A/N: Okay, I have no idea how this came to be. I hope it'll come across the way I want it to, but one can never be too sure ;) I'm just hoping Rachel doesn't seem too OOC here...
This is set (very) soon after the end of Furt; the italicised sentences are from the Duets episode (and are therefore a flashback of sorts). Anyway, hopefully you'll enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters.
Gone. He was gone now. Karofsky was coming back and that meant that McKinley was no longer safe for Kurt. So now, he'd left. He was going to go to Dalton – their competition for Sectionals.
She knew that she'd sounded pretty heartless when she'd asked about that, but she couldn't help it. That was how she rolled. As they should know by now.
It made her sick in the stomach just thinking about it. Sure, Kurt had made more nasty comments about her sweaters and general clothing choice than the rest of the world put together, he had tried sabotaging her relationship with Finn too many times to count, and he was nearly always fighting her for a solo. But she had meant what she'd said, a month earlier – the two of them were far more alike than they thought. And they were actually getting along better, ever since their duet. No matter what Finn had done – or rather, hadn't done, she thought spitefully – about the bullying, she had been the one to notice that Kurt wasn't coping as well as he used to. She had urged the other girls to tell their boyfriends to stick up for him, and it had sort of helped, she liked to think.
So it made her sick to think that he was gone, that he'd just left like that and was never coming back – alright, that last bit might be a little overdramatic, but that was who she was. Even Jesse – why was she thinking about him now? – one of the most dramatic people she'd ever met, had told her this, so it was bound to be true.
But she didn't feel nauseous just because he was leaving, or even because he might just be competing against them at Sectionals (if the Warblers would let him join so shortly before the competition, of course). She felt like it was her fault. She felt like she'd jinxed it all, shortly after telling him how alike they truly were.
"We're gonna win Nationals this year. And you know how we're gonna do that? Because we have you."
"That's true."
She couldn't really be bothered, for possibly the first time in her life, that they might not win a competition now. She felt like he was being punished for what she'd told him. Because she had said it out loud. Yes, they might have won Nationals because of him, but she had jinxed it by talking about it.
Sure, this probably meant that she'd jinxed the Nationals win, but in order for that to happen, Kurt had to go. And now he had, indeed, left.
Would the bullying – which had caused him to leave – have been less severe if she hadn't said that? She didn't know if she believed in fate, but this was more than a little freaky. If only she could go back in time to prevent herself from saying those words to him. Maybe he would still be here.
Maybe he wouldn't.
But she still felt like she'd jinxed it. And she felt horrible because of it.
A/N: So... what do you think? :) Let me know, please leave me a review! :)