Speaking up for yourself .
Summary- Gabriella is sexually assaulted and she plunges into silence. Soon she is suddenly ignored and jeered at by the East High population, Including Troy and the gang. But why is the victim the one being put down. Gabriella spirals into a deep depression. Who will save her? TxG Two-shot
PLEASE READ THE NOTE BELOW:
WARNING. If sensitive to self mutilation or suicidal thoughts please don't read this stroy. This was hard to rate because It's very intense in some ways (see below) but if anyone reacts badly to the strong themes or thinks it is rated inappropriately please tell me and I will change it to M as soon as possible.
This story is dedicated to my friend. Times will get better, I swear.
Disclaimer- Don't own the characters, but I own most of the plot. I stole one idea from the movie, speak.
Italic is something that happened in the past.
Rated - T for language and suicidal thoughts and actions and Sexual abuse. (not graphic)
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Early morning Friday May 30th. 6:35 am
I Picked up the shiny, silver pair of scissors. I caught my reflection in the messy blade and scoffed. I threw them into the sink and slid down the wall, tears of confusion springing into my chocolate brown eyes. Should I do it? Or not? I stood back up and picked them up once again, being careful to not look into my refection this time. I took the sharper part of the scissors and carefully pointed them in the direction of my wrist. The blade was pressed to my skin, just soft enough to not draw any blood but applying just enough pressure to feel pain. One more push and it would be in, letting my emotions out in the form of ruby liquid. I shook my head and dropped the rusty pair of scissors. It took all of my might to drop them. I knew my mind knew better, but the pain was tugging at my heart to pierce the thin layer of skin on my tiny wrists, it was telling me it would help. That it would make the pain go away. My heart was arguing with my mind to pick them back up. I backed out of the bathroom, telling myself that it would just make things worse. Questions twirled in my sorrowful brain. Why would someone want to do that to me? Why did that happen to me? Why did they have to get so angry? And quite possibly the biggest question of all... How do I tell them? I don't know how to form the words to speak up. I don't think I can say the words that have been haunting me since that night. I knew then, I couldn't tell anyone... it hurt way too much. I feel if I put it in word form, it would be too real. I would have to face it and I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. Not speaking up hurt also because it let me in my mind... keeping it all in. So when I was alone it was the only thing in my mind, twirling around taunting me to do something that I shouldn't do. I was stuck in a never-ending word of pain, no matter what I choose.
I ran to my nearly too soft and comfortable bed and collapsed on it. Careful to cry the rest of my tears out before school the next day... but I knew it was no use. The pain was too deep and the tears would never subside. Not ever. Not even after all these days. I felt the pain piercing deep in my heart. I never thought I would be subject to pain this deep. I heard these horrible stories on the news or in books I've read. I've always sympathized, but you never know how truly horrible it is until you've been trough the traumatizing experience yourself. I realized my life had been pretty much untroubled before the events that had taken place during these days. Problem after problem tore at me during that week until I was nothing but a walking zombie. I was numb, as if I stood in the cold for days. It all started on saturday night, when the worst happened, the thing I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I put my face into my pillow, the memories tearing the last part of my sanity.
--
Late Saturday May 24th. 10:09 pm
I had been at a party, the best of the year, It was a Saturday and the night was young. I was with my group, the only people in the world I felt happy with and my boyfriend. Troy Bolton is the example of the most perfect, most fairy-tale like boyfriend you could ever imagine having...Well thats what I thought.
"Gabriella, you look absolutely amazing!" Troy had said, twirling me on his arm and whisking me away to dance. I had smiled, a true genuine smile, the last one it seems I would ever give out. How would I smile anymore? Because I can't and I know I wont... ever. There was no reason to smile.
"Thanks Wildcat!" I replied, the large smile not ever leaving and my eyes locked to his while we glided along the floor dancing to the velvety music.
"I love you with all my heart Gabriella. I'll never stop. Believe that." He whispered gently into my ear. He seduced me with his soft words, I was in deep and I knew it. He is my one and love.
