Like stars burning holes right through the dark, a naruto fanfic

This is easily the longest oneshot I've ever written, and even though I'm not particularly pleased by the ending, I'm still vaguely pleased by this if only because of its length and the fact that I haven't written anything in this style in a very, very long time. If anything, it was a nice change of pace, and a really good way of getting back into writing slow burn. :x

I listened to a lot of Passion Pit while writing this, if you were curious. Also, I'm really glad I managed to fit my headcanon of Lee being a transman in this fic somehow. Despite being trans myself (nonbinary) this was my first time writing an openly trans character, and more than anything that was most telling learning experience of writing this entire story.

While editing this, I also realize that for a story about sex, there's an awful lack of actual sex in this story. Sorry about that.

Tuesday 30 May 2017: Edited to fix typos and sentence fragments and the like.

Like stars burning holes right through the dark
By Tabine

･

There's a story here, she swears — just give her a moment or so to figure it out.
(A NejiTen friends-with-benefits university AU.)

･

And everything is going to the beat
And everything is going to the beat
And everything is going —

"Sleepyhead"
Passion Pit

･

In the beginning, it's hardly love — either at first sight or otherwise. But it could be. Maybe.

At least, that's what they'd say, if either of them actually believed in such a thing.

(For now, though, it seems to work.)

･

Once upon a time, a pair of strangers meet up in a bar.

Well, in a manner of speaking, anyway. Honestly, it's more like they sort-of know each other, in the same way it's socially acceptable to be Facebook friends with someone without knowing them super well if you've met them in person at least once. And they've actually met multiple times in person before tonight, since it's a small world and somehow they know all the same people and he's been her roommate's friend-slash-rival-or-something since they were, like, thirteen (she really does have no idea what they are, though — then again, Lee did have a habit of forming the strangest relationships with people, so maybe she shouldn't be that surprised). Not that it really matters, though, because all Tenten really cares about at the moment is the fact that it's thanks to Neji that she isn't currently sitting at the bar by herself like a complete loser while her friends are off dancing and getting with other people and just doing whatever.

That's because she's too busy doing whatever with Neji — which can mean any number of things, actually, but in this case means sex.

She's having sex with Hyuuga Neji.

If she's being honest with herself, Tenten's still not entirely sure how it happened. All she knows is that at some point over the course of the evening — probably a little after that last round of shots (so what if she was a little bored and more than a little lonely, tequila had definitely sounded like a good idea at the time) — she'd decided that kissing him was a good idea. So she did, and he'd kissed her back, and one thing had led to another, and now they're in his apartment and naked and, wow, she really had not expected someone as reserved as him to be so good at this. And, okay, so maybe she's a little (really) drunk, and had always found him a little (a lot) attractive, and had sort of (seriously) wondered what doing something like this with him might be like for the longest time (she definitely does not have a crush on Neji, by the way, no matter what Ino says), but. Whatever. She'd passed the point of caring long ago.

It's not like any of that really matters, anyway, since they don't know each other any better or worse by the end of it all.

And that's just fine by her, Tenten decides, when she drifts off to sleep hours later with Neji's arm around her waist and his dick pressing against her thigh: that's just the way things are supposed to be.

･

"I have to say, I'm somewhat impressed — I didn't even notice you were gone until I woke up."

Tenten blinks, cradling her phone between her neck and shoulder as she shuffles her pile of hastily-scribbled lecture notes around. Biochemistry is going to be the death of her — finals are right around the corner, and she is absolutely dreading it. "How did you get my number?"

"From Lee." Ah. Of course — she really should have known, even if it's still nearly impossible for her mind to wrap itself around the fact that the two of them have been friends for so long. Talk about opposites attracting. "How was tutoring?"

Okay. That's sort of creepy, how he knows that. Tenten tells him just as much, and adds suspiciously, "How did you know I was tutoring, anyway?"

Neji hardly misses a beat. She swears she can hear the smirk in his voice when he replies smoothly, "It's not creepy: you mentioned it last night, in between all the screaming and moaning. You're very loud, by the way — one of my neighbors left a very amusing note on my door this morning, if you're interested in reading it later."

The way he says it makes it sound like a proposition, and Tenten feels her face grow warm. But, no, she tells herself. Like Neji would ever do something like that.

(Because you definitely wouldn't mind if he did, says a little voice in her mind. The voice sounds way too smug for its own good, and Tenten hates it. Since you definitely have a crush on him.)

Pretending she isn't flushing to the roots of her hair (and secretly very glad Neji can't see her at the moment, and that Lee isn't home — he's at work, putting in as many hours as he can now before his long-awaited surgery and its subsequent recovery time will prevent him from going in again for at least a two weeks) she chooses to not dignify the comment with a response.

"Are you doing anything right now?" she blurts out instead.

Well, shit. That was definitely not what she wanted to say.

(Yeah, right, the little Inner Tenten in her head quips up. She sounds annoyingly smug. What was that you were saying about being propositioned?)

"Are you really that eager for more?"

