Yeah, Pikana, it's late.

But there's a reason. And it's partly your fault…..TG me just because I "borrowed" 30 bucks!

Albino Pikachu ran around giggling, all bubbly and happy. Shocker, huh?

"You did this, didn't you?" Mr. Pichu asked Pikana irritably.

"What? What makes you think I did this?" asked Pikana, offended.

"….I've known you too long…..You did it," said the fedora wearing Pichu.

"…So?"

"What did you do to him?" asked Mr. Pichu, pointing at Albino Pikachu.

"Er, I think you mean her."

"….Of course….." Mr. Pichu facepalmed.

Albino ran up to them. She looked at Mr. Pichu.

"Aw, you're so fedorable!" she giggled, and pranced away.

Pikana snickered, and Mr. Pichu was about to puke.

"…Change her….Back…..Now…." he demanded.

"Why should I?"

Mr. Pichu clicked open his switchblade.

Pikana pulled out Malley.

Mr. Pichu pulled out his AK-47.

Pikana pulled out Bazookie, her bazooka.

Mr. Pichu pulled out his .45 Caliber Revolver.

The two jumped in their own fighter jets.

"….This is getting boring" interrupted Albino Pikachu.

Mr. Pichu jumped off his fighter jet, and pointed his AK-47 at her throat.

"Uh, Albino, if you can hear me past all that girlyness," Mr. Pichu whispered into the recently TGed Pikachu "FIGHT IT DUDE!" he shouted.

"Haha, silly boy! I have been stuck in his body far too long. I am free! Now, to write yaio." She laughed.

Mr. Pichu slammed her in the face with a baseball bat.

IT'S A ONE HIT KO!

"Oh, no you don't….." said Mr. Pichu.

"Well, that's sexist, assuming all girls like yaio…" puffed Pikana, offended.

"Do you?" Mr. Pichu asked, eyebrows raised.

"….Maybe…." said Pikana suspiciously, her eyes shifting.

"…."

"…"

"…."

"Uh…."

"…."

"So, I heard it was your Birthday….." said Mr. Pichu.

"…Yeah…."

"I didn't get you a present….."

"…."

"…"

Albino Pikachu woke up, giggling.

"Hehe, well this is awkward!" she giggled.

Mr. Pichu shot her with a laser gun, while the planets were all aligned.

Due to that, I guess, the girly side and the real side of Albino were split.

Girly Albino passed out….

The real one, or the one you all know, I guess, was on the floor. He woke up.

"…" no one said anything.

"So, uh, who's the hottie on the ground?" asked Albino, indicating his female side.

"…"

"…"

WHAM!

"Did you have to hit him in the head with your baseball bat again?" asked Pikana "You use that too much on him."

"…Would you rather I use it on you?" the chu asked, brandishing his bat threateningly.

"Never mind."

"So, what should we do with her?" asked Mr. Pichu, indicating female Albino.

"Eh." Pikana fired her into Orbit with a cannon.

"…OK…I'm going to make you a birthday fic now….." Mr. Pichu walked away.

Pikana looked at the unconscious Albino.

She put an empty beer bottle in his paw.

Several hours later….

Albino woke up.

He looked around.

He looked down at the beer bottle in his hand.

"That explains it. Maybe I should stop drinking…." He pondered.

Pikana walked by.

"Yes you should."

"Touche, Mrs. Druggy."

"You win." She walked away.

Mr. Pichu walked by, a monocle and tophat, carrying a cane.

"You're both such terrible examples." Exclaimed Mr. Pichu in a rich, sophisticated British accent, "Also, you're still asleep. WAKE UP, YOU LOSER!" He whacked him in the face with the cane.

Albino woke up.

He looked down at the beer bottle in his paw, and threw it away.

Mr. Pichu was sitting nearby, playing Mario Galaxy 2.

Albino got up.

"I gotta make Pikana a birthday fic!" he exclaimed.

"Too bad the laptop's down for two weeks."

"!1!one!" he screamed dramatically.

"Yes, it is."

"Dang it!"

And that's why!

Anyways, shut up! Here it is damn it! I expect a birthday fic about me and an adventure about waffles next April! *sniff*

How Pikana and Pikachu met. Yuparoo…

One fine day, Pikachu was a Pokemon. Not just any Pokemon, mind you! A Pokemon so special, he had the word special written on his Pikachu forehead in AWESOME SAUCE. And that awesome sauce had the word epic written on it by Arceus him/her/itself. And on the word epic, in very tiny print, was a silly yaio story written by Mew, that pervert! MewtwoxLucario, what the hell, Mew!

Well, I'm getting too far into detail, let's just say this Pikachu is special.