"I'll always love you too, Troy." That was the truth, forever and always, even now.
"Hey, Gabriella I'm going to go find Chad really quick. I'll be right back. Find Taylor or someone to talk to, I don't think a pretty girl like you should be here by herself. It leads to trouble." Understatement of the year. I remember nodding my head and looking around for Taylor. I couldn't find her so I settled on getting a drink of punch. I put the punch in a cup and put it to my nose. Spiked. Great. I put the cup down and turned around and landed in his arms. No, not Troy's. It was Chris Becker, the senior. He was immensely popular and he always got what he wanted. He was East High's player.
"Excuse me." I said politely, trying my best to get away, I did not want want to talk to this guy. He was trouble, I knew that even then.
"What's a pretty lady like yourself doing here alone?" He asked, his breath smelled of pure alcohol. He had obviously been drinking the spiked punch and I knew I needed to get out of that guys sight as soon as possible. I'll never forget the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, the feeling that told me to find Troy quick. I sensed what was coming even then. I ran around him and got away free. Thank the lord I remember thinking. I ran out to the direction Troy went until I felt arms hold my shoulder. He got a hold of me and through me into the closet.
He clamped his hand over my mouth, his other hand reaching for my skirt pulling it down roughly. I felt tears prick into my eyes I sobbed and screamed until he took the one thing that was never meant for him.
My virginity.
--
Early Friday, May 30th. 6:45 am
I kept my face into my pillow and let out and glass-shattering scream, that in the end turned into a gut wrenching sob. I ran back into the bathroom... and did the one thing my mind was so against. The pain in my heart won the battle with my mind. I slid down the wall and onto the floor picking up the scissors. I took the sharp end of the scissors one more time and pressed it to the very part I had it on before. This time I pressed hard enough to see a bead of red liquid form on my wrist. I dragged it down the skin, the burn giving me sick pleasure. I dropped the scissors before I went way too far. They fell on the tiled floor, the blood splashed from the scissors to the tile as I held my wrist tightly in my other hand. I wrapped my wrist sloppily and cleaned up the mess. I hadn't stopped crying the whole time, the sobs ripping from my chest. I felt guilty and I hardly knew why. I couldn't do a damn thing to save myself this pain, except to speak up, which I couldn't do. He still took it from me, the thing I was saving for my true love. For my Troy.
--
Late Saturday, May 24th. 10:30 pm
After Chris had me in the closet, I heard people talking outside, they hadn't heard my screaming. I was hearing them... but what ever they had said had not made sense to me at the time. I was lost in a sea of pain and guilt. I felt dirty especially when his hands were roaming all over my body and couldn't do a thing about it. I felt violated, especially when he used me as a thing of pleasure seeming to think that I had no feelings. My screams of pain and sorrow echoed through out the closet as soon as he pulled his hand away. Chris got up after he was done and looked at me with disgust.
"Slut." He put his pants on and opened the door. leaving me there. I curled up an cried into my knee's, my shirt was torn up and my self-esteem was torn up even more. I pulled on my skirt quickly and I noticed bruises and cuts all over my arms and I felt lethargic. I curled up for what felt like and eternity. I soon gathered my face in my hands and went out the closet door, no one had noticed my torn up shirt as I ran for the nearest phone. I quickly dialed the three numbers I had learned from my mom in the kindergarden.
"Nine-one-one, state your emergency." I heard on the other line, I breathed deeply into the phone. How could I say it? The problem was I couldn't say it. "Were tracing your call." They said after my breathing was all they heard. After they hung up, I had no idea how long I clutched the phone in my hands. I was to frightened to even cry anymore. I stood there eyes wide with a phone in my hands.
"Gabi? What the hell are you doing?" Sharpay asked in surprise and anger. "Why did you call the cops?"