Tenten scowls, and wonders if he's ever been taken aback by anything before in his life. And, well, yes, she might be interested in another round with him between the sheets, but God knows Neji and his insufferably huge ego certainly don't need to know that. "Well, are you? Free, I mean."

Neji sounds far too amused by all this. She really hates it. "And if I am?"

"Because," she snaps, "I got only four hours of sleep last night, thanks to you, and I'm so braindead from teaching seventh-graders algebra all morning that I can't study for my biochem exam."

From the other end of the line comes the sound of a sharp exhalation — does he honestly find this whole thing funny? What a jerk. "I fail to see how either of those things are relevant to my current availability."

"They're relevant," Tenten manages to bite out, "because I'm out of coffee powder, and Lee's at work all day so I can't ask him to bring me something on his way home, and I need caffeine now if I want to get anything done today, and you're going to pay for it. Like I said, it's you're fault I'm in this mess, anyway." Pinching the bridge of her nose, she takes a deep breath and slowly counts to ten. "So?"

He says nothing for a few moments, and there is no doubt in Tenten's mind that he's doing it just to mess with her. And then, without warning, he tells her, "I'll pick you up in ten minutes."

･

True to his word, Neji shows up in front of her apartment exactly eight minutes and twenty-four seconds later. They end up making out in his car for a good long while, though, from almost the exact moment her butt touches the leather of the passenger seat. And they probably would have stayed there longer, too, or at least moved things inside once his hands slid beneath the old Konoha-U T-shirt she'd stolen from Lee, had it not been for the insistent pounding of Tenten's caffeine-and-sleep-deprived brain, because seriously.

As good as kissing Neji is, coffee is always, always, going to be so much better. Guaranteed.

Even Inner Tenten can't argue with that.

So, with faces flushed and breathing ragged, they pull apart from one another, buckle themselves into their respective seats, and head off. Soon enough, they're settled at a corner table in the coffee shop two blocks over, where they spend the next hour-and-a-half talking about little, trivial things, and she's sort of pleasantly surprised to find that Neji is not only a decent conversationalist when he's not being an asshat, but that talking to him is actually kind of nice, and not nearly as awkward as she thought it would be.

That's why she invites him into her apartment when he drops her off, afterwards, so they can continue their conversation. At least, that's what she tells herself, even though she's hardly surprised when they find themselves in her bedroom barely three minutes later, where she pushes him up against the wall and wastes no time in sliding her hands up his shirt and dragging her nails along his ribcage (Neji hisses when she does that, and Tenten thinks he might just like it) and his breath is hot on her skin, and —

Well, Tenten still doesn't care, not really, because Neji is still good at kissing, and he's still really good at sex (seriously, where did the guy learn how to give such good oral?) so she makes an effort not to think anything of it at all when everything's said and done and he tells her to text him some time just before he leaves.

But once he's gone, it's like someone flipped a switch and the rest of the evening passes by agonizingly slowly. At least she manages to get her stuff for biochemistry done, and feel halfway decent for her upcoming exam.

Still, it's only after much internal deliberation that Tenten ends up texting Neji that very night, a little after Lee gets home from his double-shift at the gym.

To: Neji
From: Tenten
Hey what's up?

To: Tenten
From: Neji
Nothing much, just homework.
But if I didn't know any better I'd ask if that was a euphemism for something.
Or a proposition perhaps?

His response is almost instantaneous. Tenten laughs (because Hyuuga Neji is actually really funny when he wants to be — who would have guessed?) and tells him she was wondering the same thing about propositions earlier, and Lee looks at her curiously from the kitchen before heating up some of Friday's leftover Chinese takeout for dinner.

･

Anyway, that's how it all begins.

Well, this part of the story, anyway.

(Tenten's not very sure about the rest.)

･

The first thing Tenten notices upon boarding the bus to campus the next morning is the smug gleam in Sakura's bright green eyes. She winces, well aware of the conversation sure to take place on their commute, but shuffles towards her friend all the same because she'd prefer facing the Spanish Inquisition (in this case, Sakura) rather than being squished between hot, sweaty strangers on a smelly bus during the remaining twenty-or-so minutes left until they reach campus.

Plus, Sakura saved her a seat.

(Inner Tenten is quiet, but oh-so-decidedly smug.

Regular Tenten is not amused.)

"Hey," she says flatly, settling herself into the conveniently empty seat to Sakura's left and adjusting her backpack before taking a sip from travel mug of hazelnut coffee. Monday mornings sucked.

Returning the greeting with a chirpy Morning, Ten!, Sakura grins slyly and leans toward her conspiratorially. "I heard you had some fun this weekend," she begins, trailing off expectantly with a smirk.

Tenten groans. Yes, she expected the interrogation, but that doesn't mean she can't react to it, right? "Let me guess — Ino told you? No, wait. It was Temari, wasn't it?"

Sakura's still smirking even when the bus lurches forward, sending their knees knocking together painfully. "Ouch. Sorry. No, actually. But also, yes. Hinata saw you making out with him at the bar on Saturday night, you texted me to ask me to tell Lee you were going home with Neji, and then Ino told me she saw you guys getting coffee yesterday when she and Kiba were out walking Akamaru." Her smile's so wide, now, it could give the Cheshire Cat a complex. "Were you guys on a date?"

