Ducky's Puddle

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to CBS.

On a cloudy and chilly day, the smell of eggs and sausages filled the house of the Mallards. Ducky had already woken up at six to take some of his mother's corgis outside. Immediately after, all of the corgis began whining for breakfast. While he prepared their food, Ducky made himself a cup of tea and some breakfast for him and his mother, who was still sleeping. By the time she woke up, breakfast was on the table and Ducky was on his second cup of tea.

With breakfast over, Ducky made haste to his car and left for work. He couldn't keep Gibbs waiting. By the time he arrived, there was nothing new on the scene. So, he made his way to autopsy where he was greeted by his assistant, Jimmy Palmer.

"Good morning, Dr. Mallard. Gibbs doesn't have anything right now, so I've been doing some studying and I made you a cup of coffee," Jimmy said, holding out a cup to him.

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Palmer," Ducky said as he took the cup. "Why don't I help you with your studies until our presence is requested?" With that said, Ducky went to work helping Jimmy as he guzzled down his coffee. Ten minutes in, there was still nothing from Gibbs. Deciding to take a break, Ducky offered to get a cup of coffee for Jimmy, who accepted graciously. While making coffee for his assistant, Ducky made himself another cup since he was still quite thirsty. Even though it was a cold day, his throat was parched.

Finally, fifteen minutes later, Gibbs came in with a case. Things were about to get busy. As Ducky walked outside toward the van with Jimmy, he felt a twinge in his bladder. However, it was nothing he couldn't handle until later, so he kept walking.

Unfortunately for Ducky, the drive to the crime scene was longer than he thought. About twenty minutes later, he was still driving and his bladder was starting to fill up more and more. Since he was driving, all he could really do was cross his legs, except he didn't want Jimmy to notice. After ten more minutes, they arrived at the crime scene.

Although he knew he should start assessing the body quickly, Ducky moved very slowly, slightly hunched over. While he was able to give an accurate description about what happened to the dead marine, it was becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate and keep his legs still. When it was time to move the body into the van, he clenched his teeth and used as much strength as he could to keep himself from leaking. After placing the body in the back of the van, Ducky grimaced as he thought about the long ride back.

After only five minutes into the drive, Ducky began to worry he wouldn't make the next twenty-five minutes. He could no longer keep himself from crossing his legs and squirming in his seat.

"Dr. Mallard, are you okay?" Jimmy asked, looking worried at the older man next to him. You were rather restless earlier at the crime scene. Are you in pain?"

Squeezing his legs together, Ducky simply replied, "I'm fine, Mr. Palmer."

"You sure?" Jimmy asked as the concern on his face grew stronger.

"Yes, I am sure," Ducky stated. "I just simply need to relieve myself, but it's nothing I can't handle until we get back."

"Well, it will be a while before we get back," Jimmy explained. "And considering your age, you might not-"

"Excuse me, Mr. Palmer!" Ducky exclaimed, his face blushing profusely. "I'll have you know that I have complete and total control over my own bladder! So, just shut up!"

As soon as Ducky had said that, Jimmy's face fell. He turned away, trying not to show how upset he was.

"I didn't mean to-" Unable to finish his sentence, Jimmy's eyes started to water. "I was just worried about you," he said. Seeing a tear trickle down the side of Jimmy's face, Ducky immediately felt horrible at his harsh words to the younger, sensitive man who obviously cared about him.

"Oh, Jimmy, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like that," Ducky said as he mentally scolded himself for losing his temper. "Please don't cry. I know you're only worried about me, but I'll be fine. Really!"

Jimmy turned to face him. "Okay, Dr. Mallard," he said, wiping his eyes and inwardly cursing himself for crying like a child who was just yelled at by his father. "If you say that you're going to be all right, then I'll believe you."

"Thank you, Mr. Palmer," Ducky said, hoping that he really would be all right.

When they finally arrived after twenty-five agonizing minutes, Jimmy said that he could bring the body to autopsy by himself so that Ducky could go and use the bathroom right away. Though it didn't take long for Jimmy to enter the NCIS building, once again Ducky found himself walking slower than he wanted to. However, with the team walking ahead of him, no one noticed him putting him putting his hand between his legs to prevent his golden liquid from coming out.

Finally inside, Ducky made his way to the men's room, only to be stopped by Gibbs himself.

"Where are you going, Ducky?" Gibbs asked. "Don't you have an autopsy to do?"

"Jethro," Ducky pleaded. "I have two cups of tea and two cups of coffee in my system. I can't do the autopsy efficiently with a full bladder like this. You know that caffeine is a diuretic, don't you?" Ducky started to clutch his groin even tighter.

