As the hammer slammed violently forward, Garrus felt his throat constrict. Great, shit was already going downhill. Filing out of the vehicle behind the others, Garrus had to grit his teeth when he saw the distance still left to be travelled. The pillars loomed above them, the beam reaching farther than they could see, yet it still looked so far away.
This was it. Their final push. His eyes flew to Shepard, watching as her gaze met his. God, she looked beautiful. Her blonde hair, normally gleaming in its 'pixie-cut' style (as she'd called it once, what a strange name for a hairstyle), was now matted to her head in sweat and grime, the dirt and slight traces of blood caked to her armor and face. But she couldn't have looked more perfect. Against the blue light of the beam, her skin looked like it could glow itself, her brown eyes shining even in the dim of the night sky.
Her eyes flickered to something he didn't recognize before pulling back to her usual Commander stare, her jaw setting as she turned and made her way to the precipice of the cliff, releasing her rifle from its holster on her back.
They had no time. They had said their goodbyes. Garrus fought the urge to grab her hand once more, to at least say something, but was cut short as the Earth shook beneath their feet, the blare of a reaper deafening their crew. His eyes grew wide.
"We've gotta move!" Anderson screamed above the chaos.
"Come on!" Shepard called in return, and Garrus felt his world tie violently to her. She was about to run into hell, and he would follow her there. He grabbed his rifle as well, preparing the muscles in his body for the fastest sprint he could manage. There was no other option. He had to stay by her side.
The world turned into a swirling mass as the ground team took off running, Shepard and Anderson leading as the tanks rolled beside them. Garrus pushed is legs faster than they had ever managed, but he still fell a few yards behind her, his armor weighing down his run. He urged himself to go faster. He had to catch up. His muscles screamed as they made their downward slope to the beam.
The reapers fired. Troops fell, screaming, left and right. He dodged a nearby beam, nearly stumbling as Shepard almost got hit. A tank exploded to their left. Ashley wasn't far behind, her heavy breathing somewhere to his right. His eyes kept on Shepard. They didn't have much farther…
The reaper blared again, and suddenly red was the only thing he could see. Pain flared through his body as he felt the edges of his armor burn, and he screamed out in shock and pain as his vision turned to white.
Guess I'll be buying the first round, Shepard.
Shepard…
The name suddenly jolted him from whatever dream he'd just fallen into. He opened his eyes heavily and was met with blue light. Where the hell was he? The med bay? No, the lights weren't white enough. Maybe he'd overslept.
He turned his head, expecting his usual cotton pillow to meet his face, but was met by a sickeningly sharp pain along his side, every muscle in his body protesting as his plates and armor scraped against hard concrete. Where –
"Shepard," he rasped out as realization hit him, his conscious finally taking in the screams that echoed around him, the radio in his earpiece crackling as his bleary vision took in the dark sky.
"God…they're all gone," an accented voice broke through his haze. Coats?
It took all he could to push his muscles far enough to roll over, and he allowed himself a pained cry as his cracked ribs pushed against the hard ground. His consciousness threatened to topple over into darkness once more but he pushed it back. Looking up, the world spun and he clenched his eyes shut again. It all hurt so damn much.
"Did we get anyone to the beam?" another voice cried out above the static.
Garrus held his breath a moment before Coats' reply finally came. "Negative. Our entire force was decimated."
No…Shepard…
That couldn't be right. He was alive, right? Shepard had to be, too. She had to be.
His eyes lifted once more, trying to make out any sign of the bright blonde hair amongst the blurry wreckage. A wave of nausea hit him, forcing him fully to the ground once more, before he lifted his arm across the ground. Finding leverage on a jagged piece of concrete, he lifted himself as far as he could off the ground, again searching for his companion.
"Shepard," he tried to call out, but his voice could hardly sustain a murmur. He blinked, trying to get his vision to consolidate into one firm image, when he finally caught sight of the familiar blonde hair. He sighed. At least she was on her feet.
