It's like something out of a horrible dream, Invader Zim characters are not mine! They're not! But they are so much fun to mess with! MADNESS!
Gaz And The Horrible Nightmare
It all started when Gaz and Dib were watching television. "Now News Entertainment This Moment presents the latest in scandal! Scandal! Scandal!" The announcer said.
"Hey what happened to the evening news?" Dib raised an eyebrow.
"This is the evening news," Gaz said. "They decided that the ratings would be better if they just talked about sluts and boozed up celebrity morons instead of what's really going on in the world."
"Tonight! The newest scandal to hit the airwaves today! Love! Lust! And Science! What famous celebrity scientist was spotted around town with this gaggle of lovely ladies?" Several shots were shown of a certain someone having a good time.
"Gaz! That boozed up celebrity moron is Dad!" Dib yelled as he pointed to the television.
"What?" Gaz yelled.
"Now NETM asks the questions that no one has thought of asking whether they were obvious or not," The announcer said. "Why would a respected scientist go out on the town with several beautiful women at the same time? And is one of them carrying his love child?"
"Say what?" Gaz shouted.
"Wait a minute, you know how these shows get all their facts wrong," Dib tried to calm her down. "Maybe he's talking about us?"
"And I'm not talking about either Dib or Gaz," The announcer said. "Is there another child of Doctor Membrane out there? To find out we go to this press release that was recorded this afternoon!"
"I've called this press conference to address some troubling rumors and put them to rest. Read my lips…"Doctor Membrane began as he stood at a podium in front of several reporters.
"We can't! Your lab coat covers them up!" A reporter called out. "Seriously, between that and your goggles we can't see your face at all."
"I did not, and I repeat, did not…" Membrane went on. "Flood the Empire State Building with plutonium waste! That was not me! That was done by some jerk who has no respect for science!"
"Uh…" A reporter blinked. "That's not what we wanted to ask."
"And I had nothing to do with those defective robots that are running wild in Belgium!" Membrane went on. "I don't care what that prime minister or whatever the hell they call the guy in charge of that country is saying!"
"Actually…" Another reporter said.
"And there is no way I am responsible for all those holes in the ozone layer! I don't care what that quack Doctor Motlos says!" Membrane snapped. "He's just jealous because I have been Scientist of the Year seven years running and the only thing he's ever won is second place in a pig breeding competition!"
"Doctor Membrane! We don't care about any of that!" A reporter snapped. "We want to know if you've been sleeping around with anyone."
"Oh that I did," Membrane nodded. "Yeah I admit to that."
"How many women have you been with?" The reporter asked.
"Oh I dunno…Kind of lost track after two or three dozen. You know how those scientific conventions are," Membrane lightly chuckled. "But there's no truth that there's a chance that I've impregnated some lab assistant."
"Memy! My water broke!" A female yelled backstage.
"That concludes this press conference," Membrane gulped. "Uh if there are any obstetricians in the building please come with me!"
"MEMY!"
"And she's not a lab assistant! She's a very nice girl who just happens to like dancing around poles!" Membrane fled backstage.
"You think we might have another brother or sister in the future?" Dib blinked. Gaz hit him on the head. "Ow! I was just asking a question!"
"A stupid question!" Gaz snapped. "Which seems to be the only kind you're capable of asking!"
"Uh hi kids," Doctor Membrane walked in. "What's new?"
"Dad? What's going on?" Gaz stood up and put her hands on her hips. "You have a lot of explaining to do!"
"Oh well uh kids, you know sometimes Daddies get lonely…" Doctor Membrane fiddled with his fingers. "And they go out and meet people and sometimes when they meet people they do…uh, adult things. And sometimes stupid condoms which are supposed to be very effective don't work. Which is really a manufacturer's fault…"
"Stop right there! Too much information!" Gaz held up her hand.
"To make a long story short…" Membrane gulped. A perky blonde woman in a tight pink outfit walked in. "Kids, meet your new stepmother…Kandy. Spelled with a K."
"You have got to be kidding me," Gaz glared at her new mother.
"Hi kids! I'm your new mommy!" Kandy was very perky indeed. "We're going to have such fun living together! And Gaz I'm going to buy you brand new outfits all in pink so we can match! We'll be twins!"
"You have got to be kidding me!" Gaz started to get a tick in her face.
"Hi Mom! I'm Dib! I'm a paranormal investigator and I'm currently hunting aliens that want to take over the planet!" Dib said cheerfully.