"Okay, Duck, go," Gibbs said, patting Ducky's shoulder. "Just get back to autopsy right away when you're done, okay?"

"Yes, of course," Ducky said as he moved as fast as he could. By the time he got to the bathroom door, he could feel a spurt leaking out. "No, no, no! This can't happen. I'm almost there," Ducky said to himself. He went in and was just inches away from a toilet when the dam broke. He was now completely drenched and standing in a puddle of pee.

Ten minutes passed and Gibbs noticed that Ducky still wasn't back. He thought that maybe Ducky really did have that much piss in him, considering how desperate he looked, but something didn't feel right. Leaving the investigation to his team, Gibbs rushed over to the men's room. Upon entering, he saw the large yellow puddle in the middle of the bathroom. He immediately figured out what happened.

"Ducky, where are you?" Gibbs called. "Duck!" As Gibbs looked under the stalls, he heard what sounded like heavy breathing and a soft, but audible whimper.

Having determined which stall Ducky was in, Gibbs started knocking on the door. "Ducky! I know you're in there!" Gibbs exclaimed. "Please come out."

"I can't. Go away," said a hoarse sounding Ducky.

"Ducky, it's okay. It's me. I'm your friend," Gibbs said softly.

"I don't want you to see me like this, Jethro," Ducky spoke. "You won't look at me the same way again if you see me now," he claimed. His voice was shaking and it sounded like he was hiccupping.

"Ducky," said Gibbs, his voice laced with both sympathy and pain. "I would have understood. I- I have it too. You know how much I love my coffee. Almost every time I come home, I'm running on a full tank and I don't always make it to the bathroom in time." This caught Ducky's attention. "It even happened once at work," Gibbs went on. "I locked myself in the stall just like you did. I had to call Abby and ask her to bring me some clothes."

"Abby?" Ducky asked, wondering why Gibbs would ask a woman to meet him in the men's room.

"She was the only one I trusted not to judge me," Gibbs explained. "I was too embarrassed and ashamed to ask anyone else."

"Even me, Jethro?" Ducky asked, actually feeling a little hurt by this revelation. "I would never judge you for that. You should know that."

Gibbs sighed and put his hands in his pockets. "I do know it, Duck," he said. "And you should know that I would never judge you for it, either. Okay? Now, would you please open this damned door?" By surprise, the door actually opened right away, revealing a pants soaked Ducky with puffy red eyes. Without hesitation, Gibbs pulled Ducky into a hug and gave him a peck on the cheek. A small sob and hiccup escaped Ducky's mouth. "Let's get you some new clothes, Duck," Gibbs said, holding Ducky as tight as he could. "And I'll bring you your scrubs too. You have an autopsy to do." Gibbs cupped his hands around Ducky's face. "Give me what I want, and I'll make you dinner at my place."

Ducky smiled as a small shiver went down his spine. He was finally starting to feel somewhat happy after what seemed like a horrible morning. After changing into the fresh, clean clothes and scrubs Gibbs found for him, Ducky made his way to the autopsy room.

"Dr. Mallard!" Jimmy exclaimed, glad to see that his mentor was all right. "I was wondering what was taking you so long. Did everything work out like you said?" Ducky sighed. He really didn't want to lie to Jimmy about what had happened.

"Well, in a way," he said. "It worked out for me, but it didn't work out for the floor."

"What does that mean?" asked Jimmy.

"Honestly, Mr. Palmer," Ducky answered as he started to blush. "It means that you were right about what you said before. My bladder is not what it used to be. I urinated on the bathroom floor."

"Oh," was all Jimmy could say.

Ducky couldn't bear to look him in the eye. "I wanted to be honest with you, Mr. Palmer. I didn't want to lie to you about it, even though it would affect the way you look up to me." Ducky's voice was shaking again.

"Dr. Mallard!" Jimmy cried. "I- I don't look up to you because of your bladder control. I look up to you because you're brilliant at what you do and you're like- like- you're like a father to me! I love-" Before Jimmy could finish confessing his true feelings, he realized Ducky was in tears. "Sir? Are you all right? I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry-" Ducky threw his arms around Jimmy, giving him a great big hug.

"Me too," Ducky said, tears sliding down his reddened cheeks. "Me too. I love you too, Jimmy." Not surprisingly, Ducky was no longer the only one in tears at this point. Jimmy knew it seemed cheesy, but he felt like his heart was going to burst. He wrapped his arms around Ducky as he cried happy tears. Even though Ducky knew he and Jimmy had to get back to work soon, right now, all he wanted was to stay in the moment with his son.

Although the moment ended shortly and the two of them went on with the autopsy like nothing had happened, Ducky was still smiling. He still had a dinner to look forward to.