Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory. If I did, I would be a rich executive producer not a broke college student.
Penny rushes to put her uniform on. She'd rather not be late to work, although she highly doubts her job is on the line. She does not have a good track record when it comes to punctuality—if the Cheesecake factory was going to fire her for being late, they would have done so many years ago.
She heads for the door, when her home-phone rings. Eh, what's a couple of minutes?
"Hello this is Penny." She hopes that it is Marcy. She really wants to know what Ted thought of Samantha's botched boob-job.
"Hey, It's Bill. Can I speak to Joey?" Darn. Wrong number.
"There's no Joey here. I think you dialed the wrong number."
"Oh, ok. Sorry."
"Yep." Penny hung up the phone. To think she wasted a good twenty seconds on that.
She ended up on time to work.
Now days, she passes the time at work by talking to Bernadette about her upcoming wedding to Howard. Penny still finds it hard to believe that out of all of them, Howard was the first to get married.
Work came and went and before she realizes, she's sitting on her couch at 8:00 p.m. in her PJs eating ice-cream out of a bowl while watching The Jersey Shore, God's greatest gift to man.
Her phone rings, and she considers the person calling very fortunate that it's a commercial or she would not be picking up.
"Hey, It Penny."
"Oh, so you are a girl. I knew that Jackass was cheating on me." Penny can't recognize the voice.
"I'm sorry…what?"
"Listen whore, I know my boyfriend called you, your number is stored on his phone!" Who in the hell is this person, and what gives her the right to call her names!
"Who are you?" And what are you smoking?
"His angry girlfriend, bitch. I warn you. Stay away from my man, Penny!" Comes the seething voice from the other end of the phone.
Penny has never felt so out of the conversation in her life, and she regularly associates with people whose IQs are well above genius range.
"Look, I don't know who you are, or what you're talking about, but I'm not with your boyfriend, whoever he may be. And call me a bitch one more time, I'll go all Nebraska on you ass and you'll be sorry you'd ever dialed this number." With threats made, Penny hung up the phone. Holy crap on a cracker what was that about?
She tries to focus on Jersey Shore, but even Snookie's sexcapades couldn't hold her interest. Her eyes are slowly closing, and at 8:15 she is seriously considering going to sleep. Good God! She is turning into Sheldon. But she is so tired from work today.
Three consecutive knocks sound from Penny's door, promptly followed by "Penny." Speak of the Devil.
Penny gets up and opens her door.
"What is it Sheldon."
Sheldon takes a breath before speaking. "As you know, It's anything can happen Thursday, and we have decided to go to the movies and watch Due Date. It's not conventional as it not being a science fiction film, but it's right up your alley. This is your invitation to it."
Well, Penny couldn't see why not.
"Yea sure, I'll come. I'll just get changed, why don't you come in and wait." Come in and wait? From Sheldon's experiences with the opposite sex, he knows the ridiculous amount of time they require to get ready. Well, she may as well ask him to do a prison sentence.
Alas, Sheldon walked in and took a seat on the chair next to her couch. He could hardly explain it but, he finds waiting for her comforting. He concludes he does not mind prison so much if his cellmate was Penny. He notices a half empty can of ice cream on her coffee table just lying about. Does this woman not realize that there is a proper place for everything?
Penny went in her bedroom to change.
A moment passed before the phone rang.
"Sheldon could you get that?" Sheldon heard Penny's muffled voice coming from her bedroom.
He let the phone ring three times before picking up.
"Hello, Sheldon Cooper speaking. Penny is otherwise occupied therefore unable to answer her phone."
"Sheldon, ey. Well, let me tell you a little something." Sheldon could tell from the tone of this woman's voice he was about to have an inevitable pointless conversation.
"I'd rather you not. I don't prefer to trifle with frivolities. And may I mention your lack of decorum for proper telephone etiquette. One should, in the very least, introduce themselves. Who is it that I am speaking to?" Some people are downright barbarians.
"Listen buddy, your whore of a girlfriend is cheating on you." Sheldon has heard his fare share of odd statements, but he must admit, this one took the cake.
"Excuse me? Would you elaborate as I can't fathom what you a referring to?"
"What are you an idiot? Your girlfriend, Penny, she's cheating with my boyfriend. I have proof too. That bastard thought he could get away with it." Penny is his girlfriend? What at absurd notion!
"You are making statements based on fallacies. Penny is most certainly not my girlfriend."
