22 Moments in Time
Summary: 22 drabbles of Lelouch and Suzaku. Various moments in time, some AU most not.
1. Razor
He remembered staring at the razor for the longest time even though in actuality it had only been a minute. He hesitated for a split second. His hesitation must have shown, since Lelouch tiptoed slightly to kiss his lips, soft and trembling.
Nanally's life was on the line. It was his job to deactivate the bomb. With Lelouch there, Suzaku felt like he could do anything.
He grasped the razor tighter as Lelouch disappeared through the doors.
2. Marshmallows
Sweet, fluffy, and annoyingly powdery. Lelouch never understood why Suzaku liked those fluffs of white sugar. They were impractical, it was almost like C.C. and her pizza.
However, there was one difference.
"Hey, Lelouch, try some at least!" the soldier held a finger of a half melted marshmallow up to him.
Lelouch could only sigh and lean over to lick it off his finger.
3. kiss
It wasn't sweet and chaste, but it wasn't rough and demanding. Their first kiss was somewhat…odd. There was no other word for it.
The way their lips melded together and that moment they froze each wondering what to do. The way they pulled apart, flushed, only to initiate the second one at the same time. Of course, it was still the 'first' kiss. Their first one only counted as 'a practice test before the actual thing,' as Suzaku had dubbed it.
No, now that he thought about it, there was another word for it. It was so simple that it was laughable.
It was a kiss.
It was perfect.
4. eyes
Suzaku often stared at Euphemia's eyes. The light purple made him wonder whether Nanally's eyes were that shade. He had asked Lelouch one day as they lazed around on the rooftop.
He paused before saying, yes, they are.
Suzaku stared into Lelouch's eyes. Who's eyes do you have? Your mother's?
No, his voice dulled slightly. Violet is the color of the emperor's.
Eh? His eyes are so small! Suzaku's voice rose in astonishment. I always thought they were black!
For the rest of the day, Lelouch laughed every time their eyes met.
5. words
Lelouch always had a way with words, the same as Suzaku did with athletic activities. Those words that could enchant a person to their deathbed never lost their touch or magic. Every time Suzaku fell prey to those words (and maybe even those eyes) as the other wrapped him around his left pinky.
Words, they were dangerous with Lelouch as Lancelot was dangerous with Suzaku. Suzaku had admired Lelouch's art with words and envied his complete connection with people. Words were a part of a great skill. Suzaku was so sure that Lelouch would use those words to do something righteous one day.
He never thought it came in the form as it did.
"Survive!"
6. lust
None of them know when is started. It just sort of…did.
Lelouch started paying more attention to Suzaku's physical build: lean, muscular, and the kindest smile ever found on anyone. He stared at the devilish brown hair that never seemed to tame under a comb. The green eyes that lighted a fire in his heart every time they stared at him with that look.
Suzaku began noticing the slimness of the other's frame. The pale, yet not unhealthy, skin, slim shoulders, and a commanding presence fit for a king. The silky, black hair that was a pleasure to run your hand through. Those amethyst eyes that danced with silent amusement as Author made a new war scar on his face. The way his body would heat up in response to a simple contact.
They didn't remember how they found time to sneak around under the cover of night. One being Zero, not that Suzaku knew. One being the pilot of Lancelot, who was out whenever Zero was.
Now, they wonder whether it was lust or was it love.
Both had truthfully admitted, the first time they stumbled to bed, it was because of lust.
7. love
Love was something to be treasured. Love meant giving your heart to someone else and receiving the same. You expect them to protect it from the rain, wind, and snow, and you will too. Euphie always said this with a sort of dreamy and far off expression on her face.
Lelouch was a genius, but he did not comprehend the excitement and glory of love. He did not believe that he would do something so unproductive as stare out into space fantasizing of some 'knight in white armor' who would sweep him off his feet.
Tonight as he and Lancelot clashed, Lelouch found him laughing at the literal translation of his past musings. Lancelot the white knight was sweeping him off his feet.
Tomorrow, he would probably stare off into space and wonder about a certain soldier.
Are you done fantasizing? C.C.'s voice cut in his pondering as a sharp jolt brought him back to reality.
Maybe you should leave it for tonight, what's better, fantasizing or the real thing? Her voice was deadpan as her gold eyes flashed warningly.
As another strike came close to dislocating Gawin's arm, Lelouch thought in satisfaction.
Yes, this was love.