"He owed me coffee," Tenten replies stiffly. So that was why Lee had been looking at her strangely last night. It explained a lot. "That's all."

"Ino said she could see the hickies, through the window," Sakura adds. "You know, I can see them too."

Miraculously, Tenten doesn't do a terrible spit-take. She's not entirely sure how she managed that. She also doesn't use her free hand to cover her neck, but that's mostly because she doesn't want to give Sakura the satisfaction of seeing her like this. "It wasn't a date, Sakura," she says.

"But you slept with him."

Tenten nods slowly. "I slept with him. Then I got coffee with him after." She doesn't mention the part where she almost slept with him again before the coffee, and how she definitely slept with him again afterwards. "It was just a casual thing, okay? That's all."

Sakura purses her lips in thought. "So then he doesn't know you're crushing on him, right?"

Tenten rolls her eyes and sighs. "No, Sakura," she says, taking another sip of her coffee. "He does not."

"Are you going to tell him?" The smug and vaguely maniacal gleam has left Sakura's eyes, now, and she's looking at Tenten with genuine sincerity and concern.

Sometimes, Tenten forgets how awesome her friends can be. Usually because they're pretty much assholes approximately ninety-eight percent of the time.

(It makes that remaining two percent even better, actually. Not that she'd ever admit it.)

"No," she says, and leans back in her seat just as the bus drives over a pothole and her coffee slips out of her grasp, spilling all over her shoes. "Probably not."

･

She and Lee are waiting in line at the local Bubble Island the next time they meet.

Four days have passed since then. "Then" meaning "the morning after they did stuff (meaning: they had sex), and she woke up in his bed (because:they had sex), he called her (reason: to apparently tease her about leaving without waking him up after they had sex), and they got coffee (her logic: he owed her coffee for keeping her up all night since they had sex), and they did more stuff (which once again means:they had sex), and he told her to text him (this may or may not have something to do with the fact that they had sex — she's still trying to figure that part out)", that is.

(Not that she's keeping track or thinking about it a lot or anything, of course. Since, you know, they had sex. And that was it.)

By all accounts, it is an entirely unremarkable affair: Tenten's in the middle of deciding between mango stars and rainbow bubbles when she feels a hand on her shoulder, and it is out of pure, simple reflexive that she jerks away from the sudden touch, even as Lee whoops with joy beside her.

"Neji! You made it!"

Well. She definitely had not been expecting that.

(That's a lie, by the way. Lee had asked her if it was alright that he'd invited Neji along, and while Tenten had assured her roommate she had no issue with it — and definitely had not hoped Neji would take Lee up on the offer — she certainly hadn't expected Neji to, you know. Actually show up. So her jerking away from him like that is totally a legit reaction, okay.)

Slowly, she turns, and lo and behold, there he is, the Hyuuga prodigy himself. Tenten steels herself, mentally prepared for the slew of innuendo and thinly-veiled dirty remarks sure to come, or at least something about she hadn't been so unwilling to let him touch her just a few days before —

"Of course I did — it's been a long time since we last did something like this."

— except they don't.

In fact, he's rather civil to her the entire time (though he does raise a questioning eyebrow when she orders a small basket of curly fries and strawberry mochi, in addition to her drink — not that she really cares, of course, because she's hungry, damn it). Which, for some reason, is all kinds of weird. Then again, it also sort of makes sense — sure, she's slept with Neji twice, now, and they've sort-of-kind-of-maybe been talking enough since that there is no doubt in Tenten's mind that they're probably due for another private encounter sooner or later (the mere thought of which sends a rush of wet heat between her legs), but still.

Never mind. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Especially since it's all so unremarkable.

It's unremarkable enough, in fact, that Tenten doesn't think much of it when she gives Neji an awkward one-armed side-hug after pressing a kiss to his cheek and he reciprocates by settling his hand on her hip when they part ways afterward, or notices the intrigued look Lee sends their way.

･

They don't get a chance to talk much after that incident at Bubble Island, though, because then it's finals week and everyone's busy studying and working and generally trying not to die, and it's hard to keep up with people because of that.

But that doesn't stop Tenten from texting Neji nearly every day after that, or for him to Snapchat her with pictures of his desk (how he still manages to keep it so neat despite all the studying he has to do, Tenten will never know). So when finals are finally over, there's really nothing stopping her from showing up at his place with pizza and beer and over a week's worth of pent-up sexual frustration, either. And he's certainly in full support of it, too, if the way they're not even in the bedroom when clothes first start coming off is any indication.

Plus, they've both managed to four-point the semester, somehow. Frankly, Tenten thinks it's a miracle.

･

It's sort of ridiculous, honestly, how often they run into each other after that. Except in some ways, Tenten supposes it's actually not. They go to the same university and are almost always on campus, and have a lot of the same mutual friends, like Lee and Ino and Naruto. Even if they're in completely different degree programs: he's a pre-med student enrolled in their university's seven-year direct-med program (because of course he is), and — okay, so she's still not entirely sure what she wants to do, yet, but, whatever. She's double-majoring in biology and mechanical engineering: that's got to count for something.

