I sipped the soup from my spoon slowly and steadily as my brother slurped at his. He set his empty bowl down and before it hit the table, it was replaced with mine. He looked at me accusingly. There was at least three fourths of soup left.
"I'm not hungry." I shrugged at him. Even if he wanted to protest, his grumbling stomach betrayed him. He pursed his lips and still tried to push the bowl back at me. "…It'll be no good if it isn't warm. I'm full already." I reiterate, but even as I said it I was willing my stomach not to rumble in protest.
It didn't, and my little brother accepted the bowl, already digging into it. Not that it was much. Papyrus roots and some stray lentils boiled in water, and then watered down even further as the days went by. But no matter how much water is added, our bellies never truly feel full. This is the last of the stew anyhow. There is no way I can water it down anymore.
"Zahra, I am turning seven in a week!" My brother proudly proclaimed, slurping down the last of the soup.
"Ah, that's right, you will be seven soon! You really are growing up fast. Leave it to me, I'll bring you something extra special for your birthday!" I grin, my head was already trying to work out a plan to fulfill that promise. Honestly, I had forgotten the date. The days always seemed to just blend together. Besides, I didn't really need to know the date. It's not like I have many plans dependent on it.
"Hey, I'm a big boy now, so does that mean I get to go with you to get supplies?" He tittered on staring up at me with hope filled eyes. He must not have noticed my jaw clenching and my lips pursing.
"Not yet, Shu. Enough of that, it is getting late. Go get one of your books and read it to me." I say as calmly as I can. He hopped up and ran to the bookshelf to pick a book. None of them were really all that interesting. Just random things I picked up here and there to teach Shu how to read. Most had pages or whole sections missing. After perusing for a few seconds he settles on a cookbook. How ironic. We own a cookbook, but no food. I made room for him on my lap and listened while he read to me.
I don't read very well. I only knew some basics that I passed on to Shu, but I make Shu practice every moment he can so now he reads quite quickly compared to me. After a few pages I send him to bed.
We lived in a one room home and share a pallet in one corner. But even now I know we cannot do that for long. Shu is getting far too big. But we were lucky enough to have a roof over our heads. A final gift from my parents.
Shu's breathing has evened out, he must have fallen asleep. I walk over to the pallet and pull the threadbare blanket over his shoulder. Even with the blanket he is curled up against the cool night. As I pulled the blanket up, I noted how bony he looked. He was a growing boy. He needs more nourishment then a watered down stew.
We need money. I looked around the bare room. There was nothing valuable left to sell. I have even let them chop off my hair to sell to some rich woman to make wigs for herself. But now I have nothing left. So all that's left is to go on a supply run.
I sit down in a chair and sigh. Shu has been asking to go on supply runs with me. Supply runs, that's what I call them. All Shu knows is that I go out for a night or two and when I come home I usually bring food and books. He is too young to take into account that we have no money for such things. Too young to realize that I am nothing but a common thief.
Even as a thief I have my set of rules. Steal from the rich. Steal what we need and nothing more. Never steal money. Always watch the house for weak points. Work alone. Don't make any deals. Don't get caught. Always have a back-up plan. And with these rules, I keep food on the table. Simple as that.
That's how I have been living my life. Just day by day; staving off hunger for just another week, before falling back into its clutches. And so I steal. Again. Over and over, as the days pass by. An endless cycle that is the only thing keeping us alive.
A few more years. That's all it will take. Just a few more years for Shu to grow up. That is the only way to break the cycle. But until then, I have to continue it.
In quiet moments like this, I often wonder how my father viewed me from the land of the dead. I wonder if he ever found mother. Sometimes I can see him shaking his head at me, disapproval in his sky blue eyes. Shu has those eyes. Bright and sparkling like the water rushing through the Nile. My mother had honey brown eyes that I inherited. But mine don't dance like hers; mine were dull, somewhere in between brown and gold. More like the color of dirty straw. At least Shu has never looked at me with disapproving eyes. At least not yet.
My father, who was a soldier, who was so moral. Always telling me to do what is right. That our pharaoh would protect us. My father, who was slaughtered by a nameless bandit while on duty. What would he think as he saw his daughter stealing from the mansions he used to protect? Who set aside her morals and what was right.