Anyways, he lived in the overused Smash Mansion… Wait, let's be original! *clears throat*

Pikachu doth live in thy old style Smash Castle, along with all thy other naives and maidens.

Nah, new style castle it is then.

Pikachu lived in the wondrously huge smash mansion, decked in flags embroidered with a Smash Ball. Master Hand likes balls, what can I say? Several catapults were armed around every tower, and a moat filled with very hungry Feraligatrs and Totodiles, surrounded the old stone structure. The castle was cracked, yet mighty, as if flipping age off with a mighty grin on its face, saying "Screw you, deterioration!"

There were 4 towers on each corner, each with a flag of a different item. One was a Beam Sword, the the second a Parasol, the third a grinning Freezie, and the fourth, a hammer. Why? Master Hand was getting bored of the Smash Ball flags.

Anyways, Pikachu lived on the fourth floor, in a grand room, with beautiful silky curtains covering a huge, marble window, overlooking the moat. He could see the charged of Primids sent by Uubat, Tabuu's twin, get eaten by the vicious alligator Pokemon, so he was pretty used to gore. And the turrets uncharacteristically mounted by every room defeated all the flying enemies. But, he'd never see REAL gore until he met her…

Very far away from the castle, was an abandoned castle. It used to be where the Melee tournament was hosted, but after a freak accident took Young Link, Roy, Mewtwo, and Pichu's lives, the castle was haunted, and abandoned. The 4 spirits haunted the castle, and no one went there in ages. It was cracked, broken down, there was a lava moat, a dragon, and it dangerous.

But that all changed one day when Master hand called a meeting in the dining hall, everyone sat at the long, ovular table, Master Hand floating at a podium, Crazy Hand twitching at his side. The crazy left hand glove thing had knight helmets on each of his fingers.

"Well, I'd like to say two things today." Master Hand announced "First of all, Crazy Hand has gotten those helmets stuck on his fingers."

"Sadface" said Crazy Hand in a robotic voice.

Toon Link raised his hand.

"Yes, Toon Link?" The calmer of the two hands asked.

"Crazy, I've always been wondering, I've been reading stories lately, and some portray you as a guy, others as a girl. Which are you? Or are you genderless?"

Crazy Hand cackled.

"I'm a MAN!" exclaimed Crazy Hand in a manly voice, punching Toon Link, who flew out of the castle.

"…Well, any who, we've also received a letter from a mysterious source. Crazy Hand, go fetch my reading glasses.

Crazy Hand floated away, and returned with a oversized pair of glasses, and set them on Master Hand's palm.

"OK, it says something about a being from another dimension being kidnapped, how her other worldly power could destroy us all for what we did to them, yadda yadda yadda." Master Hand yawned, and floated away, throwing the letter on the ground.

Pikachu followed as all the Smashers broke up, bored as well.

"Master Hand, aren't you concerned at all?" asked Pikachu.

"Not really, I'm getting old anyways. I don't care if I die. If you want to quest, I'll let you, and you can take someone with you if you want." Sighed the Hand.

Olimar walked by.

"Uh, Olimar, want to help me save all the Smashers?" asked Pikachu.

"Meh, whatever." Olimar said.

Later…

The two stood on the other end of the drawbridge, the Smashers all waving goodbye. Even the Totodiles and Feraligatrs waved goodbye, Primid arms stuck in their teeth. Lovely. Olimar, a backpack filled with survival supplies, and Pikachu, headed off.

Olimar brought some Pikmin with who helped lighten the load on his back by each having backpacks as well. Olimar held the map out in front of him, and the letter.

"Well, the letter seems to have come from The Melee Castle." Observed Olimar.

"How would you know? You weren't even here when we lived there." Pikachu asked suspiciously.

Olimar's eyes shifted suspiciously.

He clubbed Pikachu on the head with a Purple Pikmin, took his wallet, stole some money, put it back in Pikachu's pocket, and ran away, the Pikmin scurrying after him.

After some time, Pikachu awoke.

"What the heck was that all about?" Pikachu asked "And why does my wallet feel suspiciously lighter?"

Pikachu shook his head, and started walking.

"Great, no map, no food, nothing to defend myself with, and I'm getting hungry…." Sighed Pikachu, but suddenly he noticed a decaying wooden cabin. Blue torches were burning on both sides of the door.

"Maybe I'll find something in there that's useful." Pikachu walked in.

He was shocked to see a man in a dirty blue overcoat, with a purple scarf over his face. He had brown boots and was standing in the middle of two blue torches. A typewriter on a nearby table sat next to some conveniently placed boxes of ammo.

"Got sumthin' that might interest ya, strangah." The man opened his coat, and there was ammo and guns.

