I do not own Inuyasha, or the characters that are included. I do not own story-line or the outcome of the story. I write only what I wish to happen.
Prologue
The Shikon no Tama was complete, a whole jewel that shone with a bright light, continuing it's plight as a pure jewel. It had yet to be used, by any youkai or Inuyasha for that fact. Kagome had been successful in her goal. Asking Inuyasha to give thought to what he wanted to do with the jewel, as Kagome had promised that she would give the jewel to him when it was once again completed. To some, that might not have sounded like such a grand idea, but he had helped her piece the jewel back together, and what would she do with the Shikon? Nothing. Inuyasha, impatient and eternally grumpy, had agreed to spend some time thinking about what he really wanted to do with the jewel. Miroku was no longer in threat of being eaten by his own wind tunnel, the hole in his hand full of flesh and bone. Sango had in her own way exacted revenge on Naraku for his movement in the death of her village and family. Kikyou still had not passed from the living world into Hell, but she had posed little threat to the group since the death of Naraku. Both Inuyasha and Kagome knew though, it was not going to be the last time that they saw her, it was inevitable. The pace of the new life was slow, compared to the dangerous and exotic speed when they were in a race against time and Naraku.
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Kagome watched the sun peak over the hills of Feudal Japan, a deep feeling of fear nestled harshly in her stomach. Why was she still there? The jewel was complete and all wrong had been righted (for the most part), no more demons to fight, no more days on end searching for a shard of the jewel. So again she asked herself the dreadful question, why was she still sitting upon the grassy hill of Feudal Japan, when she knew that she had a whole other life on the other side of the well? Her reasons could be summoned up by one word alone. Inuyasha. True she didn't wish to leave behind the friends that she had made during her time in Feudal Japan, but it was the hanyou that kept her there, reluctant to leave. More than a year had passed since she had first arrived, her eyes alighting on the supposedly peaceful form of Inuyasha pinned to the ancient tree, and after all this time, she had fallen deeply in love with the hanyou. More than she could ever express. She might be able to accept that he still held deep-rooted feelings for Kikyo, maybe, but she could not completely give up on what she wanted, by leaving behind the Feudal Age and never returning. Could she live with herself than? She didn't think she could, but had she the strength to continue watching Inuyasha meet with Kikyou, and watch the emotions that transpired between them? Eventually it would dry her of all her love, eventually it would fuel her petite body with anger, instead of happiness. So why did she stay?
She was not aware of the tears that had started to form in her eyes, nor the few runaways that dragged themselves down her cheek. Just the thought brought the tears to her eyes. No, she couldn't stand to see Inuyasha with Kikyou again, no matter what she had promised him. Hadn't she said that she would stay with him till he chose? What if it wasn't her that he decided upon, and it was the dead Miko? Kagome knew that her limits did not stretch that far, and upon hearing the news she was discarded, she would break down, and that was something she did not want Inuyasha to see. If she was to be only a memory that was visisted upon, she wanted to be remembered as leaving with a smiling face and clear eyes, standing as straight and strong as she could. She did not want to be remembered as a sniveling girl running through the tree's with tears streaking from her eyes. It was decided than. No matter what she had promised, no matter what she had told Inuyasha she would do, she couldn't go through with it. With a sigh, she stood, running her hands over her uniform, forcing down her memories of Inuyasha's initial confusion and disgust at her way of dressing. She would not let her decision be faulted by memories.
She turned, and made her way back to Kaede's village, where the group had been staying for the past week, trying to mentally grasp the idea that they were free of their mission. Her backpack was there, though her bicycle had been destroyed months ago by a demon. She had stationary and a pencil stashed away, where she would write Inuyasha a letter, explaining her absence. She would not be able to face him, and keep her eyes dry, it was an impossible idea to stay dry-eyed when she knew what she was going to have to say. When she entered Kaede's hut, there was no one else around. No doubt they had gone out to enjoy the sun shine that was by now full and unaffected by the morning sky. She sat down on her sleeping bag, pulling out her utensils and setting to write a letter to the one that she loved.
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Inuyasha would have never admitted that the previous night, he had fallen asleep after the others, and had remained so till the dawn broke over the hills. He hadn't even heard Kagome leave the hut, and disappear into the chilly dew. At first of course he had worried, all sorts of ideas had crawled into his brain. She'd been kidnapped, snatched away in the middle of the night. Koga or Kikyo. But of course Miroku and Sango had both been the voice of reasoning, and had assured him it was only her wishing to get fresh air. While he still felt a little unsure of Kagome's disappearance, he wouldn't question it even more. She always needs time to herself. Will never understand why. She's just too sensitive. His demon side smirked underneath the surface, though his human side didn't seem to have a witty come back to such a comment. Inuyasha brushed away strands of his white hair as the wind pulled them annoyingly in his face. Hopefully Kagome would return soon. Maybe she's getting into mischeif. A silent growl from Inuyasha before he crossed his arms over his chest, watching the others as they moved about setting up a few packets of food. A picnic was what Kagome had called it once. Peace seemed to pervade everything around those that stood in the morning sun, that is until Kaede, Hag, ran up, a piece of paper flying between her fingertips. She was yelling urgently, her one-eyed gaze turned towards Inuyasha. Of course the only thing that he caught was Kagome.
