A/N: For Chronicwhimsy. Wishing you a very wonderfully happy birthday. You are so brilliant, talented, kind, thoughtful and generous. I hope you have all of the good things coming your way.
A/N2: Thanks to Kangofu-CB for beta reading, friendship, support and encouragement!
A/N3: Always thanks to Ro for editing my things and being just an all-around amazing person.
Warnings: language, angst, sexy times
Pairings: 2x5, 3xR
It was being touted as the wedding of the century. The wedding of the new era. A symbol of peace and prosperity that was the future of humanity. A modern-day fairy tale.
Wufei thought it was ridiculous and cruel to saddle the young couple with the expectations of the entire Earthsphere. It would, he thought bitterly, serve humanity right if they got divorced within the year and both became raging, sloppy alcoholics who spewed hatred at each other on the newsreels.
He restrained himself from letting that thought run any further. It would serve humanity right, but not the couple themselves.
They deserved to be happy. They had fought in the war to save humanity, and had spent the ten years since working to rebuild and forge a new, peaceful path for humanity.
Still, as Wufei stood to the side and forced a neutral expression onto his face as the photographer took what felt like the millionth photograph of the wedding party, Wufei couldn't imagine this was the kind of ceremony either of them had really wanted.
The newly-married couple stood in the center, surrounded on one side by groomsmen who were as much political appointments as representative friends, and on the other side by a slew of women in pale blue dresses who were, by and large, near strangers to both the bride and the groom.
Relena Peacecraft, for all that she was well-known by the rest of the world, had a small circle of close acquaintances. But she had known, probably since her childhood, that her wedding would be an extravagant affair, and that she would need to have important - or at least self-important - people as part of her wedding party.
Trowa Barton, on the other hand, probably hadn't given any thought to getting married at any point in his life before Relena proposed to him. And he had even fewer intimate friends than she did.
Quatre was there, of course, as Trowa's golden, jubilant best man. Quatre had been the one to encourage the two of them to start dating, after all, once he and Trowa had realized that they really were suited more as friends than lovers. Heero, of course, was there as Relena's… whatever he was. Not quite brother, but certainly more of a brother to her than Zechs, who was also, regrettably, present. And Wufei, who had been Trowa's partner out in the field at Preventers until Une had moved Trowa off the front lines and behind a desk, before Wufei had left Preventers altogether, was present.
Noticeably absent was, of course, Duo Maxwell.
Wufei knew he had been invited, the information being provided so thoughtfully by Quatre.
Quatre, who meddled and didn't know how to leave well enough alone, who felt his spotless record of matchmaking - one for one - was enough encouragement to keep involving himself in the private lives of his friends.
Of course, Quatre had always done that - even before Trowa and Relena became engaged two years ago - and the troubled, tricky history that Wufei and Duo had accumulated had always seemed to be one of Quatre's favorite pastimes.
It had been five years since Wufei had seen Duo. Five years since the last of too many fights. Five years since the last of not enough embraces.
Five years since-
He cut short that line of thought as well.
They had been both good and horrible for each other, joining Preventers in an effort to make sense of their lives, of the deaths and destruction they had wrought, and they had fallen into bed together after months of petty arguments and aggressive competition at work, and- and it had felt, that first time and every time after when Duo touched him, that Wufei had found someone who understood the blinding darkness at his core and neither forgave him for it or held it against him.
The sex had been good, after they figured out what they were doing. The late nights when they woke up from nightmares of the past to realize they weren't alone were good too. But it hadn't been enough, not with both of them bent on torturing themselves for their past sins, not when they were too young and stupid to realize there was no possible way to atone for things, not when they still thought of themselves as the invincible engines of fate that had so dramatically and violently altered human history. They argued constantly, except, of course, when Duo decided to run. They were both cowards, in their own ways, and they both knew each other too well, were too afraid, to pull any punches.
It had taken Duo getting fired, had taken Trowa almost dying in the field, for Duo and Wufei to realize things weren't getting better, to realize that they weren't building anything.