8. Ability
Suzaku often wondered what would have happened if he had the ability to save Japan from Britannia. Would Lelouch and Nanally be waiting for him on the dirt road of a sunflower patch? Would her eyes be wide open, taking in the beauty of the true Japan?
Would he have put down the path of revenge and enjoyed those warm summer days with them? Would Euphemia still be alive then? Would people be suffering?
He didn't have the ability then. Now, as he sat down with the rest of the Knights of Round, he knows he has the power to change the world.
The only thing he regrets is not having this sooner.
9. courage
Nanally had only recently mustered up the courage to ask that question. One that she had been refraining from asking, but it was becoming too much!
"Suzaku-san, are you seeing my brother?"
She could hear the slight wrinkle of fabric meaning the tension of their bodies. If she could see, the sight would probably be amusing. She could almost imagine the two stare at each other with the most shocked expressions on their faces, without a clue how to answer her question.
She let it slide. Later in the night, she asked C.C.
"Couldn't have been more obvious, those two," the familiar voice muttered.
Ah, if only she had the courage to ask earlier. Then she may have been able to play matchmaker, too bad the opportunity slipped.
10. enemies
It was funny how they started as enemies and ended as enemies.
Both burst into laughter, the sound echoed in the great cave and grew in volume. It was the end. But they were also back to the beginning. As enemies. From other sides of the field. Even that was switched.
Lelouch was now siding with the Japanese, and Suzaku sided with Britannia.
Before, Suzaku used to hate him for being Britannian. Now, he was one too.
Before, Lelouch hated losing to him. Now, well, at least that was still the same.
It was like a parabola. They begin and end in the same place. Their friendship only lasted what? 7 years? How long have they been alive? 17?
If it would take another turn, it may be after their deaths. Laughing about how in life they started as enemies, then as friends.
Finally, as enemies in the end.
11. heart
It hurt. The region where his heart lay hurt. It was a numbing pain that grew sharper with every breath. His heart beat ferociously. Sweat slide down his cheek. They were going way too fast.
It hurt too much. Voices and memories. Of times they were happy. Of times they were sad. Of times they comforted each other.
He was surprised to see his vision blur. The outlines on buildings and objects became blurred. He blinked trying to clear his vision.
It hurt. It really did. Was this how it felt when one's heart broke?
"Lelouch, don't die, please don't die…"
Too bad he'd never get a chance to find out.
12. father
Suzaku remembered loving his father. Before his mother died, his father doted on him. Maybe not the way his mother did, but in a fatherly way. Allowing him to sit in his lap when making urgent calls or working. Whenever he saw his father standing tall with a look of deep thought, he was proud to be his father's son.
Lelouch remembered loving his father once. That mixture of admiration and awe was like love. He remembered going to the great halls where his father commanded his subjects. It was majestic. Those stern eyes made him shake in fear, but at the same time made him even more proud of being his father's son.
Suzaku remembered hating his father. The moment he found out of his plan that would kill more and more and more people. He remembered being stuck for the first time out of malice.
Lelouch remembered hating his father. The moment he found out in that great hall that his father didn't care of his mother's death. He remembered the shocking realization that his father didn't love him.
Suzaku remembered digging the blade into his father's stomach in an attempt in stopping him.
Lelouch will not remember doing the same in hatred, it will never take place.
Suzaku will make sure it never does.
13. character
Lelouch was arrogant in every way possible unless it came to Nanally or Suzaku.
Suzaku was polite in every situation unless it came to endangering his friends.
Lelouch had a distant way of caring for his friends. He wouldn't say much of his own doings, but he would never let his friends get dragged into any trouble. If they did, he would make their survival his first priority.
Suzaku cared for his friends in a direct fashion. He wouldn't lie unless it was necessary, but if found out, he wouldn't try to cover it up. If his friends were put in danger, he would use his own life to save theirs.
Lelouch was sometimes needy. He would cling onto Suzaku in a death grip at night. It made Suzaku laugh whenever he woke up to find his arm or torso in captive by the prince's tight grip.
Suzaku was always sentimental. They would find themselves in conversations about those evanescent summer days. Lelouch could only pout whenever the pilot made it a point to tease him about his athletic abilities.
It would be a lie to say that Euphemia's death didn't affect them. It would be an even greater lie to say that Zero's identity revealed didn't affect them.
As they pointed their guns at each other, they both came to a realization.
They could never truly be together. It was just their character.
