Chapter 1
Fluttershy was having a great day. She found a giant strawberry in Applejack's garden and was trying to eat it. She could only eat it in one bite, but her mouth wasn't big enough because the strawberry was as large as a house.
Nightmare moon told her all she had to do was dislocate her jaw like a snake and then she could shove anything in her mouth. Nightmare moon knew this because she dated a snake once. His name was Jaqquery Dack.
Applejack was skeptical but she had come to respect Jackery Dack's opinions. Twilight Sparkle came to take photographs of the event and Rarity came for the booze. Pinkie Pie showed up, but that was because she was lost. They were all very very excited.
But when Fluttershy tried to dislocate her own jaw, she drove her hoof through her skull, straight into her brain matter, squishing it within her skull into a compact ball. She snorted the chunks out her nostrils right into Rarity's eye!
Rarity screamed in paint as her retinas began to burn and melt. She thrashed wildly and bit instinctively into Twilight Sparkle's floppy ear. A fearsome wrench of her head tore off the ear all together and lodged it down her throat where she began choking on it.
Applejack was so amused by the proceedings she fell down laughing.
Meanwhile, Nightmare moon caught on fire. Her flesh began to melt and bubble with pus and subcutaneous tissue. The fire spread through the entire strawberry orchard and Fluttershy's brain matter squashed underfoot when Pinkie Pie tried to run. So she tumbled headlong into the thrashing form of Rarity, who instinctively sank her teeth into Fluttershy's tender abdomen, tearing a gash and sending blood gushing out like the sunset of a beautiful day.
Applejack grew bored and stopped laughing.
Nightmare Moon meanwhile crashed into a bunch of trees that all fell down on her and made the fire bigger. Her screams were dying into throaty gurgles. Jackery Daque was dead too. Fluttershy had been decapitated, and subcutaneous tissue bubbled from her neck where her head had once been.
In the meantime, Fluttershy's headless body tried to thrash off the head stuck to its foot and succeeded in hurling it across the clearing and straight into Pinky Pie's gaping mouth. She bit instinctively, and crunchy bones cracked her teeth into splinters.
Applejack decided to see what was on TV. These ponies were just so lame.
THE END