Paragraph Breaks

It has come to the attention of Lord Aizen that many have taken it upon themselves to write of the exploits (both real and imagined) of himself and his loyal subjects. These writings, however, are often lacking in rudimentary grammar. Seeing this, Lord Aizen has requested that we, his loyal Espada, offer our assistance in correcting these errors. Although it is not my place to speak before those of the Espada of higher rank, all were content to allow me, Lord Aizen's humble 4th, to go first.

To begin, it would seem that many are confused with the simple matter of paragraph breaks, most particularly when someone is speaking. Allow me to present an example of such an erroneous paragraph:

Grimmjow cringed as Aizen spoke. "Why me?" asked the cerulean-haired Espada. "Because you are ruthless, Grimmjow." "Yeah, but why not him?" He pointed at the noirette who stood to one side of the room.

For purposes of this example, I will ignore the fact that so many writers choose to differentiate us on the basis of hair-color - a practice which I find inefficient, seeing that we do not each have unique hair colors - and shall speak only of the inappropriate lack of paragraph breaks.

Grimmjow: *Snickers.* You wouldn't be saying that about hair color, if you didn't have the same color hair as Nnoitra, would you?

Ulquiorra: Many Arrancar have black hair. It is hardly a useful means of identification.

Grimmjow: Only for schmucks like you that have no originality.

Returning to the subject at hand, a basic rule to remember is that a new paragraph should be introduced when a new character is speaking. If the writer is describing the mood or actions of a character in a single, brief sentence, then he or she may wish to keep said sentence at the start of the paragraph with the character's speech. However, speech should not come at the end of a lengthy paragraph, unless it also begins with speech, nor should extensive non-speech follow dialogue in the same paragraph.

Aizen: Ulquiorra, you may be making this a little more complicated than is necessary. We aren't here to train professional writers.

Ulquiorra: *Bows.* Yes, Lord Aizen. I apologize. I will attempt to practice brevity.

Grimmjow: Yeah, do that. (Whatever the f- "brevity" is.)

A more correct way of writing the above paragraph would be as follows:

Grimmjow cringed as Lord Aizen addressed him. "Why me, my lord?" he asked.

"Because you are ruthless, Grimmjow."

"But why not one more capable, such as him?" He indicated his superior colleague who stood to one side of the room.

Grimmjow: Hey! You totally changed it!

Ulquiorra: That's the point; I corrected it.

Grimmjow: No, you changed it. You made me sound like ... like you!

Ulquiorra: I improved it.

Grimmjow: You can't just rewrite what someone else wrote! That's ... that's ... copying someone else's work!

Ulquiorra: Plagiarism?

Grimmjow: Yeah, that! And if you do that, you definitely can't change it!

Ulquiorra: ...

Aizen: Grimmjow, perhaps you'd like to take the next chapter and correct grammar yourself?

Grimmjow: *Cringes.* Nah, I'll pass.

Author's Note: This was just a little thought I had for fun. I have a few other similar chapters in mind. If you enjoyed it and/or have questions or suggestions for the Espada to cover, please leave a review and let me know. Also, I do plan to finish "Purpose", but the next chapter is being a real pain.