None of this belongs to me. The actors belong to themselves, and Harry Potter etc. belong to JK Rowling. I'm merely borrowing them for this short story.
Dan slowly opened his heavy eyelids before quickly slamming them shut again as a bolt of pain flashed through his head. The last thing he could remember was turning down a quiet street before a cloth clamped over his mouth and he passed out.
He tried opening his eyes again, bright light seeped through and caused his head to throb again, not so bad this time, and his eyes gradually focussed. He was in a pretty normal room. Four walls, a roof, a carpet (a sickly green he noted), and a sinister looking figure staring stonily at him from the corner.
Dan did a double take. There was something wrong with the room.
His brain finally woke up and focused on the figure. He (or she, could have been either but he settled for he) was dressed in a light absorbing black cowl which seemed dreadfully familiar.
He groaned.
"Please tell me this isn't some kind of sick joke."
The figure pulled back his hood to reveal a pale face which bore merely the semblance of a nose and distinctly snake like eyes.
Dan's mouth fell open as he gawped. Standing before him in full make-up was Ralph Fiennes!
His eyebrows knitted in confusion.
"Hang on, I thought casting wasn't - what am I doing HERE?"
Dan stood up with the final word, a little unsteadily but upright all the same.
"What on earth is going on Ralph? Look, I need to call home, where's the phone?"
He looked expectantly at the man. He could hear him filling his lungs before answering slowly.
"Harry, Harry, Harry. Don't you think it's time to give up the pretence now? There's no one here to save you. Just you and I, and what -fun- we shall have"
Dan's eyes widened and he stepped back.
"Th-that's not funny Ralph! Stop it, stop it now. Hello? Anyone!"
The figure rolled his eyes, a very disconcerting gesture for snake like slits to make, as he called for someone.
Rushed footsteps were heard pattering closer before the door to the room flew open and a short little man burst in. Dan made a mental note of this. The door either had no lock, or a lock was unnecessary.
"Yes master?"
"I believe young Harry is still labouring under false pretences and requires encouragement"
The man grinned back, revealing a mouth of sharp yellowed teeth, and quickly bobbed his head before scuttling out again.
"What's going on! This is ridiculous, if this is some kind of method acting, it's not funny!"
Dan looked about helplessly. The single window in the room showed the top of a tree and was ruled out as an escape exit for Dan was no stunt man. The only way out it seemed was the door and Dan still had no idea where he was or what time it was.
Footsteps were heard again outside, heavier, slower footsteps this time and the door was once again flung open. The short man was back, this time dragging a blonde headed boy under the arms. He dragged him to the centre of the room before letting him slump to the ground where the boy let out a painful moan.
Ralph took two short strides towards the boy and drew out a stick from his robes.
"Ralph, this is ridiculous. Where am I?"
Dan asked in a frustrated voice. This whole scene was decidedly twisted and he wanted to get as far away as possible.
The man looked at him and smiled, his lips drawing back to reveal pointed incisors. Dan recoiled.
"Crucio!"
The blonde convulsed his back straightening violently as his eyes rolled back.
"Tom? TOM! Stop it! That's very good, I'm sure the director will love it, but please, stop!" Dan pleaded with the boy as he writhed on the floor.
He finally stilled and Dan glared directly at Ralph.
"I don't know what your game -" Dan began but was interrupted.
"That's quite enough. You and I both know this is no...game" The man spat the last word out with distaste.
"It was a very clever ploy I'll give you that. Pretending to impersonate yourself, not your own idea I presume. Just the type of thing that interfering fool Dumbledore would concoct..." He chuckled "but not anymore."
The smirk on the man's face sent a shiver down Dan's spine.
"Convinced all those muggles that I was merely...a fictional character. A big, bad baddy to be defeated eh? I know some of them have even nick-named me 'Voldy'. Can you believe that? Me, the heir of Slytherin, the man who's very name strikes fear into the hearts of all wizards, nick-named...'Voldy'"
The short man shook his head in disgust behind the dark figure.
"Muggles revolt me" He paused, as if lost in his thoughts. Perhaps entertaining a newly inspired torture method.
"But as for you, give up this pretence so that I can kill you as you really are. A second rate wizard, cowering before the mighty Lord Voldemort!"
Dan's draw dropped further if it was possible.
"You're off your head! I'm Daniel Radcliffe, the ACT- TOR? You know, in the films? Do you know what F-I-C-T-I-O-N means? Not real, made up. I don't know who you are, you're obviously not Ralph...you must be obsessed fans and you'll be lucky if I don't press charges. Now let. Me. Go!"
Dan folded his arms and looked expectantly.
The self titled "Lord Voldemort" (whom Dan had now decided to call Voldy at every possible opportunity) smirked and pointed his "wand" at the figure on the floor.
"CRUCIO!" He yelled.
Once again Tom, or, as Dan mentally corrected, the Draco fan, writhed and convulsed across the carpet. Small welts could be seen rising on his arm as he rolled and Dan's stomach turned. He had a -very- bad feeling about this. 'Draco' was doing an awfully good impression of being in impossible agony for an amateur.
He started forward.
"Uh, uh, uh, uh" Voldemort tsked. "You must watch this. I will continue this until you concede that you are really Harry Potter."
"But I'm not!" Dan cried "Can't you see that! What's wrong with him?"
He tried once again to draw closer to the boy.
Voldemort ceased the torture and turned his wand upon Dan.
"Draco will bear it because -I- Say he will. Draco must learn what betrayal means"
He kicked the prone boy at this point but elicited barely any response.
"Betrayal? What do you mean? Leave him alone!"
"Why my dear boy, what did you think would happen after you published the details of darling Dumbledore's death? Did you think Draco's hesitance would go unnoticed?"
Dan stared at him in shock.
"You're crazy, completely crazy. You all are!!"
He made a dash for the door, his arm outstretched, ready to grab the door knob when he heard the words 'Avada Kedavra' and a sickly green light filled the room.
This was just something silly that came to me during my revision. My brain likes to help by doing this to me…
Please read and review, every one is appreciated!
Edit: Changed the last line