It wasn't supposed to happen.
But it did. Recalling how long we've been "friends" certainly gave me time to think about what happened, about what we've done, and about what would happen next. She has been my best friend's girlfriend since birth and I've known her a little more than just that. That even though we see each other as plain as water, partly ,we have been seeing ourselves through it too.
She's twisted, insecure, and she causes trouble to other people to satisfy her whims or cover for her insecurities. It might sound cruel, but from the world we live in, that's just the basics of holding the universe in the palm of your hand. I've done those too. When she have sass and attitude on her, I have money to talk for me. Throwing away a thousand or two doesn't really hurt our pockets as so as we feel certainly good. And by that I meant free yet secured.
Free. Secured. How do we really define these two? I'd probably say that both are subjective the fact that everyone has there own meaning of freedom and security. We didn't really think about the consequences of our actions at the back of this very limo because I believe that we both felt free and secured, aside from the fact that it was utterly a great sensation.
The moment she stood up there, up the twinkling stage at Victrola, I saw a different Blair. Sure, she had curves. She had moves. She had beauty. And I had told her she was amazing. But aside from the things that I could notice with a first look, I saw a genuine smile on her face. Not like those smiles she had after getting an award. Not like those smiles she gave Nate after a quick kiss.
It was a smile of contentment. A smile that told me that she loved what she was doing. A smile that I couldn't get out of my dreams since she showed me.
But what's the use of daydreaming when it can't be a reality?
And I had never thought, not in a million years, that I would betray my best friend.