Once again my voice was caught deep in my throat. Sirens rang out through the neighborhood and I went out the back way and ran I turned around and peeked in the window, I caught blue eyes that were looking at me with confusion and anger. I ran all the way to my house and into my room tears had threatened to come, but I was paralyzed with fear. I could hardly believe what had just happened to me. l I was alone, my mom is out for a month long trip, leaving me alone in my pain and sorrow. I had stayed home all sunday, I didn't eat a crumb or move an inch. I laid on my bed through the whole day, crying. No one had contacted me, not one friend called me to see if I was okay.
--
Early Friday, May 30th. 7:00 am
I grabbed the scissors and added another long gash in my petite wrist. I knew I should stop but it was becoming a sad addiction, I needed the pain out and as fast as humanly possible. I threw the bloody scissors into the shell-shaped sink and wrapped my newly cut wrist. I went onto my bed and buried my face into my pillow and let the tears soak through once more. I'd never know exactly what had happened once I'd left the party, and I never did want to know. Walking into school that monday, I had a faint idea that no one would tell me either.
--
Early Monday, May 26th. 8:00 am
"Fuck you."
I turned around to meet the cold eyes of Zeke Baylor. Every time she would meet him eyes she would meet his brown eyes she would see compassion and friendliness but it was replaced with hatred, coldness, and sorrow. Sadness, confusion, and hurt etched across my petite face and hot, fresh tears welled up in my eyes. Please don't say they all hate me, I kept thinking. I couldn't say a word, I still hadn't said one word since saturday and I had a feeling I would stay mute.
"Tattle tail." He said walking away, turning his back on me. My stomach flipped uneasily. At that moment I thought back to Kindergarden when I told the teacher that this kid Brian had pushed me, I had been dubbed 'Tattle tail' for a couple days. I had a feeling this was a little different. I walked the way to my locker and carefully opened it. Suddenly something hit me in the back of the head and the object fell back down with a thud. I turned around and picked up a metal pen.
"Why don't you snitch, Bitch." A girl muttered walking past me laughing. I received glares from several students walking by and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly willing myself to wake up from this horrible nightmare. I wished to wake up in my bed on Friday afternoon, when I didn't have a care in the world. Everyone hated me. Everyone. I wandered if Troy hated me. It was then that I saw him for the first time that day, he was with the gang. They all looked at me. It wasn't in a nice, welcoming way, but it wasn't quite a mean way either. They looked at me as if they didn't know me. Then they walked away, as if I was not one of their best friends. As if I had not been there at all.
--
Early Friday May 30th 7:30
The rest of that day went by similar with jeering, pointing, laughing. Soon enough the entire school just completely ignored me, like I was a ghost. It was mentally exhausting, as if I wasn't already Mentally tired. I had avoided talking completely, interesting enough. I hadn't answered any questions at school, of course my grades were going to drop but what did I care? My mom had been busy and had not called. She had texted me a couple of time though, a couple good mornings that I answered politely and quickly.
Soon I was driving my self myself to school. Once in the school I went to my locker and went up to my savior, the only place that has peace at this god forsaken school. It was like a garden on the rooftop and it was seemingly abandoned. I come up here everyday before school now. I lay back on a bench and enjoy the quietness and it never fails to sooth me. I heard the bell ring and I saw Chris. I squeezed my eyes shut and walked quickly by. While I was walking by he laughed and muttered 'slut.' I let out a breath and got into my homeroom and sat down, this could not be happening. I spent the rest of the day wandering what would I should do, if I should do anything at all. I made up my mind that I needed to tell someone my story. Just spit it out as quickly as possible, but I knew it sounded easier than it was going to be.
