Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or its characters. But I like to own them. :)
Note: I'm back. Yipee!

Before going to school, Mikan decided to stop by a joke shop in Central Town. Joke shops are peculiar, she supposed they were open that early. She bought a pink smiling face stress ball. She thought she needed it most at the moment. She didn't exactly not wanted to go to school, it was just that guilt had been building up even if she didn't do anything wrong.
She reached the school after fifteen minutes, squeezing her newly-bought stress ball in her hands. She saw him already, and her heart began to beat faster. She walked fast so he won't see her. She sat next to Yuu, like she does every weekdays.

"Hi," she greeted with a smile as she sat down.
He smiled back and the pressure in Mikan's chest subsided. He felt like home to her.
"You okay?" he asked, his bright voice ringing in her ears.
She nodded like there was really nothing going on.
"I bought this for fun," she lied, holding out the stress ball. She offered Yuu to hold the ball.
He took it and squeezed it in his own satisfaction. Mikan smiled, finding her own boyfriend adorable.
"Of all things to buy," he mumbled to himself.
"Well, it might be of good use someday," replied Mikan as she fixed her books into piles. In all truth, she thought it would be of good use as to resist then to vent.
Yuu did not talk anymore; he's not one to talk much.
Mikan, on the other hand, was a talkative, a close to talkative one but she had chosen to be silent instead. Just now.

"You okay?"
The same question got to Mikan when lunch came that same afternoon.
"Yuu asked me the same question and I'm telling you, I'm fine," she told Anna with a smile.
Anna looked at her for a short moment.
"You know," she began as she sat down beside her. "I think there is something going on."
She looked at Anna, considering deeply to tell her what was going on.
"Okay, it's abou--" She was interrupted by Nonoko, who just joined them at the table.
"It's about what?" asked Anna, her eyes eager to know.
Mikan shook her head.
"It's nothing," she lied, again, with a convincing smile. Although Anna was not convinced but she did not push through it.
Mikan fell silent after that, suddenly remembering that it was their lunch break. He was here. And even if she didn't want to see him, afraid to make eye contact, her eyes were browsing the whole cafeteria for him. Her eyes found Yuu, he was looking at her. He flashed her a small smile. Mikan, acting like he was the one she was looking for, mouthed, 'Oh, there you are.' Guilt swam up her chest and at that moment, the person she was looking for walked behind Yuu. Mikan, unintentionally, held her breath.

"Is it okay if I go to the dorm alone?" asked Mikan when Yuu had invited her to go home.
"Are you okay?" he asked, concern hidden beneath his face but not in his voice.
Mikan nodded.
"I'm fine," she said, brushing a hand on Yuu's slim arms. "I just want to walk by myself today. Something new, you know."
Yuu paused for a moment then broke out a sweet smile, which comes out very often.
"Okay, let's just talk at dinner," he said. Mikan nodded before he gave her a kiss on her forehead. Then Yuu left, Ruka welcoming him at the end of the hallway.
Mikan watched him leave the building, his small back disappearing through the doors. He was happy.
Mikan kept telling herself that she was not driving him away just because of someone else who doesn't even seem deserving.
She closed her grey locker door shut, took her bag from the shiny floor and left the school that was starting to empty. She thought she needed the time alone, to think, if there was something to think about. She hung her bag diagonally on her body and started to leave the school.
Mikan wanted him to stop, to stop what he's doing. She hated him for starting this whole thing between them. She didn't want him at first and neither did he. But he started and the weave of lies from her mouth had lengthened, building itself through time.
Mikan realized that her fingernails were digging in to the skin on her palm. She took out her stress ball and started squeezing it harder and harder.
"Sakura!"
A voice rang through her ears. She stopped, wondering if it's just her or he's really calling behind her. Footsteps were heard, she cursed in her mind. She knew he was there. She turned around, scowling at him. Even at the sight of him, her scowl was disappearing. He stood, four or five feet away from her. His black hair shining beneath the afternoon sun, he smiled, looking as handsome as he was every single day.
"What do you want? I have no time for whatever you want to do," said Mikan. She tried.
"Nothing, just passing by," he said, nonchalantly walking past her.
Mikan eyes followed him, watching him walk away from her. She tried to keep her feet frozen to the ground. He looked behind him; saw Mikan standing there like a statue.
"Aren't you coming?" he asked, his perfectly made smile still there. And Mikan could not resist, she walked towards his waiting stance.
They walked in a few moments of silence. Their dormitories were next to each other, most likely, he would be there the whole time she would be walking. In all honesty, she stayed late for this. But a part of her was angry at her bad decision. She knew she was hurting Yuu even if he does not know it yet.
They both reached her house, they stopped walking. And when he faced her, she suddenly remembering that she was holding her stress ball, knowing that, she started squeezing it frantically.
He walked closer, and her squeeze got harder as the distance between them shortened.
"Y-You've got to stop this," she breathed.
"Stop what?" he whispered calmly.
Mikan's hands were shaking as she lifted this, putting it on his chest, pushing him slightly back.
"This, what you're doing," she said, her voice was not vindicating what she said. "I have Yuu."
"Oh," he said, without disappointment in his voice, and he did not pull back either.
Mikan closed her eyes so she could try harder in pushing him away from. But to no avail, he still stood there.
"I'm not doing anything," he said simply.
Mikan opened her eyes, they looked at each other for a short moment.
I don't want you, I don't want you, I don't want you, she kept repeating in her mind. But his smile seemed frozen in his face, and his eyes staring at her with mischief screaming in his expression. He's not Yuu, he's not Yuu, she repeated to herself.
His handsome face distanced nearer to her, she had that urge to touch his face but she had successfully fought it. The light in his eyes was building up as he stared at her, seeing her own reflection in his eyes.
"Natsume," she whispered, pleading because he's the only one who can go. But he didn't.
He kissed her. She gave in immediately, kissing his soft lips. Beneath her lost senses, she felt the stress ball slide away from her palm.

She hadn't even kissed Yuu.

[END]