In his dreams:
This is a prompt fill for the USS Caryl challenge. I did my own spin on it. The prompt is "Caryl finally get together but it is a dream"
Warning Angst ahead….
This is dedicated to some special people: Muthawalker, Ripley, Cherokee Rose, Joho, Argent Gale, Upsgirl88, and Sanja.
The dust speckled light filtered through the gaps in the wall, the only illumination in the hole that had become their "home".
He wanted to sleep, to escape into his dreams.
They had been his one refuge his whole miserable life.
In his dreams, he is brave, confident, self-assured.
He is a leader, compassionate, kind.
In reality he is a follower, hiding his fears, bitterness and loneliness behind veils of anger and a cocky persona of strength.
The others nod off, the sounds of their breathing of their whimpers bring him no comfort.
He wants to sleep.
In his dreams he is never cold, never hungry, he runs free,
In reality his body shivers, his stomach grumbles, he is trapped.
Caught in a snare, a prisoner with no hope of escape or early release.
He watches the others as they cling to each other, seeking safety and hope.
He sees the bonds that have formed, strong and impenetrable between them.
He sits and wants to lose himself in his dreams.
In his dreams she waits for him, haunts him in all the best ways.
Her smile guides him, her laugh echoes ,
Her eyes, those god damn eyes that see everything,
Eyes that pull him in,
Shows the reflection of how she sees him.
Shows him everything he wants to be.
In reality he wants to be that man she sees, wonders if he could ever be that man.
He sees the others shift in their sleep, pull the bodies of those they love closer.
He wants to sleep.
In his dreams he's not the awkward fuck who is too afraid to touch her,
He knows just what to say to her, her name spoken like a caress, a prayer.
He reaches out, runs his finger down her dewy cheek, slides his fingers into her silver crown,
Pulls her body close to his as his hands glide across her in reverence.
He can feel her breathy sigh across his face as he brings their lips together,
He feels her fingers travel over him, shy , hesitant and loving.
His tongue traces paths he only dreams of, her neck, the shell of her ear,
Chases her freckles.
In reality his hands shake, he is too much of a coward to reach for her,
To touch her in all the ways he craves,
his own hand the only one that has touched him in an intimate way in a very long time.
He wants to close his eyes, wants to find her.
In his dreams their bodies move together, seeking release,
She moans his name as he loves her
She whispers that that she loves him, has always loved him,
That she always will love him.
He pulls her closer still as she sleeps.
His arms keeping her safe as her face burrows into his neck.
He has so many regrets in life, the things he's done and said.
The biggest regret is the things left undone, left unsaid.
He knows they are going to die here in this box.
He wants to dream.
In his dreams they dance under the stars, their glow cast her in ethereal light.
There is no pain, no sorrow, only them.
Only him and her.
He has lived a thousand lifetimes with her in his dreams.
Has loved her and been loved in his dreams.
He wants to sleep, to dream.
They are all he has….
.