14. immortality
Lelouch often wondered how it would be if he were immortal. He voiced his opinions one day to C.C. If I were able to rule forever, never fear of death or danger. She gave him a look of hidden disgust. He said no more.
He chatted with Rivalz and spun off on his tirade. If I could keep Nanally safe forever, never fear of aging and withering away leaving no one to watch over her. His friend slapped his back and commented, you would be an old geezer too, you'd be an undying old geezer.
He conversed with Shirley. If I could keep up with times and watch humanity as it went on. A secret thought he didn't add, and watch Britannia fall. She gave him a long look, finally she asked, wouldn't you be lonely?
Lelouch asked Suzaku directly. If I could watch over everyone, if I could take care of Nanally, if I could… Suzaku smiled after he finished and planted a kiss on his left eye.
"I guess I'd have to find a way to become immortal too."
15. beauty
They had stayed up half the night doing something they usually never did.
Talk about girls.
"Kallen's not that bad looking…her chest is…"
Smirk. "Yeah, for a sick girl, she rivals Millay and Shirley."
"I've wondered what exactly is attractive about a large chest."
"The fact there's something on their body that is larger than the rest, therefore attracting attention?"
"But wouldn't their hips be more…"
"When you look at a girl, do you look at their butt first or their chest first?"
Shifting of fabric. "Lelouch, that's an awkward question."
"You brought it up, Suzaku."
"Well, you didn't have to be so blunt!" Thud of a pillow.
"Keep your hands to yourself, don't resort to violence whenever you're at a loss of words!"
"Loss of words? More like mortified."
"Hey, that's what beauty is nowadays."
"No its not."
"Oh really now? So what do you think is beauty, Suzaku?"
"You."
Awkward silence.
"Suzaku, your such an embarrassing person."
16. greatness
He was born for greatness. Even Charles vi Britannia had grudgingly admitted it when his proud wife pointed it out.
He'll succeed the throne someday, she said fondly, her stomach swollen with another child.
Not if I can help it, he replied, his strong, commanding voice rang through the bedroom. A rare gesture of love from him, he kissed her forehead.
He will, she said again. He will…after all, he was born for greatness.
He was born for greatness. Prime Minister Kugurugi had nodded nonchalantly, listening to his wife's sweet words.
He'll change the world someday, she said, her voice full of pride and love.
Not unless he does something more impressive than that, he scorned watching his son swing the katana. A rare gesture of affection, he took her hand in his and held it.
He will, she repeated. He will…after all, he was born for greatness.
Both stared at each other for a very long time, gun pointed to kill. At the same time, one thought lingered in their minds:
We were born for greatness.
But the world isn't big enough for both of us.
17. knowledge
He finally understood. Finally understood the meaning of love, hate, regret, and revenge.
They had no meaning. No meaning what so ever.
Lelouch was gone, so it meant nothing.
That bullet the hurdled toward Zero at the time of chaos.
"Lelouch!"
He would have survived that hit, if only his body didn't freeze. Somehow, it demanded him to live. His life over Lelouch's.
It was too late. He watched him fall. Mask falling, cloak falling, him falling.
He dashed to catch him, to hold him, to kiss him before the warmth left his body.
The blood was still warm even though the body had gone cold. No one could move him. Not even the Emperor's command. Not that the Emperor would waste his breath on this.
"Suzaku, let him go, he's dead," Gino tried to pry him away.
"He's not," he remembered saying. In denial. In shock. In grief.
He could hear Anya and Gino whisper in the back. A series of 'lets get him out of here' and 'he can't accept reality.'
It was quite the opposite. He accepted it. Lelouch was dead.
He finally understood. It was like the floodgate of knowledge had broken.
"Suzaku…I love you," he remembers the first time he heard those words. And the last.
But now, it meant nothing.
18. crying
Suzaku remembered crying when Euphemia was killed. Lelouch remembered crying when he killed Euphie.
Suzaku remembered crying when Japan fell. Lelouch remembered crying when his mother fell.
Suzaku's tears were violent and furious. Like a raging river against a broken dam.
Lelouch's tears were silent and scarce. Like an April shower with the sun still out.
Suzaku cried when he first got to the Knights of Round, promising never to shed a tear again.
Lelouch cried when he heard Suzaku was leaving and promised Rollo not to cry again.
Suzaku almost cried when he heard Lelouch regained his memories. He would have to fight against his friend again.
Lelouch almost cried tears of frustration when he regained his memories. Nanally wasn't there and he hated Suzaku.
Both of them would cry when it was over.
