Yao sat stooped over several colored pictures in his hand. There were more on the café table in front of him next to his half empty coffee. A very bored and anguished (or so he would claim) Ivan sat across from him.
"I told you I had work to do," the shorter of the men quipped without looking up. Ivan didn't answer he just sighed melodramatically. Yao briefly wondered if he was taking lessons from Francis.
Tense silence.
"Don't you have a job to do? You know something dark, evil, and mafia-y?"
"You shouldn't encourage lifestyles you are trying to destroy Yao-Yao," the mob boss muttered airily. Yao didn't have a comeback for that one so he just went back to looking at his photos from the day. He needed to pick one for the front page and he'd narrowed it down to four. Unfortunately he could not for the life of him choose one.
"We both know that you are going to choose the picture of the town hall clock tower, why not just drop the charade so we can move on to more enjoyable things?" Ivan growled.
The reporter frowned in displeasure before snapping back, "I might pick the picture of the flowers in the park, the one of the town fountain, or I could even pick the picture of you talking to the mayor!"
"Don't pick the one of me."
"Why?!"
"The way my head is turned makes my nose look big."
Yao stuttered in surprise, "But your nose is big."
"No it isn't."
"Yes it is!"
Ivan jumped forward suddenly looking straight at Yao a childish pout on his face, "You're so mean Yao-Yao!"
Yao scoffed, "What are you five? Get over it."
Ivan didn't answer his just stuck out his lower lip farther and crossed his arms sagging in his chair.
Yao sighed, "Vash will prefer the one of the clock tower," Ivan smirked, "I'm going to go run it over to him with my story on the bridge collapse."
"Bridge collapse?" Ivan asked innocently.
"Oh please," Yao rolled his eyes standing up, "as if you didn't orchestrate it for one dastardly reason or another."
Ivan giggled making his Chinese friend twitch unpleasantly, "Would Yao-Yao like a ride?"
"Uh-uh!" Yao bellowed pointing his finger accusingly, "I'm not going anywhere with you, you're trouble with a CAPITAL T!"
"But Yao," Ivan purred leaning in casually, his acquaintance swallowing thickly, "that's exactly why you like me."
Cheeks a little pink Yao growled slamming his portfolio shut and stalking off, "In your dreams Braginski!" His back tensed as he heard puffs of laughter behind him.
Curse Ivan and his stupid antics! Curse him for being so childish! Curse him and his tantalizing violet eyes!
~^.^~
Yao sighed happily as he exited the office. Vash as predicted, (damn that Russian bastard), loved the clock tower picture and Yao was off work for the week. Now all he had to do was figure out how to spend the rest of his Friday.
An accented voice carried on the wind passed by Yao then. A smooth tenor singing in a language he certainly wasn't fluent in accompanied by some stringed instrument. Dumbfounded he followed the voice and found Francis perched on a small wall playing a lute of all things. He smiled when he saw Yao approach.
"Are you singing Habanera?" Yao asked in amazement. Francis just grinned wider and stopped playing to lecherously beckon the flabbergasted man forward.
"WHAT THE HELL ARU!"
Francis laughed and pointed to his left revealing a small park Yao had never really paid attention to before. A table set with food and fancy silverware sat amongst a copse of trees. It was a picturesque scene made complete with a seductive Russian whose purple hair and silver eyes glowed in the candle light. Or was it hair eyes and silver purple, eyes purple, silver hair? Shit, Yao couldn't quite remember.
"Do you like it?" the business man asked gesturing around him.
"Please make him stop singing."
Ivan laughed and nodded to Francis, the music stopping immediately as he too chuckled at the reporter's expense. Embarrassed Yao almost regretted saying anything.
"I don't have any secrets to tell you right now," he groaned finally sitting down, "I have no idea why think you want me now."
Ivan held back a dirty remark having to do with wanting him anytime anywhere and answered simply with just, "I don't want secrets right now."
