gave up on us… you've made us what we are now… you're the reason I'm here, and the reason that I've never felt happier in my life. Thank you, Shepard,"
"…This is perfect, Garrus,"
I couldn't stop smiling. This was it. This was a memory I would treasure for the rest of my life. I didn't want it to end, but if it stopped right now, it would still live on forever in my mind. I never wanted to forget it, and I knew that I wouldn't.
Garrus bent his head, so his mouth was pressed against my ear, and he uttered, in a near-silent whisper.
"We could make it more perfect,"
Electricity coursed through me. I broke away, and stared into his eyes. My eyes widened with shock that was more than the thunder that ran through me. It moved through my heart, and I could feel it thumping furiously in my chest.
"Garrus?"
"I know what happened. I don't want anything like that to happen again, get between us, make it worse. But bear with me. I'll make it work, this time. I won't embarrass. you"
Garrus was invigorated, inspired. There was a sudden change in him. An excited spark. A roaring flame. What was once the nervous turian was gone.
"Are you sure about this?"
"I've never been so sure in my life,"
He places a hand on both of my arms, and holds me there, fixes me in his gaze, before speaking.
"You don't have to do anything, anymore. You don't have to be the only one driving us forwards. I'm ready to take the reins. Let's make a night that will live on after we throw ourselves into oblivion. Trust me,"
Garrus smiles at me, waiting for my approval. He wasn't trembling, there wasn't the faintest quiver in him. I could feel his confidence pulsing out. Something inside him gave me comfort. I smile back.
"I trust you,"
He moves forwards, and he pulls me towards him in his arms, his lips brush against my lips, his nose touches my nose, his forehead rubs against my forehead. Our faces rubbing each other, full of each other.
I place my hands on his waist, and he rests his on my shoulder. I thrust his body closer to myself, until we were an inseparable mass, caressing his every body part that I could.
His hands slid past my shoulders, to my neck. His hands went for the fastenings on my collar. He tries to undo them, once again, his hands tug and pull, to no avail…
As he's about to give up, my head draws back, and I look him in the eyes, worry, yet curiosity in his glance. I smile, and shake my head. My hands depart from his back, and move towards his own, still at my collar, before grasping his wrists in my fingers, and guiding them through the workings of the buttons, teaching him without words the inner intricacies of the fastenings.
He smiles back at me, and I watch as his hands, freshly trained, works through the rest of my clothes, shelving, thrusting them off me and throwing them where they wouldn't get in our way. I continue to slowly caress his body, massage his skin beneath his clothes as he runs his hands down my body.
My hands move towards his collar, and I grab its folds, dragging it upwards and off his head and body. His hands reach up and grasp mine, and together we finally remove his own top, ready to be discarded with the other clothes, until there was nothing left but his muscular, rumbling chest.
Our arms moved lower down, and this time they didn't need instruction, their experiences above had taught enough. We grasped each other's trousers, and moved quickly and fluidly, as where we once failed, we succeeded, as finally we were stepping out of more unnecessary fabric, nearly nothing left in our way.
I eye the bed, neatly arranged and innocently standing by the wall, and I step backwards, holding Garrus's hand in both of mine as I slowly move towards it. Garrus looks me in the eyes, his mandibles vibrating excitedly.
But, as I take another step, I'm forced to a halt, as Garrus doesn't budge. I look at him quizzically, as he holds up a finger, telling me to wait. I carefully follow his movements as his free hand heads for his eye, grasps the scanner wrapped around his head, before discarding it, even more unnecessary waste that would need to go.
He smiles at me, encouraging me to continue, and I once again walk backwards, until the back of my legs strike the bed, and I fall onto it, Garrus quickly following, as he presses his nose onto mine, presses his lips against my own, our eyes staring into each other. I crawl backwards, Garrus crawling after me, until we're both lying across the bed. Me underneath. Garrus above.
His hands head for my bra, wraps his arms around my back, and I can feel his fingers as he delicately manipulates the fastenings around my back, not wanting to damage me as he worked on my garments, so close to my skin.
As I feel it loosen, I shake it off, and Garrus aids me in pull it off and throwing it where everything else was going… except for us.
