This story is set during the Collapse, right before the Darkness arrives in the system.
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."
The room was cool and clinical, looking like every other hospital room Kaedro had been in. But it was also different in a big way. He wasn't coming here to be healed but to be changed.
Fatal familial insomnia (FFI), an incredibly rare genetic disorder caused by a mutation in the PNRP gene. Kaedro knew everything about it by heart. Adult onset. Progressive neurodegenerative. Symptoms: insomnia, weight loss, lack of appetite, too high/low body temperature, and rapidly progressive dementia. No effective treatment. Fatal within 12-18 months of the first symptoms. He would die at the age of twenty-one.
His parents had taken him to the most advanced medical facilities the system had to offer, but every answer had been the same. The only thing to be done was to ease the symptoms and keep him as comfortable as possible. But his parents didn't give up and soon his mother was looking into Clovis Bray's Exo program. Not long afterward, they left for Europa. Him, his father, and his mother who, at the time, was pregnant with his soon-to-be little sister.
Every form had been signed, everything carefully explained. The standard procedure was to have his memory wiped after the transition was complete but Kaedro had no interest in forgetting his friends and family. The doctors and scientists had tried to talk him out of it but it was his decision in the end. Their explanations were very thorough but his answer stayed the same.
Soon, a mask was placed over his face and he was asked to count backward from ten. By the time he reached eight, he was slipping into darkness.
Kaedro awoke feeling very bizarre. He couldn't put a label on exactly what he was feeling, but he knew it was strange, almost like having all of his limbs fall asleep at the same time. With a great effort, he managed to lift one of his hands off the bed, nearly crying out in shock when he saw it. Flesh and bone had been replaced by white metal plating that covered his hand and crept up his arm until it vanished into his hospital gown. He wiggled his fingers and saw the hand do the same. He flipped his hand back and forth, making new gestures.
One of the doctors walked into the room, smiling at him. "It's good to see the procedure went well." She wiggled a handheld mirror at him. "Would you like to see?" Kaedro nodded. The doctor held up the mirror, allowing him to see his transformation for the first time.
The face in the mirror was that of a stranger. White plating covered most of the head but in some places, black plating and wiring were visible. A blue stripe was painted vertically down the face, ending where the nose should be. On either side of the head was a short antenna, giving the effect of ears that were no longer there. Two round blue optics stared back at him. As he studied the reflection...his reflection.
"It probably feels really scary," said the doctor sympathetically.
"...Kind of, yeah." He froze. The voice was still his voice...albeit with a mechanical undertone. "H-how is…?"
"It was synthesized from clips of you talking… Don't you remember reading out all the material?"
"I had dementia," said Kaedro, "It wasn't too far progressed, but there were gaps in my memory."
The doctor nodded. "Well, if you're feeling up to it, I'd like to talk you through a few things before we let your parents in." Kaedro nodded. The doctor put down the mirror. "As you know, you've undergone the procedure to be converted from a human into an Exo. The most important thing about this is while your body is no longer biological, your consciousness is still entirely human. Obviously, this sort of change will come with side effects. The most dangerous side effect is called Dissociative Exomind Rejection, or DER. It involves the human mind rejecting the machine body and has proven fatal in nearly all instances. To mitigate this, the Exo mind will 'reboot' itself in the event of too much trauma. DER is the reason why we wipe the memories of those who become Exos. Since you've chosen not to do this, it's more than possible that you will be rebooted in the near future. If you don't wish to forget anything in your past life, you will have to set up contingencies with your family to bring back your memories after each reboot. While this is extremely inadvisable, the decision is up to you. The more trauma the mind endures, the more often reboots may occur. It has been noted that twenty reboots are the maximum amount an Exo can go through without experiencing memory loss and memory damage. Do you fully understand the implications of this?"
Kaedro nodded again. He'd already known most of what he was getting into by deciding not to wipe his memories.
"Very well. Because you're now an Exo, you won't need to do things like eat, drink, or breathe but because your mind is human, you will have the impulses. Therefore, we've made it possible for you to respond to any such stimulus as though you were still human as it will help the mind balance with the body. Although you no longer have things like a biological heart and lungs, you still have a heartbeat and you still have the ability to breathe, among other things."
"I understand… Can I see my parents now?"
"Of course," said the doctor with a smile, "I'll go get them for you."
Living as an Exo was difficult at first. Kaedro startled every time he caught himself in a reflective surface and went through three reboots relatively close together until he learned how to manage his feelings a bit better. It was hard on his parents too. After all, going from having a biological son to one that looked like a robot wasn't easy. But they got through it as a family and it became much easier to handle after his sister was born. After all, she hadn't known Kaedro any other way.
Overall, life progressed as normal for him. He had a job he enjoyed, friends that made him laugh, and a family that he could visit any time he wanted.
But nothing good lasts forever.
Kaedro's hands tightened on the steering wheel as they flew down the highway. He checked the passing signs, hoping for an indication that they were getting close, but interpreting the Russian names took him much too long. Normally he would've used the car's GPS system, but how can you use GPS when the satellite was gone? A chorus of distant screams pierced the raised windows and Kaedro reached forward to turn the music up a bit more. He shot a glance at the nine-year-old sitting in the passenger seat. Her arms were wrapped around her legs and her chin rested on her knees as she gazed at the empty road ahead. He held back a sigh. He might be able to drown out most of the outside noise with the music, but it had no effect on the blasts that echoed across the landscape. He had told her that it was just thunder but Raven had always been a precocious child so he didn't think she entirely believed him.
She turned to look at him. "Kay-kay, where did all the other cars go?"
