Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with the television show Instant Star. I only own the plot of this story. I do wish I owned Tim Rozon though…..don't we all?

The Complications Of My Life

"Jude, you know it's always been you" he whispered softly into my ear. I closed my eyes and just savored the words. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waste as we looked out into the distance. It was perfect. He was perfect. Sometimes I had to turn around and check to make sure who's arms I was really being held by. And every time I met those gorgeous baby blue's, I knew. I knew that this was where I was meant to be. Forever.
"I love you Tommy" I stated bluntly. I wasn't sure If I should have said it. But I did, and I sure as hell didn't regret it! I felt him run his hands through my hair. It felt so good. "I love you to, girl" he replied sincerely. I sighed happily. Could this be anymore wonderful? "And that's why….." he started and began to trail off. I turned around to face him. "And that's why…." were not the best 3 words for a girl to hear. He stared intently into my eyes. Oh how I love those eyes. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life" he finished. I could feel a huge smile spread across my face. Then, he bent down on one knee and took by hand in his. "Jude Harrison, will you marry me?" he asked, as he pulled out the most breath-taking diamond ring I have ever seen. I knew by then I was bawling like a newborn child. He was romantic, adorable, smart, fun, and he wanted me! ME! I broke my gaze for a moment, contemplating. "Will you love me for the rest of my life?" I questioned. "No" he replied sternly. My face fell. My smile faded. The joy and happiness that was once there was replaced with sadness and sarrow. He wouldn't love me for the rest of my life?…..
"I'll love you for the rest of mine Jude" he said. Those were most definitely the sweetest words I have ever been told! That wide, broad smile was returned to my face. And I squeeled with happiness. "Yes! Of course I will marry you!" I shouted. After he slipped the ring on my finger, he stood and embraced me in a warm hug. We spun around and around, both knowing this was what we wanted. I was filled with delight, courage, love…..It was the happiest moment of my life. Then, It was ruined. Torn away forever.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I sleeply turned over in my bed, pulling the covers over my head, burrowing. "No…Tommy……" I groaned. "Jude! Get up now! And turn that stupid alarm off!" Sadie Harrison yelled from the room to the left of mine. That was when I sat up. Trying to register what I had just dreamed. It seemed so real. I slowly looked at my obnoxious, buzzing clock and smacked it annoyingly. It dropped to the floor and the noise it was once giving off stopped. My head hurt. My stomach felt all weird. I brought my hand up to my head and rubbed my forhead with the heel of my palm. "Thanks for finally listening!" Sadie ranted, as she entered my room. "You have….." she looked at her crystal embroided watch from Tiffany's, "47 minutes to get showered, dressed, and descent looking enough to be seen in public! Hmm, better hurry" she finished, as she left in a hurry. I moaned and my head fell. I didn't want to go anywhere. I didn't want to have to record or sing or whatever. Heck! I didn't even want to get out of bed today! But, I had no choice. So goes the life of being me. Complicated, boring, emotionally exhausting……the list can go on. Trust me! My life is never easy. My sister is dating my producer (yes, the one I just dreamed of proposing to ME!), my best friend Kat moved to New York to persue her fashion career, my mom and dad divorced, my dad married some push over named Yvette, and finally…..I'm dating my best friend, Jaime! Surprising? I know. We do care and love each other though. At least I think we do……
We've been dating ever since the release of my second album. The third one's still under construction. I do love Jaime. I know I do! But I still can't help but think, If I love him as much as I say I do, why do I have exotic dreams about Tommy! It's all so screwed up! Oh! And did I mention I'm turning 18 in two days? Yep! The big one eight! Exciting huh! No, not really. I'm dreading it. G-major's going way out of the box. Throwing this huge party in honor of me. We've tried that, remember. Didn't go so well. I suppose I will have to show up though. Just to be nice….Now, I must go get as my over-bearing sister would say "descent". I'm in for another day of having to see Tommy, having to get chewed out on my album release date, and dealing with E.J.'s annoying styling tips and ideas about how I should look at my party Friday. Joy! Great Joy!