Hello readers, I must warn you, this fan fiction is very bloody, depressing, and suicidal. I cannot be blamed for any trauma due to this warning.
This fan fiction is written for a special friend, may she one day see herself to be who she really is and not what others tell her she is.
(The Italic is the voices in Dick/Robin's head)
Mt. Justice, July 17, 1:30 P.M.
Dick sat on his bed in his quarters at Mt. Justice. His knees were pulled tight to his chest, teeth clenched as sobs rang through them. Behind his dark sunglasses sat of pained, and broken blue eyes, a waterfall of tears flowed from them. Dick got up from the bed visibly shaking, he shuffled over to the bathroom. He splashed his face with cool, tap water from the sink, it felt refreshing against his warm cheeks. He rummaged through the drawers until he found a razor blade. Dick held the blade firmly in his left hand as he used his right to roll up his sleeve. He switched the blade to his right hand and held it up to the light. I thought you were going to stop. The light delicate voice of a child said. What he should've done is ended it when he could've, but no he has too much to lose. Mocked a more gruff voice. Ha! Like that isn't the understatement of the century. This kid's got nothing. He's got no family, no friends, no one to stick around for. Another voice said. Yeah, I'll bet the world will be a better place if he was gone. The gruff voice said. More tears streamed down Dick's face as he came to the realization, I'm worthless. He thought as he looked down to see three crimson marks running along the side of his wrist, four more along his thigh. The voices cackled in Dick's head, He's too weak to end it! This is priceless, seriously, this kid is nothing but a worthless, disgusting, nobody. People like that deserve to die. The two voices mused. But, that's a lie, he has Bruce, and Wally, Artemis, Kaldur, Roy, and. The child's voice was cut off by something that sounded similar to a gunshot. There we go, now that, the little brat was silenced, I say it's little dickie's turn. Everything went black for a few seconds, Dick came back to reality to find himself lying in the bathroom floor covered in blood. The razor blade as stuck in his wrist as blood pooled out of it. Dick didn't react, he felt at peace. Finally, I won't be afraid, or unwanted. I'd get to see Mami and Tati again. Dick thought as his eyes closed. He fell into a world of blackness.
Wally sat upside down on the couch bored out of his mind.
"Uuuuuuuggggggg! I'm so bored!" He cried out. Artemis sat across from him on the floor polishing her arrows.
"Hey Baywatch, why don't you go bother bird brain?" Artemis snapped, clearly annoyed from his complaining. Wally rolled off the couch and sped towards Robin's room. He knocked on the door, no answer, Wally entered anyway. His eyes widened and his body trembled at the sight of Dick, his little brother, lying on the floor covered in blood with a razor blade stuck in his wrist.
"Rob!" Wally screamed as he bolted over to boy and held him in his arms.
"No,no,no,no,no,no,no!" He sobbed as Dick's lifeless body lied in the distraught hero's red stained arms. M'gann and Kaldur entered Robin's room to check on all the noise. A gasp came from them both and M'gann burst into tears. Kaldur grabbed Robin's wrist to check for a pulse.
"He has a very faint pulse, we need to get him to a hospital." Kaldur said, worry present in his voice. Wally lifted the ebony haired boy and raced him to he nearest hospital.
Happy Harbor Hospital, July 17, 2:53 P.M.
The Team sat in silence for hours in the hospital lobby. The only noise was the soft sobbing of M'gann and an occasional sigh. After about an hour and a half of waiting, a young nurse in her twenties entered the room.
"Mr. Wayne?" Asked the nurse. Bruce immediately stood up and followed her through the doors.
"He is stable but, he needs to stay for a few days for monitoring, he will also need to see a therapist." Dr. Leslie said as Bruce entered his son's hospital room. Dick's arms and legs were covered in bandages. His usually bright blue eyes were now closer to a navy, and were filled with pain and sorrow.
"Dick." Bruce said in a voice that was barely a whisper. He laid a hand on the boy's tiny shoulder. Sometimes Bruce forgot how young Dick was until moments like this.
"Tată, îmi pare rău." (Father, I am sorry.) Dick said as tears filled his eyes. Bruce's eyes softened as he replied.
"De ce îți pare rău pasărea mea? Nu ai făcut nimic rău." (Why are you sorry my bird? You have done nothing wrong.) Tears flowed from the child's eyes as he answered.
"Nu am reuşit, nu mă puteam sinucide." (I failed, I could not kill myself.) A lone tear slid down Bruce's cheek as he pulled the broken bird into a tight hug.
"Nu, copilul meu, nu aș reuși fără tine. Niciodată nu mă eșuați." (No, my child, I would never make it without you. You never fail me.) Bruce whispered into his son's ear. His heart dropped listening to his son. Dick's sobs became sniffles and light hiccups. I gave him a kiss on the forehead and left his room so the others could see him.
"You guys can go in and see Dick now but, try to be calm, he is still really upset." Bruce informed as the others passed him with worry mixed with relief on their faces. The door to Dick's room opened and The Team entered. Wally was the first to speak.
