Written for the one hour pairing challenge. first to make the requirerment! (well pretty close)

Disclaimer: I own Nothing

Tomorrow Never Knows

Saturday, October 12th 1979

Lily looked at the white stick in her hand. Why? She thought, why now? Why now when in this world so many things are wrong? A tear rolled down her cheek. She stuffed the stick in the trash and leaned back against the shower wall. She cried. She felt so tired and so distressed, she just couldn't do it anymore. Her job at the ministry was driving her nuts and she hated James' job because she rarely saw him nowadays. Lily let her head drop into her hands. Why now?

Lily sat like that for a long time, she might have fallen asleep, but she didn't register it, she had lost all sense of time. She heard the front door open and footsteps in the hall.

"Lily, I'm home. Where are you?" normally she would have called back but today she stayed mute. James was the last person she wanted to see.

"Lily!" he called again, his voice a bit more distressed. Lily ignored him. she buried her face in her hands again.

"Lily! Lily! Lily, open this door please." so he had found her. She didn't answer.

"Lily, please come out." James said again. She heard the click of the bathroom lock being unlocked and the door opening.

"Lily." James said softly, picking her up and carrying her to their room. Lily felt safe in James' arms, she felt loved. He put her down on the bed and sat down next to her.

"Lily, tell me what's wrong. please." he said, she shook her head.

"Nothing, just, hold me." Lily said softly. James wrapped his arms around her and the feeling of safety returned.

"I hardly believe nothing would have made you lock yourself in the bathroom." James said softy.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready James, I promise. But now just don't leave me." Lily snuggled into James as he tightened his hold on her.

"I don't plan to." he whispered in her ear.

"I love you, James."

"Love you too, Lily." Lily smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

She woke the next morning to find the bed empty. She looked around and saw a note on the pillow next to her.

Lily, I've made breakfast. Come downstairs whenever you're ready.

James.

Lily smiled. She pushed the covers off of her with her feet and went over to the dresser. She changed out of her clothes from yesterday into a pair of fleece pants and one of James' quidditch jerseys, bushed her hair and headed downstairs. The smell of bacon and eggs cooking filled her nose.

"Good morning, Lily." James said when she entered the door.

"Morning, James." Lily replied. He pulled out a chair for her and smiled.

"Do you want some eggs and bacon?" he asked going over to the stove.

"Yes, please." he put a plate in front of her and sat down with a plate of his own. They ate breakfast in silence. That was what Lily liked about James. He knew when not to push her and when to stay quiet and let her rant. After breakfast they walked into the sitting room.

"Don't you have auror training?" Lily asked James as she sat down.

"No, I took the day off. Told them where I was and that I didn't care what they said." James answered. Lily smiled, but James could tell it didn't reach her eyes. James sighed and sat down

"Lily, what's wrong?" Lily sat down on the couch and buried her face in her hands.

"I'm pregnant." James was silent for a moment and Lily felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Lily, this is great news, why are you sad?" James said, smiling and puling Lily into his arms.

"It's just all wrong, James." James looked puzzled.

"You don't to be a mother?" he asked.

"No, I do. It's just...I can't give birth to a child in this terrible world. What if it dies? What if there's an attack? What if I die?" Lily began to cry and James held her tighter.

"Lily, what if it survives? What if you live to keep it safe? Lily, only the future knows itself. you can't worry about these things. Tomorrow is tomorrow, we can't do anything about it before it comes. All we can do is be safe right now." he said softly.

"But what if..." James silenced her with a kiss.

"Everything will work it's self out in the end. Tomorrow never knows."