Something wasn't right though. Even in his confused state, he could see the heavy weight she put on one leg, the disturbingly slow pace she took, the glint of dark liquid against her normally bright skin.
"It's too much. We need to regroup. Fall back to the buildings…" Coats again.
No! No, damn it! Shepard needed help, didn't anyone see that?
"Hammer's wiped out. All forces…retreat."
Damn it! If no one was going to help Shepard, he would. It was his job, after all. He had to have her six. He'd promised her. He had goddamn promised her.
Gripping the tallest ledge of the broken concrete he could, he tried to lift himself up only to be met with even worse pain than before. He cried out again, his vision darkening. But he couldn't give up. Not on her. He had to be there for her. They had to do this together.
He'd nearly managed to gain some purchase beneath his feet, only to be met with the sickening feeling of the ground meeting his face once more. No, he had to keep trying. He couldn't give up.
His breathing felt heavier. Was the beam getting darker? It felt like he couldn't see. Terrified, he looked to the beam only to watch Shepard stumble through the light and disappear.
Looking skyward, Garrus suddenly felt strangely empty as he felt the miles between him and his fragile human grow. His heart ached as his muscles finally gave way beneath him and his vision darken.
Come back to me, little human.
"You did good, child. You did good. I'm proud of you."
Shepard clenched her eyes shut, her lips pursing. Damnit, she'd never cried in a battle before, she wasn't about to start. Her weary eyes looked to the Earth, committing the words to memory. Here they were, at the end of all they'd worked so hard for. And hopefully, the start of a new beginning.
Shepard sighed. "Thank you, sir." When she got no response, her eyes turned, already filling with tears once more. "Anderson?"
His head resting against his chest, Anderson looked as though he'd stopped for a well-deserved moment of rest. Her eyes surveyed him, noticing the stillness in his chest, and sighed, closing her eyes once more. Rest easy, my friend.
For a moment, for a brief and terrifying moment, she envied him. Everything hurt, so much. She could hardly feel her legs. Her lungs were on fire. Her face and arms and legs and everything else felt like a bloodied and battered mess. For that one awful instant, she wished that she could rest just as easily.
'Come back alive, it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you.'
As her hand clenched in pain – more than one kind – she felt her own blood slick between her fingers. Garrus. She had to get back, for Garrus. She couldn't make it this damn far and leave him alone. Hell, if for nothing else than because she had to make sure he didn't drown in the bureaucracy their victory would bring.
"Shepard. Commander!" Hackett's voice suddenly crackled through her earpiece.
Something wasn't right. The crucible hadn't fired yet. Had she missed something? "I," she gasped out, the pain suddenly doubling over as she attempted to sit up, "What do you need me to do?"
Rolling over onto her side, she pushed her way shakily to her knees, trying to stand fully to her feet but slamming painfully back onto the ground.
Garrus, I'm coming back...
Deserting any ideas of regaining her footing, Shepard agonizingly dragged herself along, her vision hazing as she neared the console.
"Nothing's happening. The Crucible isn't firing. It's got to be something on your end," Hackett pushed again.
She couldn't reach the console like this. Pushing herself to her knees once more, she had to struggle to keep her hands from sliding out beneath her from the warm slick of blood that covered them.
We'll have all the kids you want, Garrus. I just have to finish this…
She heard Hackett's voice call to her again, but all she could hear was her mate.
'Don't forget to come up to breathe. Not just because we need you – because I need you.'
"Garrus," she grunted out as her vision began to blur. Everything was double, sometimes splitting to triple.
Finally her fingers found the cold edge of the console, and she struggled to find the right controls. Why couldn't they make it any damn simpler? Blood smattered against the keys as she half-blindly typed with one hand. She'd studied the schematics sent from the science teams, but it was still so…
"Warning. Firing sequence initiated. Targets locked. Warning. Weapons core unstable. Firing sequence withdrawn."
Shepard growled at the automated voice, frustrated. No, they were too damn close to stop now. She typed the sequence again, her hands barely able to stop shaking.