"Well what am I supposed to do in this world to survive?" I asked the phantom silently. Of course he doesn't answer. How could he? There was no answer to such a question. Perhaps in my own way, it is a small retribution. To those people who allowed my father to die; and then strut around in their fancy new clothes while his family was left starve when he protected theirs with his very life. Aren't we owed some retribution?
In this world, it was men who ruled. I have no place in it. I learned that after father died. When my mother was left here alone with us to waste away. I don't even have rights to this house. It belongs to Shu. At six years old he already has more rights than me. Yet he is still too young to work. I can't get a job. Nobody will hire a woman from the streets. I can't own land. I can't get work. So what are my options? Prostitution? I have too much pride for that. For now. Marriage? Not likely with my body wracked with hunger. I have no dowry, and any curves or feminine qualities puberty should have given me were stolen away by hunger.
And so I steal. If I am put to death for it, then so be it. That beats starving to death like mother, whose cheeks were so sallow the skin hung off it, whose stomach bloated up and it got to the point where she would throw up anything we gave her. I shook my head to rid of those images.
No point looking into the past. It never changes. No point looking too far into the future, it is constantly changing. Just focus on now. Just survive until tomorrow. And then the day after…and on and on. Until something can break the cycle.
That's why Shu has to grow up fast. He was lucky enough to be born a boy. I taught him as much as I could, simple math, forced him to read until he could do it effortlessly. Hopefully that is enough of an edge. He can move up in the world. He can move beyond this cycle. He can have food on his plate every day; have a big house and perhaps one day a pretty girl in his arms.
Moonlight streamed from the window and I sat down on the floor and began to scratch a crude map into the dirt. I've been watching this house for a while, and there is a lapse in their guards. One of the guards routinely takes a nap two hours before dawn. To be fair, the nap never lasts long, but it is long enough. Better yet, I saw one of the maids go in with a purchase of some melons.
I briefly considered how I would smuggle an entire melon out, and considered not getting it at all, but then again; I did promise Shu something special for his birthday. His first bite of an expensive melon would be something special.
I considered how many trips I could make into the mansion before I had to disappear off the grid again. Probably about three. Maybe even more. These rich people don't really notice when their food goes missing. They do tend to notice when their books go missing, though. And when they start to notice, it is time to move on. On to the next house, to the next meal, just to survive the next day.
I committed the makeshift map and plan to my memory before kicking the dirt, erasing all evidence. Now, to find a backup plan. Something to fall back on if I get caught. That isn't usually too hard to find. People who own big mansions like this always have a lot of hidden dirt. Affairs, illegitimate children, forgery, some even outright treason. It just takes a little bit of snooping.
I am not above blackmail. If that's what it takes to survive, then I will lie, blackmail, steal, and cheat. It's essential I get some leverage the first night, even if it is just a threat.
I went into the corner of the room and pulled a long string with pieces of wood and strung them across the room under the window and stretching across the door. If anyone walked in, the noise would certainly rouse me. Last, I snagged the small sheathed knife and tucked it into the belt of my tunic before sliding into the pallet with Shu.
I dug my toes into the mud as I pulled another papyrus root out of the murky banks of the Nile and dropped it into my basket. Shu was playing in the water a little ways off; trying his luck with the fish. Discreetly I snuck a look at the residence not too far off that was built right next to the great river. That was the place the next supply run was going be.
It was a well maintained property. The walls were strong; not a single weak spot. So that means I'll have to just go over them.
"…No problem." I mumble sarcastically to myself as I rinse the mud off of the papyrus roots. The thick, brown tubes looked unappealing, but are eatable.
As I washed them I heard a child whine behind me.
"But Momma, I don't like peas! I don't want them!" A boy wailed, pulling at the sleeve of his mother's dress.
"Ok, ok, how about carrots? You will eat those, won't you?" The woman smiled benignly at the child; putting the peas back and going for carrots.
I wonder if the hatred showed in my eyes. How despicable some of these rich families are. And perhaps I harbored a bit of jealousy too. That he could choose what to eat. That he wouldn't eat just because he didn't "like" it. Shu never complained. We had no right to. If dinner was whatever we scavenged from the trash, then that was that. No complaints, doesn't matter if it was good. Chances were we didn't like it. But we ate it. Because food is food.
"ZAHRA! I caught one!" Shu crowed, interrupting my thoughts. I tore my eyes away and looked to see him proudly displaying a fish the size of his tiny hand and laughed.
"Good, we can cook that up for tonight then!" I go over and ruffle his hair. He is soaking wet, but the hot sun will dry him off in no time.
