Conditional Love:
Rated T
Inspired by Annie Proulx's characters and the film of BBM.
Alma had been washing (and thinking) all day just about, taking her time - a good drying day, fresh and breezy but clouding up now. In a way she was enjoying her self, smiling to herself, and out here she couldn't hear the babies crying. She spied Ennis on his way back with the horse box – time to put her plan into action.
She rushed back to the sink; thankful the babies were still crying and did not attend to them. Watching Ennis unloading the horse she got on with her washing vigorously on the old wash board, making sure there was no trace of the previous smile on her face, and making sure she looked harassed.
Ennis came in, kissed her, and went in to see the now hysterical girls; noting the still sizeable amount of washing still to be done and that Alma looked tired.
Ages it took to quieten them, and even after supper they started up again. He loved his girls and sang lullabies in his soft, deep, pleasant voice until they slept. Completely worn out now he slumped on the bed in his old pyjama bottoms.
Alma came in and put her arms around Ennis from behind and held him, kissing his half turned face. Immediately Ennis was transported back to the mountain and Jack – when they were both exhausted at the end of the day they sometimes held each other like this - innocent, wrapped up in each other, loving each other.
Alma at this point, knowing Ennis was tired and vulnerable, started on again about moving to town, pushing the fact one of the girls had bad asthma attacks and she was scared for her way out here. Truth was, Alma wanted to get somewhere, have things, maybe Ennis could get a better job, maybe one day SHE could get a job – buy all those modern household appliances her sister had including a washing machine, why even buy their own place. Pushing the loneliness of the place for the girls she reminded him also of how lonely it had been for Ennis, raised on a lonely ranch in the middle of nowhere. Immediately the thought came to Ennis – 'I AM lonely' and he knew it was Jack he was lonely for.
To try to dispel thoughts of Jack, of his sorrow and loneliness, and to try to bring himself back to the present and his wife, he kissed Alma, touching her breasts. Still he thought of Jack – he needed him in his tiredness and loneliness. Turning off the light in the gloom Alma could have been Jack, the dark hair against the pillow. Ennis turned her and it wasn't Alma he made love to that night, but his own sweet Jack.
Alma, although she protested, saw all this as a means to an end. If Ennis wanted to make love to her like this so be it, she'd give him what he wanted – in the end she'd get her move to town.