In the end, she decides it's just a lot easier if she doesn't question it, or the way it doesn't take them very long at all to cross the lines that separate "one-night-stand" and "casual sex friends" to "actual friends who happen to have casual sex". Because, okay, so they text each other every day, and when they happen to meet up on campus it only ends in sex sometimes.

(Not that they haven't continued to meet up at their respective apartments, of course, but that's beside the point. Neither of them live on campus.)

Like that time they'd ended up doing it in in his car after she'd convinced him to go to the gym with her — that had been good, but they'd almost been caught by campus police. So, yeah — she could cross that off her bucket list, at least.

Nine times out of ten, however, they just happen to be in the same general areas at the same time, and just get lunch or coffee or whatever is most convenient at the time. Which Tenten thinks is pretty nice, all things considered, especially when the semester begins to pick up, and everyone is so swamped with work and classes and other things that being able to meet up is a feat in and of itself. It doesn't help that since it's the summer term, most of her friends — the ones who aren't tied to campus by classes or internships or work, and have gone home as a result — aren't even around to hang out with. Maybe that's why they end up running into each other all the time.

Of course, Neji isn't the only person Tenten meets up with, during the little free time she has between classes and studying and tutoring and work — he just happens to be the one he sees the most often.

For some reason, that fact seems to make people very confused.

"So let me get this straight," Temari says, jabbing at the control panel of the treadmill to increase the machine's incline. "You guys have sex, and get food and go out together, and talk all the time, but you're not dating?"

"Nope. The topic's never even come up, and I plan to keep it that way." Tenten shrugs. "Anything wrong with that?"

(By the way: she's made it a point to keep her crush on Neji a secret — the only people who actually know about it are Sakura and Ino and obviously her.)

Temari looks at her from the corner of her eye and scowls. "I didn't say that." She pauses, purses her lips, gives Tenten a beseeching sort of look. "There is something wrong, though, if you're doing all this and the sex isn't good. Please tell me the sex is good."

Flashing a smug grin is the only response Tenten deigns to offer, and Temari rolls her eyes, looks away.

"Ew. I'll take that as a yes, then."

･

Eventually, it doesn't take very long at all for them to fall into a routine. Between their work and class schedules, it's probably for the best. Although it is sort of lame to admit that they actually plan sex, so instead they decide on times that work for both of them where they can just hang out and stuff — and, well, if they end up doing the dirty anyway, that's just fine.

Tenten thinks it's a good plan. She hasn't actually asked Neji, but decides he probably thinks so, too.

･

Neji visits her at work, once.

It's almost the end of May, which means midterms are just around the corner and Neji really should be studying or in class or at work instead of visiting her, but instead of telling him all that the only thing Tenten can think to do is just blink at the brown paper bag he's just dropped onto the library receptionist's desk before looking up at him. "What's that?"

"Lunch." Neji sets a clear plastic cup on the desk. Iced green tea, no ice.

She glares at him, but accepts the offering anyway. The smell of warm bread and soup floods her nostrils, and her mouth waters. Tenten chooses not to mention how she'd already decided to order something from the Jimmy John's down the street just before Neji had shown up — Panera is way better, anyway. Especially when she doesn't have to pay for it.

Tenten's reaching for the cup of green tea when Neji snatches it back quickly, holds it just beyond her reach. "A thank you would be the polite thing to do."

Her glower grows, and Tenten frowns at him. "Fine. Thanks."

Neji leans toward her until their lips are barely a hairsbreadth apart. "That wasn't what I meant, Tenten." His expression is unreadable, but his intent is clear. The sound of her name on his tongue sends shivers down her spine. Her throat goes dry; the opposite can be said for her panties.

Well. Shit.

Fifteen minutes later, when she's allowed her mandated half-hour lunch break as a campus employee, Tenten meets him in the tiny supply closet in the basement level of the campus library, where she slides quickly to her knees before him and reaches for the waistband of his jeans without a second thought.

"Thanks, Neji," she whispers against his sensitive flesh; Neji's breathing grows unsteady, and he buries his hands in Tenten's hair, wordlessly urging her on.

He starts to visit her at work a lot more, after that.

･

Convincing people they aren't dating is actually a lot harder than it sounds. Mostly because people seem almost too willing to believe her when she says that. Honestly, it's kind of annoying.

She tells Neji, once. They're at his place, and actually not having sex for once, since it's way too hot out and just the thought of being close to another warm, sweaty body makes Tenten want to gag. Still, it doesn't stop her from sprawling unceremoniously with Neji across his bed with their legs tangled together (Tenten's stripped to her underwear, courtesy of the weather, while Neji's in nothing but a pair of loose basketball shorts, but it still counts as being dressed) and watching Netflix on his laptop.

"Really?" he says. He seems amused, and looks at her thoughtfully from the corner of his eye. "What would make them think that?"