The day went by relatively fast, soon it was time for lunch and as I had the past couple of days I started towards the rooftop garden. As soon as I hit the all familiar, faded stairs I stopped and turned around. Silence was going to be the death of me. As great the silence was for me, I needed it to stop. I needed to talk to someone, anyone... maybe not about that day but about something else. I walked carefully into the cafeteria. It was a little bit early to be there so the response to me being in there was not that large, but a familiar pair of eyes caught mine and I got lost into the warm chocolate eyes of my old teddy bear. Chad, I thought with affliction. We caught each other's gaze for a short time. I sighed feeling the familiar sharp feeling in the back of my nose. Tears welled up as I swiftly turned around in pain. I collapsed onto a cafeteria chair. I missed them, all of them. Sharpay and her clothes advice. Zeke and his warm baked goods. Taylor and her sense of humor. Chad and his lovableness. Kelsi and her kindness. Jason and his, well to but it bluntly, stupidness. And, oh god, I thought in agony and despair, Troy Bolton. I missed everything about him. The way he looks at me with pure passion and love even when my hairs up and my make-up is missing. The way he holds my hand in his and it fits with perfection. The way his eyes sparkled with delight every time I walked in the same room. It's true that I miss them all, with every fiber of my being. It may seem weird to miss these people when It had only been a week, but the phrase 'You never know what you got until it's gone' had never made more sense than it did to me now. When the world seems to hate you, the hours tend to feel like years while each minute is like an hour.
Chad walked over and sat next to me, silence ensued while I tried to keep my emotions in check. I would and could not cry, it only shows them that they had succeeded in ruining my life. I couldn't say that they ruined it though, I mean wouldn't it all be Chris' fault? I wanted to believe it was but something in my head told me to blame myself. I was guilt-stricken. What could've I done to save myself this pain. I could've stayed with someone at that party. I could've fought him harder. At this moment I realized it was inevitable, no matter what I would've done it would have happened. It was meant to happen I guess and that was not my fault at all. Chris holds the blame. I guess, however I am also at fault for half of my pain. I could've spoken up. I could've told them that I called the cops because I was-- I couldn't even speak it in my head. So how was I supposed to speak that out loud.
"Gabriella." Chad spoke up, plunging a hand in his bushy hair and then scratching the back of his neck nervously, his expression was empty. I looked at him then, with pained eyes. Should I speak, If so what should I say? I haven't spoken a word in a week and I knew the word I speak would be important. My mind couldn't put together a sentence for my throat to vocalize. I felt my mouth opening and without registering what I was going to say, a word escaped my chapped lips.
"Help." I breathed in a tiny pained whisper as tears escaped the sides of my eyes. That was what I wanted and what my mind was begging for this whole time. I needed help. Chads thoughtless expression turned into a saddened and pained one. He reached a hand out for shoulder and I recoiled.
"I'm not going to hurt you." He reassured me. I felt more hot tears escaping my eye's as he begged me with his eyes to explain my story. "Tell me."
I shook my head, the tears spilling over. "I can't." I told him, my voice not able to go above a quite heartbreaking whisper. "I can't" I repeated it a few times, convincing myself that I really couldn't.
"Please Gabriella." He begged. He cared too much and I knew I quite possibly couldn't ever say the words that had been haunting my dreams. In turmoil, I let out a sob and laid my head on the table. My mind was arguing with me. I knew I had to tell someone or life would just get worse.
"Pen." I whispered. He took out a pen. "Paper."
He ripped out a piece of paper from a sloppy copybook and placed it gently in front of me. I took the pen and held it so tightly my knuckles turned ghost white. With a shaking hand I lowered the pen onto the paper. I formed the word I and then the word was. One more word and the haunting secret will be expelled out into the air. My hand froze and I didn't think I could do it. I wrote the last word with such a shaking hand that the letters were mashed together... but no doubt legible. I folded the paper and pushed it over and that was definitely the hardest thing I ever had to do. The paper felt like it weighed 30 pounds. I pushed my head down onto the table, a sob ripping from my already tired chest as he read the three small words.
'I was raped.'
--
Alrighhht! That is part one. Part two will be up soon. I swear.
Now to clear things up. Gabriella will not be pregnant! Just to make that clear, it may be mentioned somewhere in the next chapter, but in case it doesn't make it in their I just wanted to make that clear. Again, part of the plot (where she calls the cops and people are angry) is kind of taken from the TV movie Speak. I know its a book too but I have not read it. I only saw the movie just wanted to clear that up before someone sues me. lol
Hoped you like it.
Part two will be reactions and aftermath.