One last fight, hours of arguing, of self-hatred manifesting as something even uglier, and they had realized the only way either of them could escape their pasts was to leave each other behind.
Duo had walked away, had slipped out in the gray light of early morning with a whispered goodbye, and Wufei hadn't seen or heard from him since.
Quatre had been taunting Wufei with the wedding for weeks now, had been teasing him about dressing up and looking his best and the chance to meet someone new, or someone old.
And Wufei had stupidly let himself wonder what it would be like to see Duo again. He felt apprehensive and curious. He wondered what Duo had made of his life, wondered if he had found peace, wondered if he had found happiness. Wondered if-
Wufei cut that line of thought short and forced himself to offer the photographer a faint smile.
By the time the photos were over and the wedding party was ushered into the reception hall, Wufei found himself desperately in need of a drink.
He was a groomsman, but, thankfully, wasn't expected to make any kind of speech, and so he steadily worked his way through three glasses of champagne while Heero, Noin, Cathy, Zechs, Dorothy and Quatre all stood up to deliver speeches and well wishes.
Wufei had only ever had champagne once before.
The second anniversary of the end of all wars. Duo had shown up at his apartment with an expensive bottle, had insisted they didn't need glasses, and they had spent the night doing quite a bit of drinking, and then…
By the time the dancing started, Wufei began to plan his escape. He was quite convinced that no one would miss him, and he really wasn't in the mood to sit there and drink any more. He also wanted to avoid the dance floor.
Quatre had other plans.
He gave Wufei a meaningful look, and cleared his throat before nodding towards the dance floor.
Wufei sighed, and then scowled when Quatre did that thing where he managed to look both pleading and commanding.
He stood up and walked around the table and held out his hand.
"I'd love to dance," Quatre grinned up at him, and took his hand.
Wufei gave him a look, but Quatre continued to grin.
He was grateful that the wedding was formal enough that he could lead Quatre in a waltz. It was the only dance he really knew, and only then because Duo had had an op, had needed to learn some kind of formal dance and they had learned together, had practiced late into the night until Duo was smirking at him and suggesting they try dancing naked instead.
Wufei tried to push away the memory, tried to push away the disappointment at Duo's absence from the wedding and his own foolish dreams.
"I'm sorry," Quatre murmured, voice low and sincere.
"It's fine. It's just one dance."
"Not about that. About-"
"It's fine," Wufei cut him off.
It was fine. They didn't need to talk about it.
The song ended, and Wufei found himself partnering next with Sally. And then Trowa. And then Relena. And then Heero. And then-
"Mind if I cut in?"
Wufei couldn't, even if he had a hundred years to try, forget the sound of his voice.
Heero stepped aside, and Wufei saw him for the first time in years.
Dressed head to toe in black, as he always was.
Wufei tried not to notice how pale he was. How well he filled out his suit. His hair-
Heero looked between them, clearly torn.
They were, Wufei realized, starting to draw the attention of the other guests.
With a sigh, he stepped away from Heero and held out his hand.
Duo stepped into his arms, and it felt like he belonged.
Like he had never left.
They danced in silence, and Wufei tried his best to only think about the steps, about the music, about the twinkling lights surrounding them and the buzz of the champagne in his bloodstream.
About anything except how good Duo Maxwell fit against him. How good he smelled, how firm and warm his body was. How calloused his hand was in Wufei's own. How perfectly they moved together.
One song ended, and the next began.
And then another.
And another.
Until finally, Duo spoke.
"You changed your soap."
He had.
Months after Duo had left, Wufei had gone to the store and found himself picking up Duo's soap as well as his own, so used to buying both, and in a fit of pique, he had put both back and picked up something new for himself, something completely different, something that had no memories of Duo's nose pressed to his neck and inhaling deeply.
"You didn't." It sounded like an accusation. Maybe it was.
Duo's hand tightened on his momentarily, before Duo forced himself to relax.
