Hi everyone. I hope you're doing fine.
This is my fic for the current prompt we are holding on our discord server. The theme is "crack fics" so here is mine. I never wrote a crack fic before so I didn't really know what to do about it, so I just thought of the most random plot I could come up with and I... didn't came up with anything so here you have some lewd plotless stuff.
I said lewd, but it's mostly smut and comedy.
Working at the office of a large company is a really stressful job, specially if you hold some kind of responsibilities. Even if you work for the overly idealized video game industry the days are long, the people around you us annoyingly useless and every few minutes the boss would come over to make your day even worse. Luckily, that wasn't the case for the team.
"Elesis, if you don't have anything to do you could be helping me!"
The red knight was by the coffee machine, enjoying her affogato as she turned around to look in the general direction of the purple haired girl that shouted at her. She adjusted her shades and sook a bit of dust from her black suit.
"I'm sorry Aisha, but I'm actually doing things,"
"Like what? Drinking coffee and trying to act cool?" She complained. Aisha had been moving a large number of cardboard boxes all over the office for a while now. All of them were being transported over the paper shredder to efficiently dispose of it's contains.
"Why don't you dump all of that in the trash can anyways?" Elesis said, she ordered a second coffee on the machine. Contrary to most coffee machines, this one has been modified to please the complex coffee needs of the boss. The machine beeped and a flat white was server. The machine even managed to draw a beautiful flower on the coffee foam.
"Orders from the boss. She doesn't want any of our rivals finding out what we're up to." Aisha said, sending a handful of graphs, spreadsheets and many other documents into the mighty shredder, turning the valuable information into unintelligible garbage.
Elesis shrugged as she walked away from the machine, leaving her bussy friend alone with her doing. On her way to meet with the boss, she had to cross the employees cubicles where she could hear two boys arguing over something. She took a small detour to see what was going between them. She found her brother, Elsword, leaning over the brownish wall of his workstation arguing with his neighbour Chung.
"I told you, that's not what they're asking for! Follow the plan they gave you and stop complaining!" Elsword was saying, as he swung a bunch of papers in front of the other boy.
"They don't know what they are talking about if they are asking us to waste our time with this. This is not what the audience wants!" Chung complained without raising his eyes from the paper he was drawing on.
Elesis took a quick look over his shoulder and saw the nearly finished design of a young girl wearing something that seemed out of an anime show. "And they say that people in graphic design is happier than the ones in accounting…"
"Sis! Please, tell this stubborn idiot that his drawings aren't adequate for the project!" Elsword begged to his sister.
"Well, what can I say? I think they are kind off cute," Elesis said, picking up one of them. It was a white haired heroine wearing an skimpy armor. While the girl was portrayed in a menacing stance, she looked lively and happy, her colorful eyes and hair highlighted her childish appearance rather than her ferocity.
"Cute or not, if Eve sees that you are wasting…" Elsword started to say.
"Wasting what?" A voice behind them spoke. All of them freeze for a second before slowly turning around to see their boss. They shared nervous looks before Elesis stepped in, handling Eve her coffee "Good grief, I actually came here because I couldn't believe how long you took with it,"
"I'm sorry boss, but I had to stop here to scold these two…"
"Don't make things up sis!" Elsword complained.
"Enough. Gentlemen, please, go back to work. Elesis, let's go to my office."
"Aye ma'am!"
Back in her office, Eve took a seat on her desk. Many different papers rested on top of it ordered in neat piles and covered on notes about their contents. She left her already cold coffee on the table and browsed one of her drawers to get a book out.
"Elesis. I noticed that the employees are having constant problems getting along with each other. Just the other day, Aisha kept ignoring me while working, saying that she couldn't delay her duties one minute more."
Eve read through the book quickly, her Nasod processor already saved the data inside it, but she was looking for a specific page to show her.
"The release date for our latest project is pretty close, so I'd say it's understandable," Elesis replied
"It is, but this is not the work enviromment I had in mind when funding this company. And I'm affraid that it might harm the project," She said, finally finding the page she was looking for and showing it to Elesis "So I considered performing a little activity as suggested here, in order to strengthen ties and interprofessional relations."
"You mean that we should go out in a group?" Elesis said, picking up the book. It was titled How to direct a company with humans. "That should be fine, I'll tell them."
Gathering the party was easy. Elsword and Chung both accepted right away, feeling happy to finally do something else that is not work. Aisha was a bit hard to convince though. She was obsessed with getting stuff finished before leaving work and she even suggested staying overnight in the office.
"Aisha. Eve is a bit upset because you kept ignoring her the other day so I suggest that you accept," Elesis said, making the work psycho struggle with herself.