"Ooooohhhhhhhhhhh…. Can I has them?" asked Pikachu.

"If you got enough cash, strangeh." Said The Merchant.

"Uh, I got some pocket lint."

The Merchant pulled out several gold bars.

"Ahh…I'll buy it at a HIGH price!" said the Merchant.

"Uh, deal."

And so, with the money he got from the pocket lint, Pikachu bought a shotgun, a semi-auto rifle, a rocket launcher (single fire), ammo, a combat knife, several grenades, a MauserC96, and a .45 caliber revolver magnum. He took the ammo on the table, and walked out, armed and dangerous.

"Come back any time." Said The Merchant, closing up his overcoat.

"Meh." said Pikachu, rather bored.

Pikachu walked on the old dusty trail to the Melee mansion, all guns and knifes holstered.

Suddenly, a purple liquid oozed out from up above the ground, and formed several Giga Primids. Pikachu pulled out the Mauser (for those of you who don't know, the Mauser is a big wooden powerful handgun used by the Nazis in World War II, it has a full auto mode as well), set it to auto mode, and laid waste to one, but the ammo was used up quickly, so he ducked behind a tree, avoiding a giant Primid punch, and reloaded, and hid behind the tree, in cover, shooting the Primids as they advanced.

At the worst time possible, Pikachu had to reload, and one of the Primids grabbed Pikachu, and began to squeeze him to death. Pikachu cried out in pain. Was this the end!

A funny sounding voice began to sing out.

Link!

He come to town!

Come to save Princess Zelda!

Ganon took her away, and now the children don't play!

But they will, when Link saves the day!

Hallelujah!

Link, fill up your hearts!

So you can swing, your sword with power!

And if you're feeling down,

The fairies will come around,

So you can be brave and not a sissy coward!

HALLELUJAH!

And at the word hallelujah, Toon Link finally landed on the Primid, and crushed him. He accidentally activated the tornado spin.

"!" screamed Toon Link, spinning around at a high velocity like a top, his sword slashing through Primids.

He eventually stopped, dizzy, and about to puke.

Pikachu was freed as the Giga Primid's hand was sliced off.

The shadow bugs turned back into a puddle, and blew away.

"Toon Link! You saved me! How can I thank you?" asked Pikachu.

"Get me a Tums." Toon Link muttered, falling on the ground.

Meanwhile, at the Smash mansion….

"Crazy Hand, what are you doing?" asked Master Hand, floating into his office.

"Well, um, you see…" he began.

"Are you trying to snort my desk again?" asked Master Hand.

"…Um, well, yes…" Crazy Hand said nervously.

"We don't even have noses! You don't need to try and snort it anyways!" Master Hand yelled.

"You don't even have eyes. You don't need glasses!" Crazy Hand retorted.

"….Touché" sniffed Master Hand.

Uh, anyhoo..

Finally, after much walking….

"We're here!" exclaimed Toon Link.

The two stopped. They were about to step on a ragged wooden bridge suspended over boiling lava.

They were about to step forwards, but several rough Pokemon jumped off the castle.

A Zangoose, a Dragonair, and a Charizard all jumped down, a purple glow in their eyes.

"You shall not pass, you stupid rat and retarded looking boy." Said The charizard in a calm voice. Something about its voice was familiar…..

"Hey! I'm cartoony!" said Toon Link indignantly.

Charizard kicked him in the lava.

Time seemed to slow down.

Pikachu stood around looking, time had frozen, but he hadn't.

He noticed Toon Link falling, but seemingly suspended in midair, the Zangoose was frozen in mid-blink, making him look quite dopey. The Dragonair was just there.

Slowly, in a ring of light, a Pikachu descended from the clouds.

"Are, are you an angel?" asked Pikachu.

The Pikachu chuckled. His cheeks were red like any Pikachu's, but his eyes were too. And his fur was bleach white. He shook his head.

"No, I am not. I am Albino. But, that is unimportant. A friend of mine from another dimension has been kidnapped by the Spirits of Mewtwo, Pichu, Roy, and Young Link. He is possessing these Pokemon to do his bidding. I shall send you one of your friends and one of my creations to aid you. You must stop the spirits and rescue my friend. With any one of our powers, they could destroy anything." The Pikachu said softly. "I would rescue her myself, or she could get out, but they have some strong dark energy preventing our kind from entering…. You must rescue her…. Or your world will most likely never be the same….."

"What, are you like a god?" asked Pikachu, confused.

Albino chuckled, "No, but I have that amount of control over you. But I believe the only way for this to work is for you to do this as of your own free will. Now I must go. My brother is calling me. Good luck. You have a pure heart, young one…." And, wordlessly, Albino closed his eyes, and floated back up into the clouds.