"Yeah. I… Reminded me of you," Duo said, too honest.
Wufei locked his jaw against the million things he wanted to say in response to that.
He looked away from Duo's eyes, from the searching glance.
He wasn't sure what Duo was looking for, what he wanted from Wufei.
And Wufei had no idea what he wanted.
Except, he had wanted to see Duo again. Had wanted exactly this. But, presented with the reality of Duo back in his arms, Wufei had no idea what to do.
No idea who to be.
The man he had become - hoped he had become - or the boy that had fallen so foolishly, impossibly in love with the tortured soul he had glimpsed behind Duo's smirk?
The song ended, and Wufei finally stepped away from Duo.
"You look good," Duo murmured. "It's good to see you again. I-"
Duo trailed off with a shrug, eyes fixed on Wufei's, lips tilted into a rueful curve.
Wufei could only nod. He didn't trust himself to speak.
He had never bothered to delude himself into thinking he could move on from being in love with Duo. It wasn't possible, to feel that much passion - as tangled and awful as it had been brilliant - for someone and have it fade away to nothing, even after five years. Even after Wufei had worked so hard to rebuild every other aspect of his life.
He had dreamed of a reunion with Duo, over the years, had wondered if they would fight, if they would fuck, if they would find themselves awkward strangers.
Dreams, however, were a far cry from reality.
"Look, do you wanna get out of here?" Duo suggested, lifting one eyebrow as his eyes took on a mischievous gleam. "I've got a car and-"
"Yes," Wufei said without hesitation.
Duo grinned, warmth suffusing his expression and curling through Wufei. He took Wufei's hand and led them out of the ballroom, stopping only to grab a chilled bottle of champagne.
They drove for what might have been hours. It might have only been ten minutes.
Wufei could feel the wind against his skin, battling through his hair, could taste the salt of the sea that flashed by beside them.
Duo, a dark shadow against the night sky, face pale in the moonlight that shone down on them through the open top of the convertible, stayed silent for the drive.
Expectation and longing and fear built within Wufei as they continued to drive, memories of the past, of his mistakes, of Duo's, cluttered his mind.
But then Duo pulled off and parked beside a beach and turned to Wufei.
He looked unsure, looked almost vulnerable, and his eyes shone with all of the things Wufei felt.
"Take a walk with me?"
Wufei arched an eyebrow.
"What option do I have? You've driven us out to the middle of nowhere."
Duo grinned and chuckled, relaxing slightly.
"You could sit in the car and drink the champagne by yourself," he suggested.
Wufei rolled his eyes and grabbed the bottle before opening his door.
They left their shoes by the car, and the fine, cool sand between Wufei's toes was enough sensation to keep him from doing anything as reckless as speak.
But then Duo sat down.
"So, ah, how have you been?" The tone was casual, but the way Duo's shoulders hunched revealed his unease.
"Better," Wufei sat down beside him, carefully keeping several inches between them.
"Yeah?" Duo turned his head and their eyes caught.
"Yes," Wufei confirmed.
Duo's expression eased.
"Good. Good. I- I worried about you."
Wufei had worried about Duo too, had been on the verge of trying to find him so many times over the years, but had held himself back.
He expected Duo had felt the same, had had the same temptations.
At least, he hoped so.
"Quatre told me you're going to school? Law school?"
Wufei nodded.
"Yes. He told me you went back to the Sweepers."
Duo's turn to nod, and then shrug.
"Yeah. For a while. Few years. Just to get my head on straight, you know?"
"What do you do now?"
Duo gave him a wry grin and leaned back, resting his elbows in the sand and looking up at Wufei.
"Dunno if I should tell you that. You might feel obligated to, uh, take legal action or somethin'."
Wufei sighed in exasperation.
It had been a running joke, when they were at Preventers, had led to an exorbitantly large betting pool: would Duo Maxwell stay on the straight and narrow, or would he turn smuggler?