"I don't know why I'm here then."
"Oh, you'll see."
They ate in relative silence Yao complimenting the food once.
The scream of tires sliding against blacktop filled the air and Ivan smiled brightly while looking at his watch. Yao threw his food into the air screeching almost as loud as the pandemonium.
"Right on time!" Ivan chirped.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT! AIYAH!"
"Do you have your camera on you?"
"I always have my camera on me!"
"I was counting on that," Ivan grinned brightly pulling a gun from his coat aiming at the windshield of an oncoming black van. Francis quickly joined him.
"I think you should take some pictures mon ami," the Frenchman advised. Yao complied snapping pictures of the two mafia men.
"Not us!" Ivan snarled, "Them!" he dangerously waved his gun in the direction of the men leaning out of the van windows returning the open fire. Francis threw the table over and the three of them hide behind it.
"Why?" Yao snarled back, "You two are so much more entertaining!"
"JUST DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD COMRADE!"
Grudgingly Yao lay on the grass stretching from behind the table enough to get some good shots of the aggressors. Francis managed to shoot out one tire just as Ivan got the driver sending the vehicle into erratic swerves until it tipped over with a loud crunching sound.
"QUICK TO THE BATMOBILE!" Yao cried out sarcastically bee lining it for Ivan's Rolls Royce.
"You are so funny, I'm dying," Ivan yelled equally sardonic.
Francis wasted no time jumping into the driver's seat and taking off, almost leaving his employer behind. He received a smack to the back of the head for his troubles.
"I'm sorry mon patron! I am an assassin of the night not a soldier!"
"You mean a coward," Yao muttered dryly receiving a deadpanned look from the hit (excuse the pun) man.
Yao and Ivan both hung out of their respective windows and both started shooting, the Russian with his gun and the Chinaman with his camera. In the spur of the moment Yao leaned over the hood of the car and started capturing Ivan again.
"Beautiful, beautiful!" He called out cattily, "Keep it up Ivan! Your nose looks fantastic from this angle!"
The mafia boss snarled kicking Francis in the back and causing him to swerve and almost throw the reporter out of the vehicle.
"Oi!"
"You better watch what you say глупец. I can throw you out of here faster than you can blink," Ivan warned coldly his purple eyes narrowing in on his Asian comrade. Yao put up his hands in surrender.
"I'd get back in the cab mon amis," Francis called out, "we have a sharp turn coming up ahead."
The corner was made and then they pulled into a garage where Toris was prepared to shut the door quickly.
"You got pictures da?"
Yao sighed, "Yes lots."
It took a while for Toris and Ivan to go through the camera and delete the pictures they didn't like. When they were done Ivan happily gave the camera back to its owner.
"Yao-Yao we must do this again sometime, but in a less eventful more romantic way."
Yao didn't answer he just held his temple and muttered, "Aiyah," before heading back to the Gazette.
~^.^~
"Yao what are you doing back here?" Mr. Zwingli asked when his employee entered his office.
"I have pictures," he mumbled tossing a SD card onto Vash's desk, "don't ask please."
Vash nodded and allowed Yao to leave.
When he got outside he tensed up angrily. Ivan stood before him, Toris and Francis back in the car.
"I forgot to give you this," the mafia man giggled. He tilted his head and pecked Yao softly on the lips. Yao had no time to react as Ivan jumped back into his Royce and took off.
"WHAT THE HELL ARU!"
This is a gift fic for Candybook because she is the first person to really give me good reviews and has continued to do so. She requested Yao and Ivan in the same universe as Deadly Secrets. I love doing crack for these two and I hardly ever get to write it because Deadly can be such a dark fic. I remember reading that you ship RoChu so I tried to put some romance in there! This is actually going to be set after the next chapter that I'm already working on. Nothing is really revealed in this one-shot but some things are hinted at. ;)
Candybook I hope you love it!
Глупец: fool, imbecile, ect