I wonder if he remembered what a good meal was? He was barely two when father died. That was when our troubles began. Before, we used to eat full meals, we lived in a pretty house in the city. Father used to bring home candied nuts after he got back from work for us.
Even though I was seven when father died, I find my memory beginning to fade away. I have forgotten his voice; his laugh. Shu has his eyes, so I can never forget them; but I fear forgetting other things. Like how he used to run his hand over my hair before bed, or how it felt to sit up high on his strong shoulders. Those things are lost to me now. They left with all the good times when father died.
We had to move into a smaller, cheaper house. Mother tried everything she could to keep us alive, she really did. She never really ate anything herself. Rather, she would give her share to us. I didn't notice until it was too late. Until one day she fell to the ground and wouldn't get up, couldn't hold down food. A day later she was gone. Shu was five. I was nine. In two years, our family was ruined beyond repair.
It was then I realized that no one would ever help us. We were on our own. Any friends my father had as a guard cast us off, the pharaoh certainly doesn't care. It was then I learned the most important lesson of my life. That the only ones that will help us are us. That we can achieve nothing by depending on other people. That survival means we have to fight and claw our way through life.
"You there! Girl!" I was jolted out of my thoughts and turned to the voice. A man was giving a speech in the marketplace. It was obvious from the rags that he was one of us. Someone who knew what an empty stomach truly was.
I immediately regretted meeting his eyes. Now he was making his way over here.
"You, girl! Aren't you tired of eating crap like that? Tired of your belly aching of hunger? Come here tomorrow, when the sun is highest in the sky." He called, I put my head down and increased my pace, ignoring his voice as it faded into the background.
Another food riot. Nothing new. It will probably end just like the last one. With that man's head rolling on the ground. It happens nearly on a weekly basis in Egypt. And every one is quickly quelled. What do they think they are accomplishing? They say they are dying to make a statement. What statement is that? "I'm dead?" The pharaoh doesn't care. He just knocks down these riots down. Probably not even personally. Just sends his lackeys out to quell it. They have been happening for decades, and there has been no change. Why throw your life away? Perhaps it is because they have nothing left to live for. Perhaps I wouldn't mind that either. Dying by sword rather than by hunger. But I do have something to live for. And that is what separates them from me. Simply the fact that Shu is the one thing on this Earth keeping me going.
While he still depends on me, I will fight to stay alive. Because to be alone in this world is a fate I would consider worse than death.
It's strange, only after my parents passed did I realize how important Shu was to me. I wish I had enjoyed my parents company more while they were alive. And honestly, I only truly appreciated what being alive truly was when they passed. Sometimes I guess to have to look at death right in the eye to remind yourself that you are alive. To truly appreciate the blue sky, the sunlight that reflects in sparkles off the Nile; things that you cannot appreciate when you are gone. To remember that no matter what; life is worth living.
I bumped our front door open with my hip and deposited the basket onto the table. Shu handed over his fish and I began to coax some flames from the hearth. The smell was making my mouth water, but I deboned it and put the entire thing on Shu's plate. Which he then split in half and scooped into my plate. I was about to protest when he gave me the most stern look a six year old could give; eliciting a smile from me.
He continued that look until I popped a morsel into my mouth. Only then did he work on his. I nearly groaned at the sweet taste of the meat. It nearly melted on my tongue and I was reluctant to swallow it, wanting to draw out the taste for a bit longer. We don't get meat often. Even if I could steal it, there was no way I could find a way to preserve it. Fruit could be dried, but I couldn't make my way out with the amount of salt necessary to salt and preserve the meat. And buying that amount of salt was out of the question. Sometimes I dig in the trash of the butches and take the bones. I would put them in our stew and let it seep into a broth. Then we would chew on those bones, breaking them open to suck the marrow out. Every once and a while we find a snake and cook that up.
I put the last of the fish in my mouth and suck on it while I stir the papyrus root stew, scooping liberal amounts into both of our bowls. It'll be fine for today. After all, tomorrow I will be going on a supply run. As I know, the target home belongs to a famous general.
User Ramses.
And here it is! The Ramses Story I promised! What do you guys think so far?
Reviews are always welcome and appreciated!
Some name meanings:
Zahra: Flower
Shu: Air (God of Air)
Disclaimer: Of course I own nothing but my own characters :)
Hope you guys enjoyed!
~EternallySnowy