Tenten pretends she doesn't notice the way he's watching her, and traces her bare toes along his calf. She wonders what kind of sunscreen he uses to stop himself from getting sunburnt in the summer. "I'm guessing it's the whole 'casual sex' thing — but, see, the thing is that 'casual' already implies we're not dating." Tenten makes sure she's not looking at him. "Which, you know. We're not."

Neji doesn't say anything, instead powering down his laptop and setting it to the side before hovering over Tenten and pressing his lips to her sternum. She sighs, and he trails his lips lower, just as he slides her panties down her legs. "No," he agrees, nudging her knees apart with his hands. "You're right. You said it yourself: we're not."

･

(For days afterward, Tenten doesn't stop thinking about the way he said that — "You said it yourself: we're not." She sort of hates it, and the only thing she hates more is that she can't seem to figure out why.)

･

Between the two short and grueling sessions of the summer term, Konoha-U allows its students a full week of vacation time, free from academia and the stress it induces.

Most students spend the break by going off on trips, or visiting home for a few days in order to relax in the presence and company of family and friends — Tenten and Neji spend the entirety of it in his apartment, stepping out only when food and other necessities (like more condoms) are desperately needed.

"Have you ever done something like this before?" she asks idly, tracing random patterns along the defined muscles of his bare chest and torso. Break is almost over, and she is definitely not looking forward to the packed schedule of work and classes the remainder of the summer has in store for her. Still, a week of lazy overindulgences and sex had been a nice change of pace.

Glancing down at her naked form curled against his, Neji smirks. "Sex? A few times."

Frowning, Tenten swats his shoulder lightly. "I was being serious, you ass."

Neji shifts from his comfortable position on his back to lean over her, supporting his weight on one elbow. Tenten thinks he looks particularly delectable like that, with his pretty eyes and kiss-swollen lips and the dark spots of love bites across the now slightly-tanned skin of his neck and chest and shoulders.

"So was I," comes the husky reply, dark and alluring and facetious all at once — because this is Neji, after all. He's a jerk, but somehow (at least where she's concerned) he's able to get away with it.

And then it looks like he's about to say something else, and Tenten freezes. Her heart stutters in her chest.

But all he does is lean closer and kiss her instead, and Tenten decides it's just easier to go along with it, no questions asked.

･

(If she's being honest with herself — and she rarely ever is — Tenten might say that this is the part where everything begins to change.)

･

A few nights before he's suppose to go home for his surgery, Lee makes the impromptu decision to spend the night out on the town.

"I won't be able to for a while, after the surgery," he reasons, when Tenten shoots him a misgiving look, since this is Lee and he's literally the last person ever to suggest going out and partying all night long — even Hinata's suggested going out before, a handful of times (like that time they all went to her favorite club, when Neji and Tenten first slept together). "So why not?"

She can't really argue with his reasoning, though, especially when she knows firsthand how hard it is for him to sit still for even a few minutes (never mind a few weeks — she doesn't like to think what a pain in the ass recovering from his surgery will be like, just given Lee's personality). And Lee doesn't say it, but Tenten knows what else he's thinking, too — how this would be the last time he'd be out like this during his transition, before moving on to the next part of his journey.

It makes sense (a testament to their friendship, she thinks, even if they've only really known each other for a few short years), which is why Tenten ends up making a show of putting away her laptop and notebooks with a huff of resignation, looking Lee square in the eye as she fights the urge to quirk her lips at him in fond amusement.

She fails. It doesn't really matter, though, because Tenten's pretty much laughing when she gives in and tells him, "Alright, fine."

(Everyone knows she's very rarely able to say no to Lee, after all.)

And that's how she finds herself seated at the bar in the dark and sweltering club Lee's chosen for the night a few hours later, alternating between grinning at the mass of gyrating bodies on the dance floor (her roommate's version of the Cupid Shuffle was legitimately the very epitome of the "fire of youth", and Sakura and Ino definitely deserved an award of some sort for being able to keep up with him) and checking her phone for any new messages she might have missed when she last looked — thirty seconds before.

Beside her, Temari rolls her eyes and orders another vodka-lemonade. She asks the bartender to add some strawberry-flavored syrup to it too, if possible — her tone is saccharine, but the glint in her teal eyes is anything but sweet. Tenten doesn't blame the bartender for looking as though he'd rather piss himself than leave her request unfulfilled. "I thought you said you guys weren't dating."

Tenten purses her lips and glances down at her phone quickly. "We're not," she replies, craning her neck in an attempt to get a better view of the front doors of the club. She doesn't bother asking for clarification — they've had this conversation before. "We're friends, and we have sex. That's it."

Unsurprisingly, Temari doesn't seem convinced. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're a bit too excited for your booty call to show up."

"Rude." Tenten narrows her eyes at the older woman, turns back to her drink (an amaretto sour). "Besides, he's not my booty call." Because, really. He's not.

Then again, it's not like Tenten knows what he is — what they are, either. She doesn't like to think about it.

And it's for that reason that Temari rolls her eyes. "Well, whatever he is," she says, clearly unconvinced, "he's here."

