Rey stood in front of the large wooden double-doors, clutching the handle of her violin case as if her life depended on it. She could already feel her palms starting to sweat.
It's just a community orchestra, for heaven's sake, she told herself firmly. You didn't even have to audition. And no one here will know who you are, anyway, so…
She took a deep breath and pushed open the door. The familiar sounds washed over her immediately, bringing back a wave of nostalgia—the light chatter, the discordant hum and murmur of various instruments being tuned, musicians warming up their fingers with scales and arpeggios. She thought she even caught the faint scent of rosin dust in the air.
The floorboards creaked under her feet as Rey made her way slowly over toward the violin section. She had hoped that the conductor would be there already, but it didn't look like he'd arrived yet. She'd never met him in person, but he had seemed friendly enough in the emails they had exchanged the week before, even insisting she call him "Luke" instead of "Maestro Skywalker" as she'd initially addressed him.
None of the other violinists paid much attention to her, too absorbed in their own conversations and warm-ups to notice a new face. She was half-considering abandoning the whole idea and sprinting for the door when she heard a gentle voice behind her.
"Rey?"
She turned around. The man behind her was only a few inches taller than she was, with gray-streaked blonde hair, a neatly trimmed beard, and what Rey could only describe as startlingly blue eyes. He smiled brightly, tucking a stack of scores under his arm so he could reach out to shake her hand.
"I'm Luke," he said. "Welcome to the group—it's great to finally meet you in person."
Rey mumbled a quick "thank you" as he let go of her hand, hoping he hadn't noticed how damp her palms were.
"Why don't you take a seat with Jessika over there in the 2nd violins for tonight?" said Luke. "I'll listen to you play after rehearsal and we can figure out the best place for you then."
Rey's stomach flipped. "I...listen to me play? I didn't think I had to audition for this."
"Oh, you don't—you're definitely in the orchestra, no need to worry about that. I just like to get a sense of which section you might be most comfortable in so I can arrange the seating to play to everyone's strengths. I'm sorry if I forgot to mention it in my email. You're welcome to wait until next week if you don't have anything prepared."
"No, that's okay," said Rey. "Honestly, I'd rather get it over with."
Luke smiled again, his eyes sparkling. "Fair enough," he said. "Come see me right after rehearsal and we'll get it taken care of."
He turned and headed up toward the front of the room, and Rey found the seat he had directed her to. A dark-haired woman close to Rey's own age sat in the chair next to it, rummaging through a folder of music.
"Jessika?" Rey asked.
The woman looked up. "Hmm?"
"I'm Rey," she said, sitting down a little hesitantly. "It looks like I'm your temporary stand partner for tonight. Luke asked me to sit here until he decides on a permanent spot for me."
Jessika's face lit up. "Great!" she said. "Rose is home sick with the flu tonight and I hate playing at a stand by myself. Have you been in an orchestra like this before?"
"It's...been a while," said Rey. "I hope I'm not too rusty."
"I'm sure you'll be fine," said Jessika. "I hadn't played since high school when I first joined, and I still managed okay." She lowered her voice and leaned in closer. "So...what do you think of him?"
"What do I think of who?"
"Luke. Gorgeous, right? He never talks about his personal life, but Rose and I have a bet going—she thinks he's happily married with three kids and a dog, but I'm convinced music is the only thing he really loves. No wedding ring, see?"
Rey merely nodded, slightly embarrassed to admit she had already noticed.
"He's an absolute genius—you know he used to conduct the Chicago Symphony, like, twenty years ago? He was their youngest conductor ever. You don't manage that kind of success without complete commitment to your work."
"The Chicago Symphony?" said Rey. "What is he doing directing a community orchestra with a background like that?"
"No one knows. Personally I think it just makes him all the more attractive—mysterious, you know? I'd give anything to—"
Rey never found out just what Jessika would give anything to do, because at that moment Luke called out for their attention to begin the rehearsal. She pulled her case onto her lap and opened it, running her fingers gently over the smooth wood and strings of her violin. It had been so long...would she still remember anything?
