This is my first Warriors oneshot. I thought it was a good one, one of the best I've done. I almost cried when I wrote it. Hope you enjoy it!
Summary: Ever wonder what's going through Bluestar's head the moment of her death? Did you everwonder what she felt about giving up her kits? This is in her point of view as she lays dying at Fireheart's paws. -TEARJERKER!- Rated to be safe.
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Forever am I Only a Step Behind
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I'll never forget that night. That night, everything changed. I was not the same warrior I had only hours before. That night was horrible. The worst in my life, even worse than the night Tigerclaw tried to kill me. And yet, that night had also been the best night of my life.
I had no idea when I had become so ambitious. Maybe it was the night I realized Thornclaw (A/N: I think it's Thornclaw...) had a chance of becoming deputy as well. ThunderClan wouldn't survive if he became leader. No, his idea of solving problems including bloodshed. He would lead the forest into war. But I would lead ThunderClan to the best I could. Maybe that's why I was so ambitious...and then again...maybe not.
Maybe it was when I met the apprentice Oakpaw on the night of my first Gathering. Being an apprentice myself, everything appealed to me. I actually ran into Oakpaw - literally - when I darted in, gaping at the large oaks and all the cats that gathered around. He was a friendly tom. He didn't snarl at me when I smacked into him. In fact, once we both regained our footing, we laughed.
It was the start of a friendship...something that would evolve into something more.
It seemed like everytime I went to a Gathering, Oakpaw was there as well. We would always wait for each other near the Great Rock. Many of the queens and warriors thought it was cute that we got along so well, even though our clans didn't. Sunningrocks had just recently been won by ThunderClan, so there was alot of hosility in our clans.
Oakpaw became Oakheart a moon before I did. At the next Gathering, we were no longer 'Oakpaw and Bluepaw'. We were Oakheart and Bluefur. That's when the queens started getting suspious of us.
And, actually, they were right.
I feel in love with Oakheart. Even before we became warriors. And it wasn't a 'I'll see you every Gathering near the Great Rock' type of love. I was thinking about him all the time. And one day, before I could even control my paws, I was across the river in his territory. I had to let him know.
It was as if StarClan were looking down on me that night. I managed to catch Oakheart hunting near the river. He tried to chase me off, and I could see the pain in his eyes as he did so. As I neared the river on his side, I turned around.
"Oakheart, I love you!"
Turns out, he loved me back. I had never felt something as good as the feeling of being told 'I love you' from someone you love. We met from then on, every new moon, at Fourtrees. And I wasn't surprised when I figured out I was carrying his kits.
When I told him, he was estatic. But there was also fear in his eyes. How would our kits be treated knowing they were half-clan cats? They would be teased, I knew, for I had seen one of my best friends, Lionheart, be teased because of his origins. And it hurt. I saw it in his eyes.
I had my kits the night before new moon. Two toms and a she-cat. I named the darker gray tom Stonekit, the light gray she-cat Mistykit, and the brown tabby Treekit. Stonekit and Mistykit were healthy, but Treekit was barely making it on it's own. I was lucky it was born alive.
And then, on the same night of my kits birth, my leader, Vinestar, lost his last life to greencough. The Clan was mortified, as well as I, but I realized there was only one warrior left that would be elected to become deputy; Thornclaw. I couldn't let that happen. So, that night, I snuck away, and just like always, I met Oakheart at Fourtrees. I told him the news of Vinestar, and of his kits. And, I did the hardest thing I could do.
"Oakheart...I need you to take the kits for me."
End of discussion. I returned the next night and watched as he took Stonekit and Mistykit across the river. As hard as I tried, I couldn't keep Treekit warm enough, and he died right at my paws. I buried him next to the river, and watched sadly as my kits became RiverClan kits.
I never met Oakheart at Fourtrees after that. I informed my clan that the kits were taken by badgers while I was out hunting. They believed me, and for awhile, I believed it too.
I watched as Fernstar died at a badgers claws. Once I became leader, I watched Redtail, my trusted deputy and friend, die as well. I saw the last glimmer of light leave Lionheart's eyes as he lay in front of me. And I saw the cold eyes of Tigerclaw as he tried to murder me with his own claws. But the most painful thing of all...
I watched my mate die.
I made mistakes, alot of them, and some were more painful than others...
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And now, I lay dying at the paws of my faithful deputy, Fireheart. These memories of pain and hurt fill my mind. Even after I called him a traitor, Fireheart sits here, mourning, not wanting me to die, as faithful as ever. But I know it's my time. There is Oakheart, smiling at me. Oh, how long it has been. One last time, I close my eyes, and suddenly, the pain is gone. When I open them, Oakheart is stepping toward me. My spirit has left my body, but never will my memory be erased.
"Welcome, Bluestar, to StarClan," said the misty voice of my mate. He touches noses with mine, and my eyes light up with happiness. We are together again.
I turn to look once more at Fireheart, and I watched the traitor Tigerstar race into the forest. I don't care. Right now, I know what will happen. Fire will truely save the clan...no...the forest!
I float gently down. I am young again, and I stand by Fireheart, who is mourning over my body. I brush his ear gently with my tail, which goes right through his ear. I lean over. The words of my mother as she took her last breath returned to me...words I haven't heard in so long...
"Forget me not...For time cannot rewind...And where ever life my take you...Forever, am I only a step behind..."
Together, with my mate by my side, we pad on to StarClan, not a regret in our mind.
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Love is a promise, Love is a souvenir, Once given never forgotten, Never let it disappear John Lennon
---End of Story---
Best oneshot yet. I love it, especally the quote. Loved it. Well, R&R!
And I bet you're wondering why I said Lionheart was teased because he was 'half-clan'. Well, this comes from my own story which will be put up after I finish Warriors Chronicles Book I. Promise! Thanks for reading!
SoL