Time slowly went back into motion…..

Toon Link cried in terror as he plummeted, but Red flew forwards, riding on HIS Charizard's back. Toon Link landed on Charizard's back, and the three were flown to back where Pikachu was.

The Zangoose branded his claws threateningly, but some other claws came from the ground and grabbed it's leg. A Sandslash burrowed up, brandishing its claws at the Zangoose.

"Twitch find this unfair matchup!" chirped the Sandslash happily "Twitch make it fair! Twitch also thinks he should stop talking in the third person!"

Toon Link pulled out his sword, Charizard cracked his knuckles, and Twitch brandished his claws. They began to do combat with the three possessed Pokemon. Pikachu rushed forwards to help.

"No, just go!" exclaimed Toon Link, getting slashed in the face by the Dragonair as he was distracted. It grinned evilly. Toon Link attacked with a vengeance.

Pikachu scurried down the bridge, boards falling underneath him. He kicked open the castle doors .

They slammed shut, and Pikachu could hear Mewtwo's evil laugh.

"Pikachu….You can't stop us….." Mewtwo stepped forwards from the shadows, as did Pichu, Roy, and Young Link.

Mewtwo created chains from shadows, and tied Pikachu up, and lifted him off the ground by six feet.

"Now, any last words, foolish Chu?"

Pikachu was about to give some heartfelt speech about honor, but Olimar burst through the door, still running.

"OUT OF MY FREAKING WAY!" screamed the alien.

The ground began to shake.

A pikmin stampede ran across the bridge, following Olimar. They cried in glee and threw down coffee cups, and stampeded over Mewtwo, Pichu, Young Link, and Roy. Not Pikachu though. He was suspended. Remember?

Olimar walked up, twitching in…..maybe excitement…?

"Dude, where's the bathroom?" asked Olimar. Pikachu shrugged "I think Master Hand removed them when we moved."

Olimar ran away screaming.

"Now to find the friend Albino was talking about." Pikachu said.

"Her name is Pikana." Pikachu could have sworn he heard Albino talk.

"Um, OK?" Pikachu swerved between crowns of hyper Pikmin and looked everywhere. Dining room? Nothing but some old cake. Kitchen? Just a few rusty knives. Pikachu put them in the trash so no hyper Pikmin could find them and pick them up. Every room was just a few dusty beds.

"…P…Pikachu…." Mewtwo's calm voice beckoned him.

Pikachu scurried out into the main hall.

Mewtwo, Young Link, Pichu, and Roy lay broken on the floor.

"We…. Were just a shell of our original selves…Thank…you for..p….putting us to peace. "

And with the end of that sentence, Mewtwo's muscles relaxed, and the purple glow left his eyes. Number 150, Kanto's finest, Mewtwo, was finally put to rest.

And with Mewtwo's being put to sleep, his influence on Roy, Young Link, and Pichu ended.

Outside, the possessed Pokemon stopped fighting, and flew away except Zangoose, who agreed to go back with Red, much to Toon Link, Twitch, and Charizard's relief, they were starting to lose.

Olimar and his Pikmin walked back in the room.

"Even though I didn't know them as well as you did…..I'll bury them for you…. In the front yard of the Smash Castle."

With a tweet of his whistle, Olimar's Pikmin scurried about, finding boxes, putting the 4 fallen Melee retired in them, and Olimar and the Pikmin carried their boxes home, some Pikmin holding up Smash Brothers flags in their honor….

Toon Link and Red walked up.

"Uh, where's the Sandslash?"

"I caught him and the Zangoose." Said Red, patting the 4th and 5th Pokeballs on his belt

"Ah, well, I'm going to find…Pikana, I think her name is…." Said Pikachu.

Pikachu found her in the main room, tied to a chair by author proof chains.

"Yes, that's her." Whispered Albino softly in Pikachu's left ear, it seemed like. But when he turned, the bleach furred pink eyed godlike creature was not there.

Pikachu stared. She was beautiful. Her blond hair, not fur, but hair. She wore a purple backpack, a red hoodie, a black skirt, and beautiful eyes.

He walked up, breathless by her beauty, and bit the chains. They snapped off.

"Thanks, those jerks had me chained up, it was author proof, and they took away my damn weapons, and….." she stopped complaining when she saw him. Love at first sight.

After they went home, and she introduced his to the wondrous realm where authors can leave and enter dimensions from, they got to know each other, and you know the rest.

God damn, this is some of my best work. And pretty long, too.

And you thought a lame PM was my only gift. That was just to fake you out…

Yeah, happy birthday, late, but you know why, and uh, yeah.

….*braces self for inevitable glomp*

~Albino