She stumbled through sightreading the first piece, a Beethoven overture, her fingers stiff and sluggish. Halfway through the Mahler symphony, she started to catch more of the notes, and though her arms and wrists ached, she was finally beginning to feel comfortable when Luke brought the rehearsal to a close an hour and a half later.
Rey said goodbye to Jessika, then walked up to the front of the room to wait for Luke, who was checking a passage in the score with the oboe player. She tried her best not to stare, but after talking with Jessika it was hard not to notice just how attractive Luke really was. She guessed he was in his early fifties, but he was clearly in good shape, and the hint of gray in his hair suited him. But even more than that, there was an overwhelming kindness in his eyes and smile that Rey found beautiful. For a brief moment, she felt strangely jealous of the oboe player, the way he talked and laughed with Luke like an old friend as they looked over the score together.
But the feeling passed quickly, and soon the oboe player walked away, leaving Rey alone in front of Luke. He looked up at her with a smile.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Do you want an honest answer?" said Rey.
"Always," he said seriously.
"Then no, I'm not. But let's do it anyway."
He laughed. "An honest answer if ever there was one. Let's go to my office—that way you won't have to worry about anyone else overhearing. Sound okay?"
Rey nodded and followed him out of the room and down the hallway. He stopped in front of a narrow door at the end of the hall and pulled a set of keys out of his pocket.
"Don't be too impressed," he said. "The community center isn't set up to have much in the way of office space, so this is little more than a glorified broom closet." He pushed the door open and shoved aside a crate of sheet music with his foot. "At least it gives me a place to keep scores so they don't clutter up my apartment. Please, come in."
He held the door open for her as she slipped past him into the office. It was small, but in a comfortable sort of way. He had a desk tucked into one corner, and an oversized chair and lamp on the opposite wall. The remaining wall space was crowded with bookshelves and file cabinets, all filled to the brim with sheet music and books. She scanned the titles of the books on the shelf nearest her—they were mostly biographies of famous composers. A few shelves down was a row of books on music theory and conducting.
"Have you actually read all of these?" she asked.
"Most of them, yes," said Luke. "Some more than once. Does that make it sound like I don't have much of a life, or what?"
Rey laughed. "A little," she said. "But I understand. Most of my apartment is full of books, too."
"We'll have to compare reading tastes sometime," he said. "Feel free to just set your case anywhere. Do you need a music stand?"
"No, I don't have the music with me. We'll see how much of this I can still do from memory—it's been a few years."
"Take your time," he said. "And remember, no pressure whatsoever—I'm just a casual listener. Close your eyes if you like. Pretend I'm not even here."
Rey pulled her violin out of the case and settled it on her shoulder, the weight and shape of it already feeling familiar again. It was almost as if she'd never stopped playing. As if the last five years had meant nothing.
She brought her hand up to touch the strings, trying to slow her racing thoughts. Thinking wasn't going to help her now. The music was in her fingers, not her mind. Setting her bow to the string, she took a deep breath and started to play.
It was all still there—every note, every shift, every emotion slid from her fingertips as if she had practiced it only yesterday. It wasn't perfect, but even with the occasional stumble she managed to lose herself in the music to the point that it was almost a surprise when she came to the end of the movement. The silence that met her as she released the final note was unnerving. She didn't want to open her eyes.
"Rey...that was…"
She looked up and found Luke staring at her, eyes wide. He sat back in his chair and shook his head, seemingly at a loss for words.
"That was...incredible."
Rey felt her cheeks grow warm, and there was an uncomfortable twinge in the pit of her stomach.
"The Barber concerto has always been one of my favorites," said Luke, "but I've never heard it played quite like that before. Rey...our concertmaster moved to California last season, and I've been looking for someone to replace him. Would you be willing to…?"
"I can't," said Rey quickly. "I mean...I don't think I can handle that responsibility right now. I'm sorry."
"That's all right, I understand. Would you consider 2nd chair? I could really use someone with your skill to help lead the section."
"I...I don't know. Could I think about it?"
"Of course, please do," he said. "Just send me an email when you've made your decision."
"I will."
"And Rey...if you change your mind about the concertmistress position, the offer still stands. I'd be honored to have you."