"You're being careful, at least?" he asked.
Duo chuckled.
"Careful? Me?"
"Idiot," Wufei muttered, feeling a familiar, nostalgic tug of fondness.
They sat in silence for a while, letting the chill air seep into them, and it was easy, so easy to just be there.
Wufei hadn't felt that way around anyone in a long time.
He had dated, in the years since Duo. Had allowed Quatre to set him up a few times, had avoided any potential dates arranged by Heero, had almost been happy with one of the Preventers agents Trowa worked with at his new job.
But it hadn't been the same, with any of them, with men who he hadn't faced death with.
"I'm sorry," Duo said, the words startling Wufei.
He looked over and saw that Duo was looking up at the sky, head thrown back and throat exposed.
"I'm not," Wufei confessed.
Duo's head lifted, and he arched an eyebrow at Wufei. He could see the other man's defenses rise, could see his muscles tense.
"You're not, huh?"
Wufei shook his head.
"No. It needed to end."
Duo swallowed hard.
"Maybe. But I should have-"
"No," Wufei interrupted him. " No."
Duo sighed, and he looked conflicted, looked like he wanted to argue, and Wufei arched an eyebrow in challenge.
Duo snorted a laugh.
"Fine. You win. It needed to end. Before we broke something."
"Before we broke each other," Wufei agreed with a murmur.
Duo reached out for Wufei's hand, tangling their fingers together in the sand.
Eventually, the cold drove them back to Duo's car. He put the top up and they sat in the dark, drinking the champagne and sharing fragments of their lives. Duo complained about customs restrictions. Wufei waxed poetic about the research libraries at school. They traded gossip about their friends.
It felt simultaneously as if things were the same as they had always been, and as if they were two entirely new and different people. It was comforting and somehow unnerving.
Duo drove them back to the expensive resort that Relena had booked for her wedding, and he walked Wufei up to his hotel room.
Wufei hesitated, opening the door and letting the light from the hall spill into the darkness, but not quite ready to turn away from Duo again.
"Well," Duo drawled as he leaned one shoulder against the wall and looked at Wufei with drowsy eyes, "hope it's not another five years before I see you again."
Wufei snorted.
"I just hope the next time I see you isn't in a courtroom," he muttered.
Duo grinned.
"You'd have to catch me first."
Wufei gave him a look.
"I could-"
Duo leaned forward, closing the space between them, and pressed his lips to Wufei's.
Duo's touch was light, teasing, the soft scrape of his lips over Wufei's stealing all of his breath away.
When he straightened up, putting space between them, Duo looked away.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have-"
Wufei reached out, taking hold of Duo's jacket lapels and hauling him back.
Duo's eyes widened.
"Nevermind," he said, lips curving into a grin as he kissed Wufei again.
It was achingly familiar, the pressure of Duo's mouth against his own, the feel of their tongues tangled together, the thrum of arousal and desire that coursed through Wufei's blood.
They stumbled back into Wufei's room, Duo's arms flailing momentarily for the door before he found it and slammed it closed, and then they were tugging at clothing, laughing and swearing and struggling until they were naked and on the bed.
Duo's thighs bracketed Wufei in place, heels digging into his ass as they clung to each other, mouths mapping skin that had been neglected for too long.
"Oh God, Wufei," Duo moaned as Wufei dragged his fingers over Duo's legs and his ass, raking his nails over the spots that he knew were sensitive.
He had fantasized about this, about what it had been like then to have Duo come apart in his arms, about what it might be like to hold him again, to coax him to that moment of release that always left Duo exposed and awestruck, as if every time was the first time anyone had ever given him that kind of pleasure.
Wufei moved down Duo's body, coaxing moans from him, inarticulate pleas and gasps, until he found Duo's erect cock and drew it into his mouth. Duo bucked upwards, the movement uncontrolled and desperate.
"Wufei," he groaned again, and Wufei felt the distantly familiar, heady power of Duo begging him, of Duo needing him.