"Warning. Firing sequence will cause catastrophic damage to Crucible facility. Do you wish to continue?"
Shepard stopped for a moment, her breathing the only sound she could hear in the vast, empty room. Her eyes glanced to the window, wishing desperately to be on Earth, at home, again. Where was Garrus now? She'd appreciate that drink right about now. She'd buy the first round. She began typing once more.
I'm sorry, Garrus…
"Firing sequence initiated. Two minutes until firing."
Satisfied, Shepard allowed her muscles to collapse beneath her, her face resting against the cool floor. As her eyes looked out onto Earth once more, she let a few stray tears fall before she allowed herself to fall into the comforting abyss of unconsciousness.
'Goodbye, Garrus. And if I'm up there in that bar and you're not – I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone.'
"Come on big guy, don't give up on us yet," a familiar voice grunted. Garrus felt his arm get slung over something large as he was lifted upright, the familiar beep of an omni-tool accompanying the feeling of cool medi-gel spreading through his system.
"J'mes?" Garrus managed to mumble confusedly, his vision already beginning to return as the healing substance ran across his external injuries too.
"Don't forget about me," Liara's familiar, light voice brought him back, before she turned serious once more. "You took a pretty bad hit. You'll need some surgery but for now the medi-gel will hold."
Garrus sighed in relief as the worst of his injuries were deferred or at least numbed. He felt his ragged breath steady once more, and he was able to meet his comrade's faces without seeing two of each.
"Come on, we've gotta get him and Ashley back to the Normandy," James grunted more seriously than Garrus had ever heard him, the young man trying to keep the heavy turian level.
"Shepard?" Garrus breathed as they reached the door of the Normandy's shuttle, a hitch in his side being evidence that his injuries were still very real. But his mind was still far above them, miles away within the Citadel.
"Crazy Lola got the Crucible going, she'll be back soon enough," James said with a slight laugh, setting down Garrus on the seat beside him, his chuckles reverberating through Garrus' armor but the turian couldn't feel them. His jaw finally unclenched itself, his relief spreading in tangible waves. Shepard, his human, his mate, was coming home. For good.
As Garrus let his muscles went slack with the liberating news, James gave a grunt of disapproval as the weight against his shoulder grew heavier. "Hey now, pendejo, I'm not keeping your turian ass upright the entire way there, ya hear?"
Garrus allowed himself to chuckle, too. Despite the fact that they flew by the battles that continued, Garrus couldn't help but feel happy for a change. They were almost there. It was almost done, for good. No more Saren, no more Collectors, no more Reapers. Just peace.
Garrus finally took notice of Ashley in the corner of the shuttle, her tired eyes smiling at Garrus as Liara looked over her injuries. "Not bad, Vakarian. You and Shep will have to invite me to the wedding, you know."
If Garrus could have blushed, he would have. "Maybe we'll name a girl after you too. If you're lucky." Chuckling, he looked out through the small port window, seeing that they had finally breached through the stratosphere, and were already flying past the Citadel. Soon they would go there with the Normandy to get her, the Crucible would fire, and they would finally be done –
A blinding green light suddenly filled his vision, and he had to block the oncoming brightness with his arm. Once it began to fade, he turned his eyes back to the window, panicked, and felt his heart drop as his world crumbled in around him.
"SHEPARD!" he howled, his voice raw.
There, in the space where the Crucible had just been, the center of the Citadel burned with an eerie green flame.
49 hours. He had been counting the minutes until the 31-hour mark, when it just became too painful to feel anything less than hours pass. Even those seemed to crawl by. It all blurred together, anyway. It was all a mess of pain and given up hopes at this point.
They had found Anderson's body after 14 hours of searching through the rubble. Some had tried to reassure him, saying that there were still some areas left undamaged, if they'd located Anderson they might find her breathing, that there was still air pressure, that she could be somewhere.