One would cry when the other would die.
19. laughter
Laughter was foreign now. Rollo's laughter was sometimes synthetic. Millay's laughter held a note of nervousness. Shirley's laugh was high pitched because of fear. Rivalz's laughter was absent.
Suzaku and Lelouch merely stared on. Their own little world. Their own little staring contest.
When they broke out with laughter, their mouths curled up and eyes half-lidded. Eyes as hard as ice. Heart as warm as Hell's fire.
Their laughter was of promised vengeance and death.
It was like a play. All fake laughter at different pitches. Different secrets hiding behind each 'haha' or 'heehee.' The sounds danced around each other with surprising ease only clashing when their owners did.
When their laughter died down, one went down. Now only one person laughed.
Soon the laugh became strangled and sounded like crying.
'Neh, Suzaku-san, why are you sad?'
'Nanally…it's nothing, really.'
It was his cue to laugh again.
20. music
Music was never my thing, Suzaku noted to himself. He found himself horribly off tune as he tried to sing the national hymn of Britannia.
"What exactly are you attempting to do anyways?" Lelouch asked finally taking his eyes away from his book and looking across the Student Council room exasperated.
"Singing."
"Bird language is more like it," Lelouch scoffed without malice.
"Lelouch," Suzaku whined, drawing out his name. "Then you sing it for me!"
"It won't get you anywhere," Lelouch said quickly, it was as if he were defending himself…
"Of course, with your deep and rough voice, it would sound terrible!" Suzaku scoffed. Reverse psychology had to work sometime.
"Oh really now?" Suzaku perked up, did he manage to…? "I guess your right." Damn.
"Come on Lelouch, just the first three lines!"
"I thought you said it would sound terrible?" Lelouch teased, one eyebrow raised in amusement.
"Your voice is like those of choir angels! Happy?" Suzaku was getting desperate.
"Why do you want me to sing anyways?"
"Nanally said you sing really well, but play the piano better."
There was a outbreak of whacks and thuds, not all hitting their target.
But that night when everyone had left, you could hear one lone voice majestically command his imaginary country.
"Our destiny is delivered in the blood of our veins…all hail Britannia and the Emperor…"Lelouch vi Britannia
Another joined him. Only with slight variation and in Japanese.
"Our destiny is reached through our blood and tears…all to peace and his majesty…"Kugurugi Suzaku
"Oi, your off tune!"
"Ah! Really?"
21. contempt
Shirley couldn't hold Suzaku in contempt. She couldn't hate Lelouch for it either. So she just turned away silently, trying to forget.
"Lelouch…I'm glad we met again…"
"Glad?"
When the soldier leaned in for a kiss, she could see it. Their lips touching in a hesitant but loving manner.
Don't think about it, she commanded herself. But the image lingered.
Pressed against each other, they kissed. Whispering the other's names in the few moments they broke apart.
She could still hear Suzaku's raspy whispers and Lelouch's needy whimpers.
The black uniform fell softly to the floor as more white and tanned skin was revealed.
When she first tried to look away, the white of Lelouch's skin stopped her in her tracks, keeping her frozen there.
A hand tugged on his dark locks, pulling his head back allowing access to more skin, which the mouth feasted on greedily.
She was mesmerized by the black strands cascading down his nape and the mouth that left bruises on the slender neck.
"Lelouch, I love you."
She stopped walking. It was too much to bear. She lied to herself. She held both of them in contempt.
Hated Suzaku for getting to him first. Hated Lelouch for accepting those advances. Hated herself for not noticing earlier. Now it was too late.
"I love you too, Suzaku."
Her stifled tears were heard by one lone student leaning against a wall.
His plan was complete. She would now be safe since she held him in contempt.
Little did he know it would later backfire when Suzaku pinned him to the bed.
"I wasn't lying, Lelouch."
22. nature
Mother Nature hated him.
Drenched and soaked to the bone, Lelouch trudged into the Student Council room with Rivalz in a tow.
Their latest gambling mission was successful. The noble lost the chess match and they got the money. However, the weather report only said 30% chance of rain. That wasn't convincing.
But the large pour down that greeted them at the front door was very convincing. Both dismissed it and set out to return to school quickly. However, they didn't think that the engine would be so waterlogged that the ignition wouldn't burn.
The subway had been packed and the ride back was relatively wet with everyone else in the same miserable condition or with an umbrella in that condition.
"This is what you get for gambling!" Shirley admonished.