He drew it out, teasing Duo towards climax before pulling back, trailing kisses and bites over the rest of his body, and then returning to his cock when Duo became desperate, only to abandon him on the precipice again and again, before he finally took him over, swallowing Duo's rush of release while the other man cried out and dug his fingers into Wufei's scalp.
Duo wasn't nearly as cruel, though the wicked gleam in his eyes gave Wufei pause as the pale man pushed him back on the bed and straddled him.
But he took his time, tongue lapping at the sensitive crown of Wufei's cock as though he were savoring some delicacy, his dark gaze holding Wufei captive the entire time, even as he drew Wufei's length into his mouth, even as Wufei was nudging the back of his throat and they were both moaning at the sensation.
Wufei wanted it to last forever, wanted to be joined with Duo's body until the sun went nova, but his body betrayed him, hurtling him towards orgasm, and he came with a cry, release and regret mixing together, and he collapsed back onto the bed as sensation overwhelmed him.
Duo stayed the night, curling against Wufei's side and negligently pulling the comforter over the both of them before pressing one last kiss to Wufei's lips.
In the morning, Duo was already dressed when Wufei woke, blinking at the light streaming through the window.
He was sitting in an armchair, knees drawn to his chest, watching Wufei.
Duo's lips curved into a slow smile, a smile that Wufei wasn't sure he had ever seen on the other man's face before, and it left Wufei floundering.
But then Duo stood up, stretching and smoothing out his clothes. He crossed the room and knelt on the bed beside Wufei.
"Take care of yourself, huh?" Duo suggested just before he brushed his lips over Wufei's cheek, trailing them down to his mouth and pressing a hard, quick kiss there before he pulled away.
"You're leaving?" Wufei asked, realizing too late, remembering too late the last time.
Duo shrugged.
"Gotta return the car and get back to the real world, yanno?"
Wufei nodded slowly and reluctantly.
The real world.
The world they didn't share.
"I can come visit-"
Duo shook his head, expression still soft even as it turned sad.
"No, Wufei. No visits. Don't- don't make this harder than it already is."
The regret in Duo's voice made Wufei narrow his eyes.
"Don't run away from me again."
Duo's lips tightened, and he looked away.
"Wufei, I can't. I can't be the man you need. The one you deserve. I was awful, before. Awful for you. Look at you, now - you've got this shiny future, and it's what you've always wanted, and I- I can't live my life hoping that you'll be there one day, ready to take me as I am."
Duo had said too much, confessing something that he clearly had no intention of saying.
"Duo-"
But the other man shook his head, jaw stubbornly set.
"I'm glad we got to say a proper goodbye, this time," he said.
And then he left. Again.
-o-
Two weeks later, Wufei walked down the narrow streets on an L2 colony, carefully navigating his way between the obvious pickpockets and the shouting street vendors.
He adjusted his bag, assuring himself it was still on his back, and that it was still zipped shut.
And then he came to a stop as the sign he had been searching for came into view.
Maxwell Custom Engineering.
The script was bold white on a black sign, pristine in a neighborhood where most things seemed decades past new.
When he entered the shop, a bell above the door heralded his arrival.
"Be right with you!" a voice called out.
A voice that wasn't Duo's.
Wufei felt something like despair settle in his stomach.
Quatre had assured him this was the place, assured him that this was the maybe not entirely above-board enterprise that Duo was running these days, assured him that he wasn't entirely out of his mind for doing this.
A red-haired, dark-skinned woman walked into view, wiping her hands off on a rag as she did.
"How can I help you, mister?" Her eyes sized him up quickly, judging, cataloguing, and Wufei knew he was as out of place in this shop as he was on this entire colony. Knew that she knew it too, and was calculating how to use that to her advantage.
"I'm looking for Duo."
Her eyes sharpened.
"Duo who?"
"Duo Maxwell."
She lifted one shoulder in a careless shrug.
"Don't know any Duo Maxwell."
