Eyepatches Aren't Fashionable
A/N: Okay, I was away on a day out when my sister made a comment on eyepatches no being after my brother nearly poked my eye out during a meal at a chipper. It gave me the idea to write out a response about how our beloved hero would react if someone told DM that eyepatches aren't stylish enough. (I wouldn't have minded a temporary one though) Anyway, enjoy, and please leave positive feedback! Writers crave it, and I'm not an exception! ;)
Disclaimer: Only the pug belongs to me. Everyone else, Cosgrove Hall and Fremantle Media
...
Danger Mouse inhaled a deep breath of the warm air and looked at his surroundings. He was out on a casual walk through Hyde Park, and although he preferred being out on missions fighting crazy criminals, he couldn't resist it whenever his trusty assistant Penfold gave him the puppy dog eyes, and he agreed to a danger free afternoon.
It was nice enough though, surprisingly, and he and Penfold had walked amidst the rose garden, enjoying the beautiful flowers and their powerful scents. DM observed the different roses and quietly went through their Latin names in his head, as he watched his friend look at the English beauties with awe.
"Cor, no wonder the professor likes coming here for her lunch break!" Penfold remarked to his chief, who quietly nodded. "It's really nice!"
"Well, it's a change." The mouse replied, grinning at his ecstatic friend. "What shall we do next, Penfold?"
"I have no idea, sir." The little hamster replied.
"Now, now, there's no need for formalities, Penfold. This is our afternoon off, remember? You initiated it."
"I know, DM. Here, how about we get ice cream?" The hamster suggested.
"Capital idea- it's certainly the right weather for one." His boss agreed. "And if you don't mind, I know what we can do after that."
"Ohh, what will that be, chief?" Penfold asked curiously.
"You'll see." Danger Mouse replied teasingly, tapping the side of his nose mysteriously, and he chuckled at Penfold's perfected pout. "Come on, we'll get those ice creams, shall we?"
Penfold brightened, and almost immediately, he ran up and grabbed DM's paw. The mouse, feeling the contact, wrapped his fingers round his best friend's smaller paw. He loved spending time with his little friend, because it made them both happy.
...
Once they ordered their ice creams, they immediately decided to walk around and enjoy the sights of a famous landmark of their beloved home city. They enthusiastically tucked into their frozen treats, their expressions melting to one of pure bliss.
"Mmmmm, this ice cream's really good chief!" Penfold remarked, licking at his vanilla ice cream.
"It is, isn't it?" DM mused, as he licked his own Swiss chocolate ice cream. "Is that why you've decided to give your eyebrows some?" He added, snorting in an attempt not to laugh at the confused expression on his friend's face.
"Do I have ice cream on my eyebrows?" The hamster asked innocently. "I didn't notice."
"Well, you've got some up there, all right. Here, let me."
Fishing out a handkerchief from his sleeve, he wiped his friend's eyebrows clean of the offending substance.
"There, you're all clean now."
"Thanks chief."
"You're welcome. But honestly Penfold how does one get ice cream on their eyebrows?" Danger Mouse asked him as he stuffed his handkerchief back in its rightful place, reminding himself it would need to be laundered later.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just talented at being awkward." Penfold replied. He flushed a deep scarlet, causing his BFF to chuckle light heartedly.
"You're a silly sausage." Danger Mouse re-joined affectionately, shaking his head at Penfold, who could only giggle sheepishly.
...
Once they had finished their ice creams, the White Wonder and his assistant were on the move to their next destination.
"Chief, please can you tell me where we're going?" Penfold asked for what felt like the millionth time.
"Come on, old friend, we're nearly there." DM grinned. "Why ruin the suspense?"
Penfold pouted again, but when he saw that that were nearly at the Lake Serpentine, a thought popped into his head.
"Wait, are we going-"
He was interrupted as he suddenly tripped over DM's heels, and then he in turn fell on top of a black female pug wearing a mint green sundress which was pinched at the waist, matching mint sunglasses and a straw hat with a hot pink carnation in it.
"I'm dreadfully sorry, ma'am." Danger Mouse gasped, scrambling off the pug before offering his paw to her. Penfold retrieved her fallen hat from the ground and offered it to her.
"Well do mind where you're going!" She sniffed rudely, snatching her hat from the little hamster and wedging it back on her head.
"At least she could be more courteous!" Penfold remarked. "It was an accident!"
"Penfold, shush." The agent muttered. "Some people aren't worth bothering with."
"Oh, by the way, that eyepatch doesn't suit you. It's not really...how can I put this...fashionable?" The pug continued looking at the mouse's left eye when she said that.
At this comment, DM was thrown off guard.
"I beg your pardon?" He asked her in disbelief. His mouth was agape- no one had ever said that before!
"Well, it doesn't work with your outfit, darling." She informed him. "I mean, really? Eyepatches are for storybook pirates and little kids playing make believe."
On hearing her remark, the White Wonder turned redder than his own pillar box HQ. "What do you mean it's not fashionable? I'll have you know it's very modern! Plus, that's untrue!"
"Doesn't look like it to me. You should take some fashion advice from the little hamster behind you. He knows how to flaunt his eyes- and he sets off his fur with that rich blue suit. You look like a minimalist, and if there's one thing I can't stand in a man, its minimalism."
"Now steady on madam, I-" But he was quickly interrupted by the pug scrutinising his eyepatch.
"No one can rock an eyepatch, darling. But if you're looking for Peter Pan, he's still at Kensington Gardens." She grinned wickedly at him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I better meet my friend at the mall."
"Yeah, well, you can't rock your-" Danger Mouse began, but he quickly interrupted again – but this time by his friend.
"We better go. Bye!" Penfold grabbed Danger Mouse's paw and pulled him out of the pug's hearing range before his friend did something regrettable.
...
"Come on, Penfold, I was about to come up with an awesome comeback!" The mouse protested childishly. Penfold rolled his eyes. He loved Danger Mouse, but sometimes his friend took situations less seriously than he did. He guessed it was due to his boss' competitive nature and the need to be on top.
"I'd rather you didn't, chief. You do say things which can be hurtful." The hamster reminded him sternly. "The last thing either of us needed was you getting into trouble for being rude to a civilian, DM!"
"I guess you're right, Penfold." Danger Mouse sighed. "I'm sorry. I guess I just got ahead of myself."
"That's alright, chief. Besides, you're the World's Greatest Secret Agent! You shouldn't care what you look like." Penfold pointed out. "I dress scruffily, my suits never fit and my glasses make me look like a total dork! I don't know what she was thinking when she said that. But Im happy with how I look- it's me, and that's what counts."
"Well, its official- we're just a couple of unfashionable dorks, Penfold. But we're also a couple of world saving, unfashionable dorks!" Danger Mouse declared.
"Yes indeed we are, chief!" Penfold cheered.
"Come on- I'll race you to the boat house!" DM crowed, taking off at a sprint.
"Here!" Penfold exclaimed in surprised, and he began running after his boss. "Not fair, DM! Must you always want to win?!"