"Hey Rob, how ya feeling'?" Dick sat up with a glint of sadness on his face.
"Sunt în regulă." Dick replied. Everyone gave Dick confused looks except for Wally.
"Okay, my Romani is a little rusty but, I think he said he is fine." Wally translated. He shot a glance at the acrobat silently asking if he was correct. Dick nodded, Wally continued in horribly broken Ramani.
"Can you vorbesti to us in Engleză?" Dick laughed at Wally's attempt to speak the language.
"Sorry, when I am overly tired I'll slip into Romani." Dick admitted. He looked down and blushed. M'gann stepped forward with a warm smile on her green face.
"It's okay, I always wanted to learn a foreign language. Besides English I mean." The martian reddened with embarrassment. Dick chuckled, and replied.
"I'll teach you sometime." With that a doctor entered.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Leslie. I'm afraid visiting hours are over. You may come visit again tomorrow though." The doctor informed them. The Team said their goodbyes to the bird and left.
Gotham City Therapy Center, July 20, 11:15 A.M.
A black limousine approached the therapy center. Bruce Wayne and his ward stepped out of it. Dick shoved his hands deeper into his hoodie pockets as they entered the building. The acrobat sat cross legged in one of the waiting room chairs as Bruce talked with the front desk worker. Lookie here, Dickie bird at therapy. Looks like I was right! He is weak. Dick clenched his teeth. That's why his parents are dead. He was too weak to save them. The voices in his head cackled. Dick felt the urge to cut, to cut deep, to watch the crimson liquid pour from his veins as punishment. Punishment for being a weak, pathetic nobody. Bruce sat down next to his ward, making the bird jump. Worry filled Bruce's face.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked putting a hand on Dick's shoulder. The acrobat brushed it off.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He replied, his hands shook in his pockets from the need to cut. A woman in her early thirties walked in. Bruce stood up, Dick followed them into one of the therapy rooms. Bruce nodded at her and left the room.
"Hello Richard, I'm Dr. Tompkins, I hear you've had an 'incident.' Would you like to tell me what happened?" The doctor introduced. Dick sat cross legged in the chair. He didn't reply, he only stared out the window. The doctor sighed.
"Look, Richard, the only way this is going to work is if you open up to me." Dr. Tompkins informed. Dick still didn't reply. The doctor caught sight of the bandages wrapping around the child's arm. She decided to change the subject hoping maybe he'll at least say something.
"I know between school and being Robin, it's hard to keep up, and there is a lot of stress." She continued. Ha! She thinks it's because of school work. I'll bet Zach will give us one of his fun little visits tomorrow.
"The only things I know are what others told me, if I get your point of view I can help you more." Dr. Tompkins started. When the boy still didn't change she continued.
"If you cooperate, you'll get better. Everyone is worried for you Richard. We all want you to get better. If you talk to me I can help you, please." The doctor pleaded. Man, she is a good liar. Maybe she really thinks that they care for you. What an idiot, he's nothing but a charity case, everyone just pitties him. Those words made Dick snap.
"You want to hear my point of view, I wanted to die but, I failed just like I fail at everything because I am a stupid, pathetic, weak, nobody!" Dick shouted, not angry at the therapist but, at himself. Dr. Tompkins wrote in her notepad for a minute and then continued.
"Richard, you're angry at yourself. Can you explain to me why?"
"Why, why! Because I'm too weak! I failed my parents, I failed my team, I failed Bruce. I can even kill myself! This is why I'm angry! The world would be a better place if Richard Grayson was dead!" He shouted, his teeth clenched, his knuckles white from gripping the arms of the chair so tight. Tears threatened to spill from his blue eyes. The therapist simply took some more notes and said.
"That's all for today, thank you Richard." She got up and opened the door. Dick followed her, they met up with Bruce by the limo. Dick got into the car while Bruce and Dr. Tompkins spoke.
"Bruce, is anyone bothering him at school?" The doctor asked.
"No, he isn't having the night terrors anymore either." Bruce replied.
"He seems to think he is a failure. I need you to encourage him more. If anything happens call me, I may need to prescribe him some meds." The doctor instructed. Bruce nodded and got into the limousine. They drove back to the manor in silence. Bruce didn't know what to say. His son, the joking, laughing, ball of joy, was suicidal. As soon as they got to the manor, Dick went straight to his room. Bruce told Alfred what happened, the butler became very sollum.
"Should I remove all sharp objects from Master Richard's room, Sir?" Bruce sat down and placed his head in his hands. He sighed before replying.
"Yes, please do Alfred. Hopefully we won't have to keep it that way for long."
Alfred left Bruce alone to ponder on the fact that his son wanted to die.
I know, I know, most of you are saying "Dude what the heckles! This is really messed up!" But, it'll get better, I promise. This is all season one based but, no Zatana. I don't know why but, the moment her character was introduced I hated her so much, sorry.
Until next time heroes and villains.