Come on, join the dark side!
A little one shot that inspired me to actually do something with myself, YAY!
Disclaimer: last time I checked I owned nothing, glad to see nothing's changed
"Come on, join the dark side." Malak tempted, rather badly.
"No." Bastila said with a sigh, this was the worst torture she had ever faced, conversation with Lord Malak.
"Come on it's easy."
"No."
"We have cookies."
"No."
"I'll give you badass robes and super powers."
"No, Malak."
"Please."
"No"
"Double please."
"No"
"Triple please."
"No"
"Please with a cherry on top?"
"No."
"I'll give you a battle fleet."
"No"
A short silence then Malak asked tentatively, "Do you want some male porno?"
"What! NO! Why do you even have that!
"It's not for me; it's for all the female NPCs while they wait to get killed by Revan."
"Malak, you are a gross, perverted man."
"I told you, IT'S NOT MINE!"
"Okay, okay calm down I was only curious."
"Okay fine, will you join the darkside?"
"Why?"
"Why, because we're bad asses, we go around, take names and chew bubble gum. Oh yeah and we watch UFC." Malak said boastingly.
"MMA is way better, that's why the jedi are better." Bastila fired back, much to Malak's anger.
"Are you freakin serious, that show is so fake, they probably don't even know how to wrestle." Malak growled.
"So? The UFC fighters only hit each other like girls." Bastila said with a smirk at Malak's anger.
"Liddell would own John whats-his-name."
"You are gravely mistaken; you're just a girl after all."
"You sexist pig, when I get out of here, I'll kill you."
"Yes, use your aggressive feelings girl!"
"You've been watching episode Six haven't you?" Bastila asked.
"For sixteen straight hours," Malak boasted
"Let me guess, your high on coffee?"
"Bingo." Their was another awkward silence.
"So, have you seen E3?" Bastila asked randomly.
"Yeah, New Vegan will pwn." Malak replied.
"Call of Duty is way better." Bastila declared.
"No way! New Vegas will screw Black Ops right off the curb." Malak said angrily.
"Then you're an idiot, Malak." Malak growled but didn't take the bait. Their was a long silence until Bastila suddenly said, "Okay, I'll join you now." Malak immediately brightened.
"You really mean it?"
"Yep, just let me down from here." Malak immediately did so, but unfortunately as soon as she was free Bastila turned and punched Malak in the stomach, making him double over. "That," she said, "was for making me watch Barnie you jerk!"