"F-Fine, if Eve is going I guess I should go as well."
The selected place was a pub named The mana potion. A pub frequented by people working in the game industry and that doesn't sell actual mana potions. Being it a pseudo company activity, Eve paid for everyone's drinks and reserved a small booth on the second floor of the pub.
"So, what has been in your minds lately?" Eve questioned.
"What do you mean?" Elsword was the first one to answer.
"I noticed some pent up tension on our workplace You have been here ever since the company was created so I feel like we should gather up and talk about anything troubling you…"
"Well… I guess we are just a bit stressed from working. You know, the usual…" Chung answered.
"Oh, come on! I know what's going on… You had a fight!" Elesis interrupted.
"I thought we came here to have fun…" Chung complained, and before anyone else said something he got up and leave their booth. Everyone else stood there dumbfounded until Elsword finally got up himself and follow him.
"Chung! Hey Chung!" Elsword shouted, trying to be heard over the loud music "Where are you going dude?"
"I'm going home, I don't feel like staying here anymore…"
"Hey what's wrong with you? You been acting really weird lately. You know you can tell me about this stuff right?" Elsword said, catching him by the shoulder and walking him out of the loud dancing hall.
"Yeah… It's… Look, I'm frustrated. And I don't want to be made fun off today. That's all."
"Frustrated? By what? Does it have something to do with your drawings?"
"Of course. I keep telling you I don't feel like doing these things. I want to draw my own style, but Eve keeps telling me to adjust my work to the project and it really frustrates me. I'm an artist!"
"Come on man, don't be like that. You know everyone is working hard on the project. I know that they like your style, but this is just what we have to do now."
Chung took a deep breath. He knew Elsword was right. And that he may be throwing a tantrum right now for no good reason. But he still felt a bit awkward about the whole situation.
"Let's go back. It's been a long time since we last have a chance to just go out and relax. Don't worry, I'll tell sis to not bother you."
Chung sighed. He decided to follow him back to the booth. He was right, it has been a long time since their last date and he was wasting it.
"Oh, you're here right in time! We were about to start playing a game!" Elesis announced once the two boys entered the room.
"Oh no, it's not one of your sexy drinking games, is it?" Elsword said, feeling afraid of her answer.
"Of course it is, this one even has its own app!" Elesis answered, showing them her phone screen.
It was one of Elesis' habits. Downloading and trying out weird social games she would found on the app market. Some of them were fun, but most of them were recklessly embarrassing.
"So this is simple, the game will give you an order and you'll have to follow it or drink as a punishment. And I have to warn you, there are some spicy ones here…"
"What use there is in warning if you're forcing us to play?" Aisha complained.
Elesis ignored it and started the app. Everyone grabbed their drinks, knowing that nobody would be able to stop her now and trying their best to have fun with it.
"Elsword, you're first. So you first command is… From now on you can only talk while quoting famous people or drink every time you fail to do so"
"But I don't know any famous quotes!" He yelled.
"Then start drinking. Alright, Eve, you're next. Your command is: Until new warning you can't use e when speaking."
"That is not hard at all," Eve answered.
"Aisha, your turn." Elesis said.
"Come on Elesis, you said there are some spicy ones…" Aisha said.
It wasn't unexpected from her, as soon as the alcohol kicks in, Aisha turns into a clingy and overefusive monster.
"Oh… I'll make you regret saying that," Elesis said with a laugh as she skipped some of the boring commands and looking for the good old lewd stuff she was here for "Ah, here is one. You have to french kiss one of the boys, but they can't reject you!"
"Well, considering that Elsword can't speak right now…" Aisha said, approaching Elsword with a grin "Don't get mad at me, Chung,"
Chung rolled his eyes as Aisha threw herself over the defenseless young boy. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big smooch. He may have tried to resist, but it happened anyway.
"That was… a bit disappointing. Are you afraid of kissing a girl, Elsword?" Aisha complained.
It seemed like Elsword wanted to answer back, but the rule of quoting held him back.
"Chung! Your command! Let's see… Aha, you have to give a kiss on the neck to your first... bed partner "Elesis said, containing her laugh "Or to someone you want to bed if it's not present,"
"Does it really say that?" Chung asked, feeling a bit sketchy.
"Yeah, it does," She answered, showing him the screen on her phone.
Chung rolled his eyes before slowly approaching Elsword and planting a sweet soft kiss on his neck. He didn't seemed as bothered this time, as he smiled to him, again looking like he wanted to talk.