Most tried to console him. None succeeded. He had fallen into some dark universe without Shepard, and nothing else could pull him out again. This time, she wasn't coming back.
"Garrus?" Dr. Chakwas' gentle voice tried for the third time, finally bringing the turian from his thoughts. "Do you need more pain killers?"
Not even lifting his gaze, Garrus shook his head. He didn't even bother trying to speak, his voice was far gone anyway through all the screaming he'd apparently done since they'd arrived on the Normandy. He didn't even remember any of it.
Chakwas, unsure of what to do, simply pursed her lips and nodded, leaving the turian to his thoughts once more. The only sound left in the med-bay was the gentle clicking of the machinery.
Sitting up on his cot, Garrus simply chose to bury his face in his hands, his right talons brushing against the scarred mandible. It seemed like a lifetime ago, with different people in a different world, when she'd been with him, running her warm, gentle fingers along his face. She was the only one who could love a face like his, who could love him at all. She was the only one he ever wanted to.
Spirits damn it all, this wasn't fair! She had spent every damn minute of the last few months planning and hoping and trying so damn hard to make this all right! She didn't deserve this! She deserved to be here, with him, planning their future on some tropical island while they talked about what they would name their kids and drinking until she started singing those old silly Earth songs she knew so well. It wasn't fair!
'And if I'm up there in that bar and you're not – I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone.'
Tears leaked from the turian's eyes. "Never," he rasped out in the quiet emptiness.
"I need all personnel cleared from the halls, give any extra room available, we've got Shepard on board," Joker's excited voice broke over the comm. Garrus sat up straight. Did he just hear –
"Medical teams 2 and 5 report to the med bay, team 3 to the air lock to assist with the transfer," EDI chimed in next, even her voice filled with some eagerness. They couldn't possibly mean?
Garrus made his way unsteadily to his feet, making his way hastily to the door only to be brushed out of the way by a sudden rush of medical staff, most of which had been lent from the council since the attack. Hardly anything could be distinguished above the hustle of the group and Chakwas' commands above them all, the doctor seeming just as swept up as he felt.
Her eyes suddenly fell on him, though his vision was locked onto the bright blonde hair he'd found between gaps in the medical group. From what he could see she was badly cut and bruised, possibly even burned, her eyes closed and her body unmoving. He growled heavily, trying to shove his way through to her, but a gentle hand on his chest armor plate stopped him.
"Don't," Garrus snarled, more forcefully than he'd intended, but stopped when he saw the look of hurt pass across Chakwas' face. However, hers turned dark in return, and she pushed him forcefully back.
"I'm sorry Garrus, but she needs medical attention, you can't be here," she said strictly as she pushed him farther out the door. Her face turned to pity as she saw the distraught look on the turian's face. "I'm sorry, you'll be the first one I call."
With that she turned, and before he could make his way into the room once more, the door closed and locked firmly shut.
Still reeling with shock, Garrus stared at the door, resting a hand on the cool metal. "Come back to me, little human," he sighed beneath his breath, praying to every spirit he could think of that his mate would open her eyes once more.
Three more hours passed before the doors finally opened again. At least, not for a supply run. Doctors had scurried in and out multiple times over the last few hours, each carrying bloody towels and supplies out of the med bay or carrying more medicine and clean bandages in. Each run had spurred hope in Garrus, and each one only brought more anxiety.
Finally, a tired-looking Chakwas stepped out, blood spattering her uniform's arms and sweat clinging her face, but otherwise looking relieved.
Garrus, abandoning his previous post of pacing near the dining tables, rushed to the door, trying to look past it before it closed. His eyes turned to the doctor.
"Shepard?" was all he managed, searching her face for any signs of grief or guilt or any other betraying emotion.
She sighed, setting the turian on edge. "She took a pretty bad hit, Vakarian," the old doctor sighed, her newly scrubbed hands rubbing her forehead. Garrus stiffened, but she continued. "We got her back in pretty good shape though. She'll be out for a while, and…" She trailed off.
