Niall woke up in his king size bed, happy to hear the beating hearts of his four band members. He tried to turn to look at Harry's angelic sleeping face but found that he was met with resistance. He couldn't turn onto his side! He looked around frantically and found that he didn't have any arms, in their place he found a large pair of hang glider wings.
"Guys help," he called, "I can't sit up"
Grumbles came from all around the bed as his band mates slowly woke up.
"Oi," shouted Louis, "I can't either."
Kicks began to fly as the boys tried to sit up. It wasn't until Harry (who was the deepest sleeper of all) finally woke up to a kick in the face.
"You guys have abs. Use them," He mumbled before falling back to sleep.
Slowly the One Direction boys sat up. They surveyed each other, taking in the sights of their friend's new wings. Louis was a fighter jet, Liam was a Boeing, Harry was an Airbus and Zayne had paper airplane wings that had already become crumpled from the earlier kick-fight.
It was later that the boys were all sitting around the TV discussing what to do with their new wings and trying to come up with a plan.
"Blimey, look at the telly," said Harry.
On-screen the Teletubbies could be seen frolicking through the fields of Teletubbyland, but something was off. Their arms had been replaced with wings too!
"We have to get to Teletubbyland and find out whatever information those guys have!" yelled Niall.
And so on the boys went. It was lucky that they were so rich because none of them could drive or even fit in a car with their new wings, with the exception of Zayne's small and pathetic foldable paper wings.
Instead they rented a big U-Haul truck and loaded themselves in the back with a personal assistant who was needed to feed them, and a driver who was instructed not to stop until they were at the launch point for Teletubbyland.
It was 42 days later when the boys/plane hybrids finally emerged from the back of that U-Haul van. The boys all squinted in the sunlight, except for Zayne who instantly went blind because he is weak.
"Good God! How are we supposed to get up there?" asked Liam. It was the first time any of the other boys had heard him speak.
The 4 boys who still had vision looked up at the floating mound of dirt several hundred meters up in the sky. An island known as Teletubbyland where the hit TV show Teletubbies is filmed.
Harry put on a pair of dark sunglasses. "I guess we are going to have to," he removed the sunglasses in a dramatic fashion, "Fly."
The boys ran around learning how to use their wings. Louis was the first to get it with Niall a close second. Too bad his wings were only that of a hang glider so he couldn't actually fly but glide from a high point. Lucky for him a very tall mountain that was even slightly taller than Teletubbyland was just a few feet away from where the U-Haul had dropped them off. So he would be able to make it if he jumped off of that. Louis took the time to teach Harry how to use his wings and Liam figured it out eventually on his own. Zayne's pathetic paper wings couldn't even support himself so in an act of pure emotion Harry walked over to Zayne and ripped his wings off!
"You're out of the band. You could never hold your own. Look even Niall is problem solving. You have no excuse," he yelled.
Zayne was oblivious the fact that his wings had been torn off and thrown into the wind. He waggled his head around and it was then that Harry realized that Zayne had also gone deaf for some reason. Probably because he sucks.
Liam being the good guy that he is took Zayne by the arm and led him into the back of the U-Haul where he would be un-stimulated and happy.
"Alright mates, are we ready to fly?" he said.
The cheeky band climbed to the top of the very tall mountain.
"I'll see you buggars in Teletubbyland," Harry said before launching himself off of the cliff. The other less popular members of the band followed.
Teletubbyland was everything the boys had dreamed of and more. The remaining British members of the band walked around while they waited for their Irish counterpart to finally arrive. Since he had no engines he moved a lot slower than the British boys.
While waiting Liam decided to count the smiling flowers, he got to 6+ when Niall finally arrived.
"Let's find these lads and make them tell us everything they know about these wings," Niall said.
They wandered the rolling hills of Teletubbyland for a long time before they finally found Tinky-Winky. Louis held Tinky-Winky at gunpoint while Harry tied his hands behind his back, using only his mouth. They then led him into the hobbit hole looking thing where the rest of the Teletubbies and Noo-Noo lived.
"Tell us how to get rid of these wings or I kill him!" yelled Louis, the gun held in the crook of his neck like a mom talking on the phone while simultaneously cooking dinner.
The Teletubbies had figured this would happen and were prepared. Their tummy TV's retracted and revealed mini-guns that shot holes in all the special boys. Their director came in and untied Tinky-Winky.
"Noo-Noo clean up this mess. Make sure there isn't any evidence left behind," the director instructed. Nobody needs to know about my little experiment.
THE END