"Oh my, what things have you done to my poor little brother?" Elesis said pretending to be shocked. Chung dismissed her words sticking his tongue out for her. "Fine, Elsword, you're free of your quoting curse, and now you can send it to someone of your choice,"
"Yeah! And I know exactly who deserves it," Elsword said, pointing at Aisha.
"It doesn't matter. As the famous revolutionary once said: An intelligent person learns from the experience of others,"
"Oh my, it seems like she has it under control, dear brother. Alright, Eve, don't fall asleep, it's your turn."
Similarly to Aisha, Eve also becomes clingy when drunk, whoever the only thing she wants is to uso anyone fool enough to fall on her claws as a body pillow to sleep, as alcohol makes her feel really tired.
"Oh, this is nice. It says you have to either kiss one of the boys or pay for everyone's drinks."
"I guess a kiss wouldn't be a big problem, considering we are out of working hours…" She said, looking at the only present boys wondering which one to pick.
"Elsword already had enough kisses for the night, don't you think?" Elesis suggested.
"Fine. Chung, give me a kiss." Eve requested. It sounded more like if she were asking for some kind of paperwork properly done rather than a show of affection. He complied anyway.
They had to reach for each other over the table, quietly kissing in front of everyone else. Unlike before, Elsword seemed to be getting a bit envious, but he contained himself until the two of them had finished tasting each other.
"So, why are you the only one not playing?" Eve questioned, going back to her seat.
"I'm the one reading the questions, of course." Elesis excused herself "Aisha, your turn again. You're going to like this. It says here that you have to kiss someone that turns you on until they are out of breath."
"Oh my…" Aisha said with a twinkle in her eyes as she turned around to her unsuspecting friend Eve "Come here babe."
Aisha jumped over her, surprising the poor sleepy girl for suddenly have her lips pressed and her back against the seat. She actually continued to caress her lips until Eve started to hit her back. She was slightly red, which was kind of impressive considering how white her pure skin was; and much more awoke than before. The rest of the team suddenly came back to their senses, realising they were staring the scene with candid eyes the whole time.
"You didn't have to follow it so seriously," Elesis mockingly said.
"Aisha…" Eve started to say, but stopped after feeling somewhat embarrassed.
"Oh, sorry for startling you Eve, but I didn't want to give you time to reject me," Aisha said, she forgot again about the quoting curse, but nobody seemed to care. As if any of them was here for the boring rules anyway.
"Chung, your order is to pick someone you like and have them sit astride on your knees for the rest of the match." Elesis ordered, already looking for the next spicy order on the app.
To nobody surprise Chung asked Elsword to fill the role. When they were face to face they couldn't help but to blush and feel a bit tense.
"Elsword, you have to place your hands on the chest of your beloved person for the rest of the match, below the shirt of course.!"
"This is getting a bit extrange" Elsword said, sliding his hands under Chung's clothes. The nice shaped abs below made him bite his lower lip as he felt them.
"Eve, you're free from your last curse… that's all," Elesis said, a bit disappointed. "Aisha, you're getting all the good ones… You have to take a shot directly served on the belly button of someone of your choice."
Eve didn't need a warning to know Aisha would go after her. And before she could say something, she was already laying on top of the table with a cold serving of vodka being poured on her navel.
"Aisha!" Eve shouted, trying to get her friend to show some restraint.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to warn you that the drink was a bit cold,"
"That's not the problem."
She ignored her complains and kneeled in front of her. Eve felt her soft lips sucking the transparent liquid from her body. Not as disgusting as it sounded as it was a bit exciting.
"You two should get a room!" Elsword said with his hands still glued to Chung.
The game continued for some hours, with so many silly orders that in the end there wasn't a single thing that didn't got kissed at least once in the whole night.
"That was fun, wasn't't it?" Elesis said, putting away her phone and preparing to leave the already closing pub.
"I guess… Sorry for acting like a kid back there," Chung said, also picking his stuff up.
"Don't worry about that," Aisha said, carrying a sleeping Eve on her back "I'll take her home, let's see tomorrow at work."
"You're not going to take advantage of her or something, are you?" Elsword questioned, half joking, half serious.
"Very funny," Aisha said, punching him on the arm. "I'll let you know that Eve wouldn't mind if I did though. I think,"
"I don't really like how that sounds, and as her bodyguard, I may have to accompany you two…"
"Stop saying you're her body guard Elesis, you're our PR manager… But if you want to come I guess I could make some room for you," Aisha said with a wide smile.
"Oh my, how tempting."
"We're leaving," Chung finally said, grabbing Elsword hand and pulling him out of the pub.
"Fine, good bye!" Elesis said as loud as she could.
"Yeah, yeah. Good bye."