It takes everything Tenten has within her to not react either immediately or violently to the news. Actually, she's pretty proud of the way she's able to keep the thrill of excitement out of her voice when she mutters an off-handed, "Oh, really?" at the news, even if she jerks her head to look from her drink to the door so quickly her neck cracks.

Neji's standing right there, arms folded over his chest as he looks around the club impassively for the rest of their group. Tenten raises an arm, waves to signal their position, and tries desperately to ignore the way his dark long-sleeved shirt clings to the muscles of his arms and shoulders and torso when he notices them from the corner of his eye and makes his way over to them through the crowd.

Temari seems way too amused, if the smirk on her lips (she'd somehow been able to find a shade of lipstick the exact same color as her eyes, and Tenten is still blown away by how good it looks on her) as she drains half her glass at once is any indication. "Of course you're not excited," she observes smugly, "and I'm a princess from a galaxy far, far away."

Tenten manages to tear her eyes away from Neji long enough to give Temari the finger. "Bitch."

With a laugh and a shake of her beautiful blonde head, Temari returns the gesture gracefully. "I know, I know — I love you, too."

･

Love isn't something Tenten's thought much about before, but when she wakes up in her apartment the next morning to find herself wearing her pajamas and Neji in the kitchen making breakfast for three (she dimly notes Lee's hungover form passed out on the living room couch, and Neji is almost smiling when he confirms all they did last night after getting back from the club last night was sleep), her heart grows fluttery and warm and her chest feels so incredibly light, the words are tumbling from her lips before she realizes what she's saying.

"Oh my god. I love you."

Neji glances up at her from the stove, where he's just flipped over what appears to be a blueberry pancake, and smirks at her, though for the first time since she's known him the look in his pale eyes seems unnaturally soft and unguarded. She can't be entirely sure, however, since the typical Hyuuga pretension is firmly back in place a moment later, and he asks casually, entirely unaffected by what she's just told him, "I bet you say that to every guy who makes you breakfast."

His sarcasm shocks her back into reality, and Tenten scowls. And just for good measure, she gives him the finger, too. "Bastard." She eyes the admittedly impressive stack of pancakes beside the stove. "You'd make a good trophy husband one day, you know — attractive, good in bed, makes great pancakes."

"I'm sure I have a few more redeeming qualities than that," he retorts, turning towards Tenten and pressing a steaming mug of black coffee into her hands. Their fingers brush, and Tenten becomes hyperaware of how the touch sends her nerves into overdrive. "Like how nice my legs are, for one."

Instead, she attempts to play it cool. She accepts the mug with a wordless nod of thanks, taking a seat on the linoleum counter as Neji turns back to the stove to attend to the latest pancake. "Duly noted — I'll be sure to add that and knows how to use a coffee maker to the list."

Neji lets out a small huff of laughter, just as Lee begins to stir in the other room. "I suppose I have nothing to worry about, then, if you're the one in charge of my resume for future relationships."

"Are you kidding?" Tenten's heart begins to flutter again, and she forces herself to laughs to hide her embarrassment — not that she's embarrassed, of course — even if it means she chokes on her still-too-hot-coffee as a result. "If I were you, I'd be running for the hills by now."

･

(Now is when things really start to change, and Tenten feels like an idiot for not realizing it sooner — it really fucking sucks.)

･

Realizing she is, in fact, in love with Hyuuga Neji, and therefore completely and utterly fucked, is an epiphany that comes to Tenten one fine Tuesday afternoon while she is sitting on a toilet in the second-floor ladies' restroom of the campus library.

A second epiphany comes minutes later, as she's washing her hands and making sure she doesn't have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

That second epiphany is this: she has to end things with Neji, ASAP.

･

The moment presents itself sooner than Tenten would have liked, when Neji invites her over to have dinner and watch a movie a few days before Lee's supposed to come back (he doesn't say it, but she knows that he knows that with Lee still at home and recovering from his surgery while spending some much-need alone time with Gai, she's been sort of lonely in her apartment without her boisterous roommate there to liven things up). So after work, she hefts her backpack over her shoulders and begins the familiar ten-minute walk to the edge of campus, where Neji's building is.

When she arrives and Neji opens the door for her, Tenten's nostrils are filled with the scent of Chinese-style fried rice, one of her favorite foods in the whole entire world. The only thing that distracts her from how mouthwateringly good it smells is Neji himself, because he's looking down at her with a soft smile and a tenderness in his eyes that makes her knees weak and ties her stomach into knots, and it's at that moment she knows what she must do.

So when Neji begins to lean down, presumably to kiss her, she stops him by pressing a hand against his chest. Ignoring the way she can feel his heartbeat beneath her palm, Tenten looks down at the toes of her old scuffed-up grey Converse and says flatly, "I can't do this anymore." She pretends her heart isn't breaking when she tells him that.

It seems to take Neji a moment to realize what she's just said. "Oh." He pulls away, and when Tenten takes a chance and finally looks back up at him, she's startled to find his face as hard and emotionless as a stone. "I see."