As the doctor hesitated, Garrus grew even more apprehensive. "And?"
The doctor bit her lip. "It looks like she took the brunt of the explosion on the left side of her body. Her armor shielded a good portion of her skin, but her neck and face…Her hair will grow back, but the skin will have a permanent mark."
Garrus shook his head. Why was she worrying about such a trivial thing? Hell, scars were damn sexy. That wasn't his concern. "But otherwise she'll be alright?"
For the first time, Chakwas' face broke into a tiny smile. "She'll be down for a while, but yeah. She should be okay. You should go see her."
Without another word, Garrus brushed past the doctor, eager to see his mate. He would thank the woman with everything he could later.
He stopped short when the doors opened, revealing the fragile blonde laying a few cots down. It took all he could, but he eventually made his way to her side. The nurses, having taken notice, quietly excused themselves for the moment, no doubt monitoring their ward from elsewhere nearby.
Spirits, she looked so broken. Her normally sun-kissed sun looked pale and taut on her frame, her skin marred in every which way by bruises and cuts so deep he felt sick. The skin on the left side of her neck and cheek were covered in bandages, the edges peeking through looking bright red. At least we match now, he thought bitterly.
Clenching his fists, he had to look away for a moment. He should have followed her. He should have followed her into that damn Crucible and stopped any of this from happening. Better yet, he should have gone instead of her. If he'd run faster, gotten up quicker, gotten to her sooner…
"Garrus?"
His eyes flew open, his entire world realigned with one word. Looking onto the cot, he saw the same chocolate brown eyes that he'd fallen in love with so long ago. He was only able to make it a couple of steps before his knees gave way, leaving him to kneel at her bedside.
"Shepard," he breathed, gently scooping her hand into his, entwining his fingers with hers as he rested it against his face, struggling to find something right to say. "The doctor said you'd be out for a while…" What a stupid thing to say…
A tired smirk broke Shepard's face. "That's what they said," she paused to catch her breath, fighting her exhaustion, "on Aratoht."
She paused, thinking, though the drugs seemed to muddle her mind for a bit. "Is it…Did we win?"
Garrus chuckled, studying Shepard's face as though she'd disappear in a puff of smoke in front of him. "Yes, stubborn human," he rumbled with a fatigued laugh. His joy faded though as his eyes roamed her injuries again, each one worse than the last. He lowered his head, resting it on the back of the hand he clung so desperately to.
"Spirits, Shepard, I'm so sorry," he started with a shudder. "I should have been there. I-I could have helped you, o-or maybe –"
Garrus felt Shepard's hand slip away from his, and he felt shame wash through him. She wouldn't love such a weak man, such a weak turian. How he could've ever fooled himself that she could only proved –
"Garrus," Shepard snapped when he didn't hear her the first time. When he lifted his eyes to meet hers, her annoyed expression turned gentle. She placed her hand on the side of his face, running her thumb along the scarred plates. "You silly man, you think I'd be happy if you were up there in that hellhole with me? I'm so happy you weren't. If anything happened to you, I…"
He looked to her, shocked. She was worried about him? Spirits, the madness of this woman! She almost gets herself killed, and she worries about him? He couldn't even –
"Garrus, stop it," she warned, already watching the wheels turning in her mate's head. "We're both here, aren't we? And hell," she brought her hand up to the bandages on her face, wincing slightly but never losing her grin, "we match now, huh?"
Despite the grim nature of their situation, Garrus smiled, taking Shepard's hand back in his own. "We do make quite the pair," he agreed, relieved that she would still be by his side.
Shepard smiled. "I love you, Garrus Vakarian," she spoke again, her beautiful words reminding him of the first time she spoke them.
Getting to his feet, he leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on his mate's forehead before tucking her hair back. "I love you too, Chloe." He settled into his chair once more, prepared to wait as long as it took. "Get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up."
Relieved, Shepard closed her eyes, her hand tightening around his, murmuring before she fell asleep, "I'll hold you to that."