Wufei barely refrained from rolling his eyes.
"What Duos do you know, then?"
Her lips flattened into a hard line.
"I knew a Duo, but he died."
Wufei felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the colony.
"He died?"
"Yeah. Few years back."
Wufei drew an unsteady breath.
Years?
"I don't understand."
She rolled her eyes.
"He was alive, and then he died. Got himself buried in the community plot, and someone sang a few sad songs. What's there to understand?"
Wufei felt like he was in a dream, or a nightmare, or- or- What was going on?
"Who owns this store?"
"Who wants to know?" she shot back, no longer fidgeting with the rag.
"I- I'm a friend."
"No friend of mine," she assured him.
"No, I'm a friend of Duo's."
"Which Duo?" she asked, cocking one eyebrow at him. "The dead one?"
Wufei sincerely hoped not.
"I want to speak with your manager."
"I am the manager, Mr. Square Corners."
As insults went, it was pretty tame. Especially on L2.
"Then I want to speak to the owner."
They stood there, glaring at each other, for a long, tense moment.
Behind Wufei, the door opened and the bell jangled merrily.
"Alice! Give me a hand with this!"
Wufei turned at the familiar voice, feeling his heart lurch.
His eyes landed on a tower of boxes, on a pair of hands awkwardly clutching them and a pair of long, lean legs encased in black leather.
"Max, we got a customer. Maybe."
The boxes shifted, and were then dropped.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Duo, alive and confused, staring at him while the manager reached for something in her pocket.
"You want me to take care of him, boss?" she asked, and Wufei saw, out of the corner of his eye, that she had pulled a gun.
Duo shifted, awkwardly jumping over the pile of boxes and putting himself between the woman and Wufei, his attention focused on Wufei.
"Nah, no need," he said over his shoulder. "He's- he's okay."
"He came in here asking for Duo Maxwell. The last people who came in here asking for Duo Maxwell tried to gut you, boss. And you said they were okay too."
Wufei narrowed his eyes.
"What? You have people trying to kill you?"
Duo rolled his eyes.
"Not anymore. Or at least, not those people," he said with a forced grin.
"Duo, what the hell is-"
"Alice, can you give us a minute?" Duo finally turned away from Wufei. "Take this stuff to the back?"
The woman slowly put the gun away, glowering at Wufei as she did, and then angrily started to shift the boxes away from the door. Just as she took the last box out of view, she caught Wufei's gaze again, warning clear.
"Loyal employee," Wufei muttered.
Duo frowned at him.
"What the hell are you doing here, Wufei?"
And suddenly everything - the plans he had been making since that morning, the struggle with himself as he tried to tease out just what he should do, just what his life would be like if he let Duo walk away again - felt ridiculous. Felt impossible and far away, and so out of reach that it was inconceivable that Wufei had ever even attempted this.
"Looking for you."
"I said no visits, Wufei," Duo sighed. "I-"
"I'm not here to visit."
Duo's eyes narrowed.
"Yeah? You in the market for some hardware, then? Or maybe a converted mecha? I've got some software from the Dolls in the back that'll give you a thrill. Or-"
"I'm here for you, Duo. I came here... for you."
Duo's eyebrows drew together.
"I said I can't-"
"I love you, Duo. I don't want to visit you. I don't want to walk away and hope I see you again in five years. I'm here. I want you. I want you in my life. I want the man you are, Duo."
The blue eyes that met his looked desperate and afraid.
Wufei knew exactly how Duo felt.
"We already tried this once," Duo said, voice low.
"No. Not this. Before wasn't like this. Before, we were drowning."
"What, and now we've learned how to swim?" Duo asked, lips twisted into something like a sneer.
Wufei shrugged.
"I have."
Duo swallowed hard, his throat working as he considered.
Finally, he licked his lips and drew in a breath.
"Teach me how?"
Wufei held one hand out, and Duo came to him, fitting into his arms and smelling like home.
-o-
The End