Dog-Boy 12: King of the Lames
Last time we saw Dog-Boy he had just met and made a date with the tenacious Trixie. Now Dog-Boy prepares for his red hot rendezvous as best he can, but will he prove to be more Rover than Romeo?
Dog-Boy stood in front of his bedroom mirror in nothing but a white under-shirt and striped boxer shorts. He was meticulously combing his red hair to get it into just the right do.
"I sure hope tonight goes well," he said to himself. "Now that Rondy is out of the picture I really need to get myself out there and try to find a nice girl. Maybe Trixie will be the one for me."
He suddenly felt an itch on the back of his neck and instinctively raised his right leg and scratched it with his foot. Then he looked at himself in the mirror with disappointment.
"Of course no nice girl is gonna want to be with me if I can't learn to control my animal behavior," he said.
Silently he put his comb down on the dresser next to him and then began to put on the outfit he had picked out for his date; an orange button down shirt, black tie with red triangles on it, and a green, two-piece, checkered suit. Afterwords he took one final look at himself in the mirror.
"Don't blow it, bonehead," he said, and left the house.
Walking down the street on his way to the bowling alley where he was to meet Trixie, Dog-Boy spent the whole time inside his head rehearsing just what he was going to say and how he was going to act, so he didn't even notice the giant walking eyeball until he bumped into him.
"Oh, pardon me," said Dog-Boy. Then upon noticing the creature's unusual appearance he exclaimed, "Say, what are you? Are you one of those communists I'm always hearing about on the TV?"
"I ain't no commie! I'm a red-blooded American ball. I got a green card to prove it," said the eyeball creature, indignantly.
"Oh, no," said Dog-Boy, realizing he had offended him. "I just meant... it's just that I've never seen anyone like you before."
"Now ya seen me," said the eye, and he walked past Dog-Boy in a huff.
Dog-Boy watched as he went and as he did a strange impulse crept over him. Seeing a giant ball heading away from him, his doggy instinct was to immediately chase after it. He took one step in the direction of the eye and then stopped himself.
"What am I doing?" he said to himself. "I gotta get to the bowling alley. There's no time for this."
Suddenly he felt an itch behind his ear and he raised his hand and scratched it.
"Gosh, why am I so itchy today?" he said, and then headed on his way.
Not long afterwards, Dog-Boy and Trixie walked into the bowling alley called Alley Kats together. The joint was hopping with people of all shapes and sizes enjoying themselves. Since it was date night, there was an abundance of couples. After receiving their bowling shoes and picking out their balls, Dog-Boy and Trixie headed to their lane.
"Ooh, what fun," said Trixie in a giggly, high pitched voice. "I just love to bowl."
"M-m-mee too," Dog-Boy stuttered. Looking at Trixie's beautiful face made him flustered.
Trixie giggled again and that's when Dog-Boy realized that something about Trixie; her face, coupled with her bouncy dark hair in a bob hairdo seemed familiar to him. He just ignored that instinct, though, and smiled at her.
Just then, a familiar scent entered Dog-Boy's nose. He turned his head and was shocked by what he saw. Rondy, his ex-girlfriend, had just entered the bowling alley and was sauntering over to the lane next to his. And what's more, she was with a date of her own and it was none other than Dog-Boy's own psychiatrist, Dr. Shrinkman.
"What are you doing here?" Dog-Boy asked Rondy as soon as she was in earshot. "And why are you with her?"
"I'm allowed to see whoever I want," said the ravishing, red-headed Rondy. "Now that you and I are kaput. And Dr. Shrinkman's been a tremendous comfort to me in my time of need."
"Your time of need?" said Dog-Boy. "We only broke up yesterday!"
"Rondy is a very resilient woman," said Dr. Shrinkman in her thick German accent.
Dog-Boy stood there with his mouth open for a moment. Then his attention was quickly diverted.
"Dog-Boy, what's going on?" asked Trixie. She looked like she was almost going to pout.
"Oh, it's nothing," said Dog-Boy. "Just some old friends of mine. "Why don't you go first?"
Trixie smiled and palmed her ball. Dog-Boy and Rondy gave each other spiteful looks and then sat in seats far apart from each other on their own sides of the ball return machine. Trixie raised her ball and tip-toed up to the white line. She drew back her arm, swung it forward, and hurled the ball down the lane. Dog-Boy watched it roll and felt the same anxious desire to chase it he had felt earlier. To distract himself, he looked over at Rondy and Dr. Shrinkman. Rondy was in the older woman's arms and the two were canoodling aggressively. That just made him even more anxious and then his head began to itch.
"Grrr," he growled as he scratched his head furiously.
"Strike! I got a strike," yelled Trixie in triumph. She looked over to her date to see him scratching his head like a madman.
"Dog-Boy are you alright?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," said Dog-Boy. He stopped scratching and gave Trixie an innocent look.
"Oh, hey, there's my sister, Cindy," Trixie said, suddenly pointing behind Dog-Boy.
"Cindy?" he said, and turned.
As soon as he saw said sister, Dog-Boy's face fell. He imediatley recognized the blonde waitress with the bob hairdo who was serving a Harvey Wallbanger to a greaser, and what's more, she recognized him too as soon a she looked up. It was the same Cindy that had, only weeks prior, worked with him at Po Dunk's Diner. The same Cindy that he had dated and scared off with his doggy deeds.
What will happen now that Dog-Boy has found out he's dating the sister of an ex? Will the dog doo hit the fan? And what will become of Rondy and her September courtship with Dr. Shrinkman? What is causing Dog-Boy's mysterious itching? Find out next time!