Seeing him like that is hard, and Tenten swallows thickly, tries blindly to fix the situation somehow — because even if she can't be with him, even if the only reason they really know each other at all is because they sleep together, Neji's still one of the best friends she's ever had. So she continues on, explaining as best as she can. "It's not you, Neji. It's me — it was, is, fun and all, but, like…" she falters, looks up at him beseechingly, begging him to understand as she tries again. "It was supposed to be casual — I mean, we're not in a relationship, and I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you."

Well. Fuck. She wasn't supposed to tell him that last bit. Tenten snaps her jaw shut and blinks at him stupidly, unsure of what to do.

Neji doesn't miss a beat, blinking at her in turn and taking a step back as he folds his arms over his chest. "And I suppose I wasn't supposed to fall in love you, either."

Okay, that is certainly a surprise. Tenten gapes up at him, shocked beyond belief. "What did you say?"

But he doesn't make a move to elaborate further, and merely clenches his jaw. "I think you should go," he tells her, setting a hand on the doorknob. "Goodbye, Tenten."

It's the last thing he says to her before slamming the door in her face.

･

Because here's the thing: emotions makes you vulnerable. Relationships make you vulnerable. They take away your independence and are just entirely too complicated.

And Tenten doesn't do vulnerable. She loves things being uncomplicated, without mixed signals and feelings getting in the way. She values her independence, and keeping the walls she has around her emotions and her heart tall and strong.

Growing up an orphan will do that to you.

But Neji's an orphan, too, and seems to have this uncanny way of making Tenten bring down those walls whenever he's around. Which is scary enough on its own — but to see Neji throw up walls higher and thicker than her own around himself when they'd ended things is even worse, and Tenten doesn't have any idea what to do.

She tries texting him, when she gets home, but he doesn't respond. He doesn't respond to any of the Facebook messages or Snapchats she sends him, either, except for one terse I don't want to talk to you right now Tenten sees in her inbox when she wakes up the next morning.

Her heart breaks a little more in her chest when she sees that, because she swears she can hear the ice in his voice as clear as though he were beside her at that very instant, and Tenten is almost surprised when the thought of it makes her eyes burn with the pinpricks of tears.

Almost.

･

Like most kids, Tenten had grown up hearing fairy tales and stories with beautiful princess and courages princes who found love in one another and ended their tales living happily ever after. But for Tenten, it hadn't been about that — she'd been more focused on the once upon a time.

Because, see, that was the thing about growing up alone. You couldn't have a story if you didn't know where to begin, and when it came to her own tale she had absolutely no idea where it began. It's scary and lonely and unknowable, and makes her feel very, very small.

But when it comes to Neji, Tenten thinks she can see the faint golden glimmer of her own once upon a time, and she can't quite tell if that's scarier or not.

･

Life has this really weird way of moving on, even when it feels like everything else comes to a standstill. Neji's still not talking to her, but she has other friends who are. She meets up with her academic advisor, who convinces her to apply for the university's biomechanic engineering program in the fall ("You've definitely got the grades and passion for it," Kurenai had said with a smile, "so why not?"), and finishes off the semester with a grade-point average of 3.87.

And Lee comes back, too — the surgical incisions on his chest are healing well enough, and he's been able to snag a receptionist job at the gym until his doctor decides he's well enough to resume being a fitness instructor. But that's all very little compared to the joy she sees in Lee's eyes, and his happiness is infectious. It's why she can't help but keep smiling, even when everyone ends up going to dinner a week or so after he gets back and Neji's the first person she sees among the crowd waiting for them at the restaurant Lee picked.

At some point in between all the joyous exclamations and congratulatory remarks, Tenten finds herself standing off to the side of their group of friends with Neji beside her. It's the first time she's been this close to him in nearly three weeks, since that disastrous night at his apartment, and she's not entirely sure what to do.

Fortunately — or not — Neji is the one who decides for her.

"Lee looks good," he says, before fixing his pale gaze on her. "So do you."

He's as stoic and reserved as ever, but Tenten doesn't quite know how to response. "Thanks." She shuffles her feet awkwardly, before noticing that their group has begun to enter the restaurant. "I'll talk to you later?"

The look he sends her, then, is unreadable. She tries not to read too much into it. "Yeah."

･

After dinner, their sizable group relocates to a nearby bar to continue the celebrations. It's a good place, popular with the college-aged crowd, and they even have specialty shots and drinks half-off their usual prince for the entire evening.

Tenten won't admit, but she's a bit too distracted to care — by Neji, and her, and them, and what they might be.

Except she doesn't know what's worse: her situation with Neji, or the fact that all of her friends seem to have picked up on it.

"Are you okay?" Sakura asks, taking a sip of her strawberry margarita and fixing Tenten with a piercing look.

Tenten snorts and takes a sip of her tequila sunrise. The sweetness of the grenadine on her tongue soothes the bite of the tequila, and she thinks it's a lovely metaphor for her current emotional state. Or some thing. She's never really been good at this sort of poetic bullshit. "Of course I am," she replies. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Beside her, Ino snorts in a very unladylike way and dips a chip into the bowl of spinach-artichoke dip in the center of the table. "You're drinking tequila, Tennie."