An unpleasant feeling settled in Kaedro's stomach as he tried to come up with something other than the truth to tell her. "It's just a light traffic hour, Blackbird. We'll probably see more cars later." His pet name for her usually never failed to elicit a smile, but this time her lips didn't even twitch.
"But there's always cars! And look! There aren't even any going the other way!"
"I know, Raven. But no other cars is a good thing, right? It means that we get to go faster!" To prove his point, he accelerated.
A small smile flashed across Raven's face. "I guess so… Where are we going?"
"Hmm… You like spaceships right?" She nodded. "Well, we're going to the place where the spaceships take off."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Are we going to space?!"
He chuckled. "Yeah, Blackbird. We're going to space." At least he hoped so.
Raven looked a lot less worried now, bouncing in her seat with anticipation. "Can we see Mars? And Venus? And Jupiter?"
He nodded. "Yeah. But first, we gotta get on a spaceship."
"I know. Did you get tickets for the spaceship? Were they expensive?"
"Don't worry about that. Just get ready to see lots of stars."
"If we're going to space, how come you didn't let me bring anything?"
"'Cause if we waited to pack things, we'd be late for our ship. I'm sure they'll have clothes and stuff for us on board."
"Are Mom and Dad gonna meet us there?"
Kaedro sighed. As much as he wanted to tell her yes, in reality, there was very little chance of ever seeing them again. They had gone on vacation to Rio two weeks ago, leaving him to watch Raven. It was one of the times when having children so far apart was extremely helpful, though Kaedro had to admit it probably seemed weird to people on the outside. Lindsay and Sean had been in their twenties when they had him and a little way into their forties when they had Raven. But despite the age gap, there had never been any love lost between the two siblings.
"They're on a different ship, Blackbird." He didn't believe it but he hoped it was true all the same.
He turned his gaze back to the road and slammed on the brakes with a curse. A field of cars paved the highway in front of them, all of them in an absolute standstill. People moved between the cars, frantic as ants whose anthill had been stepped on. Screaming and crying rose in from the chaos, mixed with the honking of cars and the distant sounds of explosions.
"We gotta get out," said Kaedro.
He turned off the car and reached over to unbuckle Raven's seatbelt. He stepped out onto the pavement and looked around. The cars were left sitting in front of the entrance to the Cosmodrome as the people abandoned them for faster entrance. He scanned the surrounding area for where they could be heading. Some way down the wall to his left, he found his answer. A three-orbed spire of a colony ship towered above them, a promise of salvation to those below. Kaedro grabbed Raven's hand and started to move. "C'mon Raven. We need to hurry."
"Why? Why are all these people walking? Is our ship gonna leave without us?"
"It's not gonna leave us. Don't worry." He entered and started following the signs to the ship's gantry, pushing through the clamoring hoard of desperate people. He found the stairs and began to climb, not wanting to risk waiting for an elevator that might not arrive.
Halfway up, Raven's voice piped above the chaos. "Kay-kay, I'm tired."
Wordlessly, Kaedro scooped her up and carried her the rest of the way. The gantry was packed with people, all shoving and shouting for a place aboard the ship. It worried Kaedro that he hadn't seen a single sign of staff anywhere, but he kept moving forward, overhearing snatches of conversation as he went.
A lot of it was regret about not bringing something or forgetting to call someone. Even more was prayers, hopes, and pleading. But here and there were rumors and bits of information.
"Whatever this is, Rasputin will take care of it."
"If he could have, he would've done it by now. I heard he shut down."
"Or maybe he made the calculations that we weren't worth saving."
"What about the Traveler? I heard it's on Earth now."
"Yeah? Hasn't been much good then, has it?"
"I heard the First Fleet was lost near Saturn."
"Probably won't be the only one, either. That is if these ships even make it off the ground."
"How could you say that?!"
"Heard a bunch of 'em were prevented from launchin'."
"By what?"
"Who knows?"
Kaedro pushed past the group, continuing toward the ship's entrance.
Raven slid down from his arms and took his hand once more. "What did they mean about ships not launching?" she asked.
"Nothing, Blackbird. Those were just rumors."
Then sirens began to blare and what had been barely controlled chaos in the first place broke down into a riot. People pushed and shoved, trying to get onboard. Kaedro saw one man go down, getting stepped on and kicked by the panicking crowd. It was worse the closer they got to the entrance of the ship where people were actually pulling others back to get a chance to board.
Kaedro had just stepped into the doorway when he felt several pairs of hands tugging at his arms. He tried to shake them off, but their grips only tightened. Desperately, he shoved Raven forward, pushing her through the doorway.
She turned back, reaching for him. "Kaedro no!"
"Go on, Raven! Get a seat!"
Tears were streaming down her face as the stream of people pushed them apart. "NO!"
"I promise I'll find you when I get on board! Go!" Right before she was enveloped by the crowd of passengers, Kaedro saw her nod. He allowed himself to feel grateful for a few seconds before he turned around to reckon with the people grabbing at him.
It took him some time to break away, but he managed it and was turning back to get on the ship, when a huge blast impacted the side of the docking bay, sending Kaedro flying into empty space.
He fell toward the chaotic rabble of people and cars, and the one comfort he had came from knowing that at least Raven had made it.
A/N: Well, these are a lot easier to get through than I thought. At least, now that I'm motivated to work on them. This is your first time getting a glimpse inside Kaedro's head, so I hope you liked it.
A couple things: I'm not sure how exactly the Exo process works so I just did what I felt worked. And I'm pretty much spitting on DER but I regret nothing.
Also: Progressive neurodegenerative means that over time, neurons will be lost.
Btw: The way Kaedro dies is the way our Guardian is speculated to have died in the game.
Aside from that, I'll see you guys next time!
- TheWolfParadox