The Adventures of Yuuki-chan: The Unluckiest Sekirei!

Episode 1: A New Challenger Appears!

It was another rooftop battle, just like that fateful day that had led to the winging of Tsukiumi. This time, however, only the aforementioned water-user and Musubi were fighting. Shirou and the rest of his flock had already gone ahead to rescue Uzume from whatever silliness the narrator has yet to be told of. They were fighting a pair of sekirei, which was handy since it allowed them both to adhere to the rules of the Sekirei plan.

"Sekirei number 88, Musubi!" The bountifully breasted sekirei pronounced proudly, and moved seamlessly into a battle stance.

Her opponent was a petit young-looking woman with dark red hair, wearing what looked like a jogging outfit that had seen much better days (there were gaping holes and tears all around it, as well as what looked like dark stains that still hadn't faded) with a pair nunchaku in her hands. She gave her ashikabi, a foreign-looking young man who was expensively dressed, a questioning look. A quick nod was her response, to which the sekirei let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Number 23, Yuuki." The newly named Yuuki answered with some trepidation, and she gave her weapons a half-hearted twirl before sinking into a stance herself.

"Do me proud, Yuuki!" The foreign-looking Ashikabi cheered on from the sideline, pumping a fist into the air. "If you do well, you might level up into a more powerful fighter!"

"Ahh!" Musubi shouted out at the other ashikabi's pronouncement. "We can level up? I didn't know we could do that! I'm gonna take one in 'badass'!"

"Don't be stupid, Musubi." Tsukiumi scolded from her own battle with another, much less plot-relevant opponent. "Just beat her so we can join Shirou!"

"Ah! You're right!" The shrine-maiden exclaimed, and then pointed an accusing finger at her own opponent. "I need to defeat you and prove the power of love to Shirou-san!"

Yuuki merely stood impassively, waiting for everyone to shut up so the fight could begin.

And when it did, she was treated to a textbook display of 'complete and utter *ss-kicking'. Number 23 managed to make a single swipe with her nunchaku, a blow that Musubi easily dodged and then kept going to strike her solidly in her own side. After that a rain of blows ensued that rendered the shabbily-dressed sekirei to groaning mass on the ground. Anyone watching would have been unable to feel anything other than sympathy towards the badly beaten Sekirei, a feeling that Musubi fortunately was too busy being excited to experience.

She was about to place her hand on her opponent's crest and end the fight when the strange ashikabi gave out a cry and rushed to his Sekirei's side, cradling her ruined body to him.

"Master..." The badly wounded sekirei gasped out painfully.

The foreign-looking man rose to his feet, holding the woman bridal style in his arms.

"Don't worry, Yuuki!" The man assured her desperately. "I'll make you better!"

"..'nk you..." She muttered pitifully.

The two of them began to retreat, and the only thing missing was setting sun in the background for it to have been a perfect.

Musubi was so touched by the scene she had just witnessed that she didn't have the heart to tear the two apart. Love was much more important that just winning a fight, after all. And it wasn't like they were a threat anymore, so she could just-

Her line of thought in horrified wonder as that very same ashikabi casually tossed his sekirei off the building. Her opponent had just time enough to squawk indignantly before she disappeared over the edge. A moment later they all heard a distant, fleshy 'thwump' as the body impacted.

Everyone who was watching was by now staring at the foreign young man, who gave them an affronted look.

"What?" He asked, sounding genuinely curious to find out what everyone found so odd about throwing his own sekirei to her death.

"What did you do?" Musubi shouted, her eyes wide with horror. "You killed her!"

The foreign ashikabi gave a radiant smile and a thumbs up.

"Yup! Don't worry, she'll be right as rain soon enough!"

"Idiot!" Musubi shrieked. "Everyone knows things that die stay dead!"

And a moment later that statement was proven wrong as, implausibly as it seemed, Yuuki leaped back up unto the rooftop, wearing an annoyed look on her face.

"That wasn't necessary." She said reproachfully to her ashikabi.

Musubi shifted her horrified look to one of terror, pointing an accusing finger at the sudden arrival of her.

"G-g-g-g-" She began stuttering out, staggering backwards as she did.

"Ah, Yuuki!" The young man said, grinning widely. "I love watching people react to you!"

"Ghost!" Musubi finally shouted out. "Tsukiumi-san, help me! I can't fight a dead person!"

"I'm not dead, you idiot!" Yuuki snarled out.

"We saw you fall! We heard you hit the ground!" Tsukiumi's opponent pointed out, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

"So? I just regenerated. No harm done."

"You died!"

"Bah, trifles."

"He threw you off the roof!"

"Not the way I'd have preferred things to be done, but it did the trick I guess."

"You died!"

"It didn't stick."

Tsukiumi seemed to have had enough tomfoolery with the amazing dying Sekirei.

"Musubi!" the blonde said imperiously. "Just finish her off! Shirou needs our help!"

The shrine maiden glared suspiciously at her opponent, her hands held closely too her body as she warily studied the woman.

"You're not going to eat my brain, are you?" She eventually asked, eyeing the redhead distrustfully.

"I'm not a zombie!" Yuuki protested hotly. "Look, do you see me groaning or shambling around? Do I-"

The refute was apparently all that Musubi needed to convince her to reopen the can-o'-whoop-*ss she'd previously unleashed upon her enemy.

Once more, number 23 was beaten to the last inch of life. This time she put up a bit more of a fight, but against Musubi's merciless ministrations there could be no victory. It was not long before Yuuki was again lying in a broken heap, utterly defeated. She lay near the edge of the building, gasping for breath.

And again her ashikabi pushed her over the edge, this time prodding her over with his foot rather than throwing her over.

Musubi gaped at the young man openly, before pointing at him once more.

"Stop killing your sekirei!" She shouted at him indignantly. "Don't you love her?"

"Of course!" He answered brightly. "And that's why I won't let you beat her! She must triumph!"

"Ahh!" A shriek from below sounded out, which seemed to cause the foreigner to blanch and rush over to the edge. "Damien, help me! I'm being attacked by raccoons! Save me!"

The foreigner gasped, and hurriedly retreated in order to rescue his sekirei from the vicious assault from murderous rodents.

Musubi continued to stare at the quickly disappearing ashikabi, before eventually she pushed the whole affair out of her mind. This really was too weird even for her.

"Tsukiumi-san, I'm off to save Shirou!" She called out, already fixed on her new task.