"So?"

"You only drink tequila when you're feeling down."

Tenten doesn't argue with that, but she does pull a face. "Okay, so maybe I am feeling a little blue." She forces a watery half-smile onto her face. "Hormones, you know? It's just one of those days."

"Are you sure it has nothing to do with Neji?" Sakura stirs her margarita, frowning at the melting ice. "Hinata says he's been pretty down lately."

It's hard to pretend she isn't interested in the news, but Tenten thinks she pulls it off splendidly when she turns to the pale-eyed woman with an air of feigned indifference. "What do you mean?"

Hinata shrugs and fidgets with the umbrella in her tropical fruity drink. "I don't really know how to explain it," she begins softly. Tenten leans closer — it's hard to hear her over the din of the bar. "He's just seemed very… off, I guess. More withdrawn than usual." She looks at Tenten from the corner of her eye. "I know you guys are… close," she adds, in a voice that would almost be sly if it were anyone other than Hinata. "Did something happen?"

Tenten shrugs her shoulders noncommittally, and doesn't do a very good job of not looking at the other side of the bar, where all the guys in their tightly-knit group of friends are crowded around Lee, congratulating him on a successful surgery and making sure he doesn't drink. Neji is smiling, and even laughs openly at one of Naruto's dumb jokes, and she feels her heart clench painfully. "We're just taking a break, is all." She doesn't mind admitting it, strangely enough. Everyone already knows they've been sleeping together.

Temari, who has been silently sipping her own drink until now, looks up at that. The expression on her face is definitely sly, and there's a knowing glint in her eyes when she asks, "I thought you guys weren't dating."

It's not the first time someone's said something like that, but for some reason it makes Tenten flush to the very roots of her hair. "We're not!" she splutters indignantly. "We weren't!"

Ino rolls her eyes and reaches for another chip. "Of course you're not," she replies, decidedly smug. "And I'm the Queen of Sheba."

But Tenten doesn't see that, or the way Hinata and Sakura and Temari are now watching her knowingly: Neji's just turned towards their table, and their eyes meet in the space between them.

Her breath catches in her throat, because Tenten's pretty sure the mix of emotion she sees in his eyes is a mirror image of her own. But a moment later he turns away, and it is then that Tenten somehow knows.

She doesn't want just sex, and she doesn't want to be vulnerable. She doesn't want a relationship, either: all she wants is Neji. But, maybe, it would be okay, being vulnerable and having a relationship with him beyond sex — she's let her guard around him so much, before, that she's surprised it's taken her this long to realize it. And even though she's rarely honest with herself, maybe this is something she's always known, but never really acknowledged.

Inner Tenten does a little victory dance, and Regular Tenten finishes the rest of her tequila sunrise in one great gulp.

Drunk actions betray sober thoughts, and all that. Or something.

"Where are you going?" Sakura asks as Tenten pushes herself away from the table and stands.

"No where," Tenten replies cryptically, and begins making her way to the other side of the bar.

Maybe he can feel her presence, because she's only a few steps away from him when Neji turns around fixes her with a strange, miserable look. There are dark circles under his eyes that would probably mirror her own, and Tenten hates that she might have been the one to do that to him.

"I'm sorry," she tells him, before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him soundly.

It takes a moment, but soon Neji's kissing her back just as enthusiastically, much to the delight of their friends (at least, if the whooping and cheers are any indication — and Lee's voice is undoubtedly the loudest of them all), and Tenten swears it feels like she's on cloud nine.

･

"Hey there, sleepyhead."

Neji groans and turns over, and Tenten decides that the smile he flashes her, then, is the most beautiful thing she's ever seen; his bare neck and shoulders and chest come in at a close second. "I must admit, I thought last night night was just a dream — I was convinced you wouldn't be here when I woke up."

Grinning, Tenten leans down from her sitting position and kisses him, pulling back only slightly to whisper against his lips, "Surprised?"

"Pleasantly so." His smile falters, just a bit, and Tenten prepares herself for the inevitable — they'd both been too distracted by lust and alcohol last night to properly talk things through. "Though I'm more curious about where we go from here." Neji meets her eyes, and she sees for herself her hesitance and caution reflected back at her in them.

"Wherever you want to, I guess." Tenten bites her lip in uncertainty. She owes him this much, the choice to decide what direction they'll move in.

Neji smiles at her again, boyish and shy and confident all at once. "How about forward?"

And it is in that moment Tenten realizes that whatever they end up being, it will be far from normal. Strangely enough, the thought comforts her, and she presses herself against him, brushes her lips against the apple of his throat. "Okay."

It isn't happily ever after, but Tenten smiles and decides that doesn't matter — it's a start, a once upon a time to her (no, their) own story, with someone she'd like to think could one day be her Prince Charming, and that's all she really wants.

･

The end.

I hope you enjoyed this story, as I had so much fun writing it — feedback and comments are greatly appreciated.

Thanks again for reading!