"Aliens! I believe in aliens too!" Kandy squealed.
"Really?" Dib perked up his ears.
"Yes I do! They're always sneaking around trying to take over the planet in disguise!" Kandy nodded.
"They are!" Dib yelled.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Gaz slapped her forehead.
"Ooh! I can't wait to spend hours listening to your theories about aliens!" Kandy squealed. "And we can teach the babies all about aliens too!"
"Babies?" Gaz did a double take. "This just gets worse by the minute!"
"Kids, meet your new baby brothers!" Kandy pulled out a bassinet with two babies inside. Both babies looked exactly like Dib right down to the hair and glasses.
"Wow! They're cute!" Dib squealed. "I'm going to hug them and love them and teach them how to fight aliens and take pictures of Bigfoot and become real paranormal investigators! Just like me! And then we'll all go on mysterious adventures to research the unknown and fight Zim! Won't that be fun?"
Both infants looked up at them. "ALIENS!" They chirped.
"Their first word! Oh this is great!" Dib squealed.
"This is a nightmare!" Gaz could not believe what was happening. "TWO MORE DIBS?"
"Uh actually according to some recent paternity suits" Membrane gulped. The doorbell rang. "Gaz could you get the door? That should be the rest of them."
"Rest of them? As in there are more?" Gaz was stunned.
"Uh yes…" Membrane coughed. "Just get the door please."
Gaz walked to the door as the doorbell rang again. Tentatively she opened the door. Behind it was a mountain of Dib Babies. "GAZZY! PLAY ALIEN HUNTER WITH US!" They cried out as one.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Gaz screamed. The Dib Babies fell down on top of her.
"ALIENS! ALIENS! ALIENS! ALIENS!" The Dib Babies squealed as they covered Gaz's entire body.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Gaz shot up from the couch kicking and screaming. She looked around. "Dibs! Dibs everywhere! No more Dibs!"
She looked around wildly, even checking under the seat cushions. "Oh it was just a stupid dream…" Gaz breathed out a sigh of relief. "A stupid horrible dream!"
"Tonight! Another famous sports star has been caught with another slew of mistresses! Burt Candlepin, famous bowler has been having affairs with several women…" The TV show went on.
"I have got to stop watching those stupid entertainment news shows," Gaz shuddered. "They're rotting my brain!"
"Hey Gaz, I want to watch Mysterious Mysteries…" Dib walked in preparing for a fight for the TV.
"Here! Change the channel quick! Put it on! Put it on now!" Gaz gave him the channel changer.
Dib didn't press his luck. "Okay. Cool! They're doing a special on the Bigfoot Vampire Wars!"
"Ah good…" Gaz breathed a sigh of relief. "Nice normal stuff…"
"Gaz are you okay?" Dib asked. "You usually can't stand this show."
"Let's just say I realized there are worse things on TV," Gaz shuddered. She gave Dib a strange look. "Wait a second…How many of you are there?"
"Uh just one," Dib blinked. Gaz hit him on the shoulder. "OW! What was that for?"
"To remind you that there's only so much Dib I can tolerate and one is enough!" Gaz snarled. "I am not going to have any more stupid brothers so if you screw up and get me another brother I am going to pound you! If I get another one it's your fault! Got it?"
"Wait, how can you getting another brother be my fault?" Dib shouted.
"I don't know. But if there was a way for it to be your fault you would find it!" Gaz snapped.
"Kids! I'm home!" Membrane was heard in the kitchen.
"On the other hand…" Gaz thought. "No sense in taking chances…" She stormed into the kitchen. "DAD! We need to talk!"
"Of course Gaz. I have forty seven seconds before I…YEOWWWWW!" Membrane screamed in pain. "GAZ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Making sure I never have any more stupid brothers!" Gaz screamed.
"Gaz! I am your father and you do not attack your father!" Membrane screamed. "ESPECIALLY THERE!"
"What the…?" Dib went to watch what was happening. He was horrified. "Yikes! That's one way to get grounded."
"Young lady we are going to have a serious talk about your anger issues! YEOWWW!" Membrane screamed. "STOP HURTING ME! OWWW!"
"NO MORE BROTHERS! IF YOU THINK I'M RAISING ANOTHER DIB YOU HAVE ANOTHER THINK COMING!" Gaz screamed.
"I will never understand my sister as long as I live," Dib blinked.