I am now going to make a mockery of the orignal resident evil game. DONT HURT ME
OWN I DO NOTHINGNOT
"Its twelve o clock, and my butt itches. That usually means something bad is about to happen, but I think nothing of it. Well besides the fact I may have a rash, but that does not matter because I am Chris Redfield and I…." But he was cut off by Barry slapping him across the face.
"SHUT UP." He yelled. "MAKE ME LUMPY." Chris fired back. And so Barry and Chris engaged in a slap fight. "WESKER PERMISSION TO KICK THEM BOTH IN THE NUTS." Jill yelled. "Permission granted." He said smoothly.
Jill turned and kicked both of them in there nuts. Wow for a small helicopter it sure is roomy. "Hey look it's the bravo helicopter." Joseph yelled putting his box of doggie kibble down. "Brad land now." Wesker said looking around.
"Joseph did you bring your box of kibble?" Wesker asked a little nervously. "YUP it's my lucky box. Why?" "No reason whatsoever." After brad landed everyone got off except for Chris and Barry. They fell off and got up shakily. "So much pain." Chris said slowly. "Here you retards." Jill said handing them both a first aid spray.
"Go spray behind a tree please." Wesker added quickly. They both shuffled off and returned a few seconds later walking perfectly. "Tingly." Barry said with a smile. Wesker turned and mumbled something about death by a giant snake.
Joseph, who now had his box in his hand, tripped and the box went flying. When it hit a rock it exploded and kibble went flying everywhere. "NOOOOOOOO MY KIBBLE." Joseph yelled.
As soon as the kibble was on the floor, seven dogs appeared out of nowhere with flesh coming off of there bodies. "Nice doggies, very nice doggies." Joseph said walking back slowly. Then one of the dogs began to eat some kibble. Joseph blinked and then fell into a rabid rage.
He jumped the dog and began to kick him, while yelling "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY KIBBLE." Soon the other 6 dogs joined in and after a couple of seconds Joseph was reduced to a puddle of brown blood. "Why brown?" Chris asked. "Too much kibble probably." Wesker said. One of the dogs turned and looked straight at brad. It seems Brad peed in his pants.
He began to take off when some off the pee went into the circuits and caused the helicopter to explode. "...he he he sorry." Brad said quickly. He turned and pulled out a manual. "What the hell is that?" Jill asked. "It's a manual on how to make a jetpack out of twigs, some leaves, a fire, and some metal." He responded.
After about twenty minutes Brad had a working jetpack. "Well see ya later suckers." He yelled laughing. After a while he disappeared and the 7 dogs turned toward the remaining S.T.A.R.S members. "Um something tells me we need to run." Barry said turning. "Hey lets run into that conveniently placed mansion and hope that there are no zombies or giant spiders or giant snakes or giant monsters with claws that might kill me." Wesker said quickly causing everyone to turn and stare at him.
"Why should we?" Jill asked completely forgetting about the dogs. "Um……..they have tacos?" Wesker answered. "OH MY GOD TACOS. I LOVE TACOS, WITHOUT TACOS I COULD EXPLODE INTO A MILLION PIECES." Jill screamed causing one of the dogs to die because his ears exploded.
Jill grabbed Barry, who grabbed Wesker, who Grabbed Chris and ran so fast to the mansion, it took the dogs fifteen whole minutes to realize they were gone. They began to chase after them. "JILL THERE GAINING ON US." Chris yelled. "BARRY REACH INTO MY POCKET AND PULL OUT A GERNADE." Jill yelled. Barry reached into her butt pocket and squeezed as hard as he could. "NO BARY THE OTHER ONE."
Again he reached into her second butt pocket and squeezed. "BARRY YOU DUMBASS THE OTHER POCKET." This time Barry reached into the right pocket and pulled out a grenade. He threw it and it landed in one of the dog's mouth.
After a few seconds it exploded causing one of the dogs to go flying and another to fly forward and break threw a window in the mansion. When they reached the doors Jill could not stop so she grabbed Barry and threw him in the air threw a window. Wesker and Chris went with him.
Jill calmly walked in and closed the door locking it. "Sorry guys. My bad….hey wait WHERE THE HELL ARE THE TACOS WESKER." Jill yelled. Barry walked down the stairs limping. "Around the corner and up your …." He was cut off by the sound of wesker screaming like a little girl. Jill ran back up and stopped when she saw Chris pulling a piece of glass out of Wesker's ass. Heh that rhymed.
"Do I want to know?" Jill Asked. "Less talkie more pullie." Wesker said. Chris pulled out another piece and wesker screamed again. Poor wesker…….lets see how brad is doing. He was flying over a wal-mart when a boy shot at him with a water gun. The water hit the flames and it exploded. "Mommy look fireworks." The boy said laughing at brad. Oh well.
Yes i took that sentence from invader zim. GIR RULES. he is very funny. R&r