"Oh I get. So you're just another one of Penny's men on the side. Well, I have news for you buddy—you're not the only one! And you can tell that skank, if I ever see her near my man, I rip her eyes out!" And with that she ended the call leaving a very confused Sheldon unsure of as to what had transpired. Was this woman clinically insane? As far as he knows, Penny is no, to use her word, skank. There was no logical reason for this woman's musings. With the data at hand, Sheldon concluded that it was a wrong number.
Penny comes out of her bedroom as Sheldon puts the phone back on its mount.
"Who was it?" She really hopes she got a call back from that audition last Saturday.
Sheldon gives a look that is a cross between puzzled and angered before replying, "Wrong number."
Darn. Well a girl can hope. Although, it seems as of late that her phone is becoming a wrong number magnet. This makes three in a span of one day. Why can't George Clooney ever misdial her number!
"Well, Ok. Ready to head out?" Penny made a motion for the door. Sheldon gave her a silent nod and proceeded toward the exit.
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Leonard is sitting on Penny's couch watching reruns of Babylon 5 while eating butterless popcorn. Howard and Bernadette are having a double date with Raj because he "feels excluded from Howards life, man. He spends most of his time with Bernadette now, planning the wedding and all. He thinks just because Howard's going to be a married man now, he can forget about the little people." Of course, Leonard isn't surprised that Raj feels a little resentment towards Bernadette. However, he is surprised that Raj's date is Sheldon. Leonard can't even conjure what Raj must have offered Sheldon to agree to this. Although, he has a suspicion it was his original number one edition of Aquaman.
Leonard is distracted from his thoughts by the ringing of the phone. Penny is showering at the moment and Leonard wonders for a moment if he should pick but ultimately decides to answer.
"Hey, this is Leonard. Penny can't come to the phone right now, can I take a message?"
"Leonard? Who are you?"
"I think the better question is—um, who are you?" Leonard hopes this isn't Samantha. He doesn't think he could bear talking to her after Sheldon's remarks to Samantha about her "new breasts."
"Never mind who I am. Are you Penny's Boyfriend?" Leonard knows Penny doesn't have a boyfriend, so he thinks there's no harm in having a little fun.
"Uh, yeah, sure. I'm Penny's boyfriend." He hoped that sounded somewhat believable. After all, it was once true.
"Poor guy. Listen, we're both in the same boat here, so I may as well tell you. I hate to say it, but your girlfriend is cheating on you." What?
"You must be mistaken. Penny would never cheat on me." Penny is just not that kind of girl.
"Denial is the first step, but I'm not lying to you. When I called some days before, her action on the side picked up. What did he say was his name again..uh, oh yeah, I remember—Sheldon Cooper. He was probably over there sexin' up your girlfriend." That does not sound like Sheldon at all!
"Are you sure? Really, Sheldon?" She was probably remembering the wrong name.
"Yeah, he had a high pitch voice and used big words," Now Leonard begins to worry because that sounds like Sheldon. "Tell the truth, I couldn't understand half of what he said, but he definitely mentioned phalluses."
"Uh, well thanks for the, uh, news, I guess. I suppose I have some serious talking to do with my girlfriend." This was down right ridiculous. How can this woman think Penny is cheating on her boyfriend with Sheldon? Penny doesn't even have a boyfriend—he made that up!
"Don't take it too hard. You must confront Penny. I know I had to confront my boyfriend when he cheated on me with Penny." Ok, this woman is just plain crazy. Leonard hangs up the phone without even saying bye to her.
Leonard can't understand what occurred. This woman somehow thinks Penny is cheating on her boyfriend with Sheldon? But Penny has no boyfriend? Oh, my, god! Is Penny having an affair with Sheldon? That cannot be true?
Can it?
No, definitely not.
Wait….
What am I thinking, Of course not.
Then again.
At this point Penny came out of the Shower with a towel wrapped around her head.
"Leonard, why are you looking at me like that?" Why are you dating Sheldon! Get a grip Leonard, nothing is confirmed.
"Someone just called saying you're getting action from Sheldon?" Leonard said it as a question. Because let's face it, there is no way he can say that as a statement.
"Do you, uh, wanna catch me up?" Leonard hopes she can in a way that he isn't imagining right now.
A/N: This is based on a true story but of course transpiring in a more ridiculous way. Also some of what I say may not be my actual opinion. I actually despise The Jersey Shore, but I believe it's a show Penny would enjoy seeing as she made Sheldon watch it.