We move in conjunction, as our arms slide down to both of our waists, to our last hindrance. I hold Garrus's underwear in my hands, and I slowly work to pull it down, off his figure, off his body, and away, as he does the same, his hands brushing against my skin, the gentle fabric and his firm arms rubbing against my legs, as I allow my own final item of clothing to fall off my person and be thrust onto the pile.
Now we were two figures, alone, naked. We were so vulnerable, but we didn't know, we couldn't know, we couldn't be, as we were there in each others' embrace, one eternally watching over the other. My hands manoeuvre over his firm, taut, muscular skin, as his caress my soft, tender body. Our hearts were linked together, pounding against the other's chest in perfect conjunction and rhythm, unable to tell whose was whose, but it didn't matter.
We roll to the side, until Garrus was below me, and my mouth travels over his face, his cheeks, his mandibles, his neck, licking his own chest, not leaving anything behind. I feel his chest pulsing, pounding, breathing in and out, pressing against my face and lips. I hear him groaning, calling my name, making sounds that made my ears tingle and my chest rise.
He grabs me by the arms, and pushes me, until my head was resting on the pillows, perfectly aligned with the bed, and he was back in control, crawling over my body and looking down upon me, both of us panting, crying out silently for more.
His head leans down, and I feel his hot, wet tongue over my breasts, his lips press against my chest, his nose nuzzling my neck, his forehead rubbing against my face. His hands caress my body, stimulate me, bring shocks through every nerve in my body.
I gasp for breath as he pushes the rest of his body into me, presses me down, secures me. My hands run down his shoulders, his chest, his waist, his hips, until I'm rubbing his thighs, electricity flying between us.
Our cheeks brush against each other, rub against each other, as I move an arm to wrap around his neck, my hand placed on the back of his head, my fingers brushing against his fringe. His hands run through my hair, and we gently pull ourselves into each other, further and further, until we were truly united as one.
Against all we were told, we threw caution to the winds, yet we somehow knew that nothing could hurt us, endanger us, bring harm upon the other. Even with the evidence thrust upon us, we couldn't help but dismiss it, laugh at it, as our tender love continued as if nothing could ever be wrong with it.
It all felt so natural, so right. Doubters, haters, we threw spite at them, our feelings too pure, too wonderful for them to possibly be correct. His feet rubbing together with mine, our legs brushing against each other, our chests pressing against each other, two hearts to one being.
His face brushing against my cheek, his mandibles lightly grazing my ear as he uttered sounds that weren't words, noises that wasn't a language. A wild beast howling against me, yet the gentle touch of emotion constantly running through our bodies.
I could hear his every quiet moan, feel his every breath, sense his blood roaring through his body and mine. I felt his body tighten and relax, his breath start to become gasps, his noises of passion against my ears become blazing cries.
He could hold it in no longer, and he lifted his head, roaring out to the whole world that this was us, this was love, and we weren't ashamed to yell our feelings to every living being in the galaxy, even if they yelled back. His body contracted, my body froze, he continued to gasp for breath as I try to catch mine. We stayed there for what seemed like hours, but it was finally over.
Finally, he collapsed by my side, his pants becoming steady breaths, his movements reserved, calm. We stared into each other's eyes, and our mutual feelings flew through each other by this simple connection. I placed my palm against his warm cheek, and he placed his hand upon mine.
I move forwards, my eyes starting to droop, and I wrapped my arm against his chest, as he wrapped his around my body, and we were soon fast asleep, in each others' arms.
***
I rolled to the side, and my eyes slowly opened. I saw a blue figure standing on a perch on the wall. EDI.
"Shepard, we are due to arrive in half an hour. Have you finished your preparations?"
I was enraged. How much did she see? Was she watching us all the time? Joker was telling the truth, this was an intrusive, annoying being. I moved my arm to thrust myself out of the bed, until I realised I was being held back.
Something intertwined itself in my hair, and started to twirl it. I looked down, and saw an arm that wasn't mine around my abdomen. I felt three fingers stroking my head.
I turn around, and true enough, Garrus was still there, awake just before I came to. He smiles at me, and I smile back. My indignation at EDI had washed away, quickly replaced by feelings of happiness. Everything that happened last night flashed before my eyes, and it all felt so much more glorious. Words couldn't describe it. And words weren't needed.
I snuggle closer towards Garrus, and for a few moments more, we cuddled.