Jumping down from his high branch, he met Kaede half way, snatching the paper from her hand as she struggled for breathe, and tried to talk at the same time.
"This was in the hut..... Kagome.....gone, her stuff.....gone as well......"
Inuyasha's golden gaze flickered towards her with fear rooted deep inside. Why would she have up and left without telling any of them? Turning his attention to the sheet of paper, and the scribbled writing upon it, she must have been in a hurry, or too emotional to write straight. He spend a good five minutes reading and re-reading the words.
Inuyasha,
By the time Kaede has found my letter, and no doubt brought it to you immediately, I will of course already be gone, through the well and back to my time. This time, it is permanent. I cannot stand by and continue to watch you battle your emotions between Kikyo and me. I know that I promised to stay by your side till you found your path, but I cannot stay, and hurt my own self any longer. I have entrusted the Shikon Jewel to Kaede, who will give it to you once you have made your decision. I doubt you will, but if you happen to lose all your sane thoughts, do not try to come after me. By this time the well has been destroyed and no one will be able to travel from this time to mine any longer, not even me.
With a gasp of fear and anger, Inuyasha gripped the paper harshly in his hand as he took off towards the well. No, it couldn't be, he could get there before she left, and if not, than at least before the well was destroyed. He could not let all connections to Kagome be cut off so abruptly. How could she just pack up and leave him like she had? Was the letter true? Did it really pain her to stay and watch him waver between one woman towards the other? Of course it does, how thick-headed are you? He winced as even his usually sarcastic demon side berated him. Did he love Kagome? He couldn't answer that without giving it days of thought. He felt for her, there was an emotion that was strong for Kagome, but he just didn't know if it was love or not. No doubt, that after all this time he did feel at least some sort of friendship with her, they had gone through many things together, and she had seemed to accept him and who he was through it all. She had been the only one to brave his demon side so that he could return to his hanyou state. She was the only one that dared remind him of his mistakes. The only one that dared push him further and harder than anyone. She was what made him stronger, she was the one that gave him the strength to fight, to live. So why could he not truthfully answer whether or not he loved her? What was it that kept him from grabbing the girl and proclaiming days worth of love and devotion? Was it Kikyo, or was it his own stubbornness? Kagome, please be there. Please do not leave me now. Finally the well came into view, without a Kagome to accompany it. But it was the sight of the well in it's current state that sent Inuyasha to his knee's at it's side. Indeed, it had been destroyed. The sides had collapsed inward, and by peering through the wooden planks, he could see that the dirt on the inside had collapsed. On the side of the destroyed well, an arrow was firmly planted. Kagome's arrow. She had destroyed it herself. Tears threatened to spill from his golden eyes, as a scent caught at his nostrils. It was Kagome's smell, but it wasn't strong enough to be her entire form. Looking up from his sitting position, to the side, forgotten by the girl, a shirt laid upon the ground. He had no doubt that it had been nestled in her backpack, and had in her haste become undone and the extra shirt had been dropped. Crawling over to where it lay, his clawed hands snatched at the fabric with extreme possessiveness. Pulling it to his chest, and laying his head down so that the scent of the girl could be scented, he stayed in this position for minutes on end, before he finally braved to read the rest of her letter. Cradling the shirt to his chest, he lifted up the now wrinkled letter and picked up from where he had left off.
....I'm sorry that my promise has been broken. I wish that I could stay with you, not till you made a decision, but forever. I know you are probably screaming "Wench" or "Bitch" by now, and you might have already ripped this to shreds, and have moved on. I know that human emotions are useless and uncomprehendable to you but....
At this point, there was more writing, but it had been scribbled out and half erased, so that it was impossible to tell what she had been saying. Inuyasha would not give up on her message so easily, and spent even more minutes with squinted eyes and a searching soul, till indeed he made out what it was that had been written.
...my mortal body, and my mortal soul, LOVE you with all that it has. I cannot tell this to you in person, because I fear that I will break in my center from the pain. To know that you love Kikyo and have no feelings for me, and here I am, expressing my love for you.
I hope that your life is long and peaceful, I hope that Kikyo can give you what you need and want, even if I couldn't be the one to give it to you, I still offer you luck.
Eternally,
Kagome
A scream of mental pain and horrible despair filled the air as Inuyasha gripped at the sides of his cranium. Clutching now both letter and shirt in his grasp, he spewed tears of sadness into the fabric, his heart wrenching in two. Was she really gone? Was he really here now, without her? Could he even live without her? So many questions, so much pain. Was this what Kagome felt every day that she saw him? Had he really hurt her that bad? It was too much for even the hanyou, the emotion, the ache, too much for even his body, and without another sound or word, he fell to the side, unconscious. Small silver tears continued to roll out from his closed eyelids.
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"Who am I to need you now
to ask you why to tell you no
to deserve your love and sympathy
you were never meant to belong to me."