"Ah, your all wet," Kallen noted.
"Looking as handsome as ever," Millay winked.
"Shouldn't you two change?" Nina asked.
"Meow~" Arthur purred.
Lelouch sighed. This was just great…
"You'll get a cold if you stay like that," Suzaku fussed.
He pushed Lelouch out of the room—"Where's my love?" Rivalz's voice could be heard down the hall—and lead him to his home—Suzaku's hand at the small of his back—and ran around for a towel.
Lelouch watched Suzaku's frantic search for a towel as he stood there silently making a puddle on the carpet. Seven years ago, Lelouch still remembered running around in the summer rain with Suzaku. Coming back tired, both of them just flopped onto the floor. It was warm enough to sleep in wet clothes, but even so, Lelouch still got sick. Miserable and flu-ridden, Lelouch really hated the rain. Of course, Suzaku—
A towel was flung on his head and a furious rubbing began, it lasted for some time before finally ending.
"You should know to be more careful than that."
A light peck of the lips and an affectionate squeeze.
"Now let's get you into some dry clothing, since showering is out of the question."
Afternoon classes would begin soon, but Suzaku forgot it was Student Council's free period. Not that Lelouch would remind him.
The rain still poured.
Mother Nature must love him.
23. death
Suzaku had always been numb, no, welcoming to the prospect of death. In death, he would finally be able to rest.
He wouldn't have to fight so hard anymore. No more recklessly throwing his life out there and disappointedly coming back. He would be able to find an end. Find an end to all the madness the world had become.
In death, he wouldn't think about Lelouch or Zero or the Black Knights or Britannia or Japan or Area 11. In death, he could finally apologize to his father and to Euphie. Not that she would blame him. She probably wouldn't even blame Lelouch for killing her, such as sweet soul, she was.
But instead he was cursed to live.
Many times during the Zero Requiem, he wondered how it would be like to let go. What if he let Bismark just—or maybe Gino—maybe fall from the sky, plummeting to the ground—drown in the sea—spite Lelouch and take his own life. But it all came back to their goal.
That had been the main motivation to escape the fatal explosion of Lancelot after the fight with Kallen.
Knowing he had one more task. A task that would last him a lifetime. And he couldn't rest until it was done.
His eyes glowing red with the power of Lelouch's Geass, he made his quick escape and down into the triumphant emperor's army. The explosion behind him merely prompted another death he escaped.
Hiding his face with the common visors of the Geassed soldiers, Suzaku wondered whether Death was annoyed at him yet. Maybe Death thought Suzaku hated it and that's why the boy kept running through its grasping fingers.
Oh, how wrong it would be.
It was just that Lelouch had a tighter grip on him than Death could ever have. And it had always been that way.
24. jealousy
He was not jealous of Shirley. After all, there was no logic to being jealous of Shirley.
She was not the one holding to this thin-bodied emperor. She was not the one kissing his cold lips or caressing his warm cheek.
She had been an unfortunate casualty of the Geass and the only emotion that came to mind was regret and maybe pity. Regret that she had to die for something so stupid and pity that she had to die at all. Shirley had been a nice girl. Someone who didn't deserve to die like that.
But even as he kissed the tyrant of Britannia, he knew it wasn't him that the other thought about. But even as he held the prince-now-emperor, he knew it wasn't his reflection in those purple and red eyes.
It was green-almost-yellow eyes and bright orange hair.
And Kugurugi Suzaku was not jealous of Shirley.
Just like Lelouch vi Britannia was never jealous of Euphemia.
Definitely not.
25. Soldiers
Lelouch once knew what loyal soldiers were. After all, the Order of the Black Knights had been some of his most trustworthy pawns.
But that only existed when he was Zero. Perfect and cold under an unmoving mask. A miracle worker who left no evidence in any tangible sense. Charismatic and fierce with sweeping notions and dramatic declarations.
Not when he was Lelouch. They tossed him the moment they knew he was only Lelouch. Only human with enough flaws to prove the inbreeding theory. Disregarding the fact his mother was a commoner of course, but just his father's side, things were pretty messed up.
Now he sat in his father's old throne, facing a squad of nervous but seasoned soldiers. And commanded them with his Geass to be his slaves. He demanded their loyalty and forwent the process to gain it.
Convenient yet so inconvenient.
A/N: Written long long ago when I was absolutely obsessed with this fandom. It was originally a challenge of 100 drabbles but, of course, seeing as how there are only 25, I never finished them.