Déjà Vu
Chapter 1
Tick tock tick tock. The pounding of the second hand on the clock ticking reminded Vicki just how important this exam actually was. Tap tap tap tap all ideas of what she had learned in her a level poetry lessons with Mr Budgens, well she said learnt but she'd learned the majority of it out of a text book. Tick tap tock tap, tick tap tock tap Vicki had quite successfully managed to get the sound of the clock ticking and her pen tapping to happen alternatively. She read the exam question again ; 'Explore the ways that Carol Ann Duffy shows her lesbian relationship in the poem Oppenhiems Cup and Saucer'. This was her least favourite poem out of the cluster. And as for Carol Ann Duffy's lesbian relationship, Vicki didn't even know she'd had one. She looked around the room and everyone else was deep in thought and writing; and the majority of them had written side after side after side. Vicki then looked back down to her paper and all that was written at the top was the title and an introductory paragraph.
After the three hours of poetry hell Vicki had endured, pleased that she had managed to write a fairly good essay. She got out and spoke to Jess. Ever since they'd both found out they were pregnant their relationship had been like a rollercoaster but now it seemed better. Now that Vicki had lost her baby it Jess seemed more willing to be friends. This was stereotypical Jess. As long as the spot light was on her Jess was happy. Vicki was quietly relieved that she had lost the baby. As sad as she'd been when she was told she wouldn't have the chance to be a mum she was relieved. Relieved that when she did have a child she would be ready. She could provide for it and give it a nice house and everything it ever wanted; opposed to the council house and benefits she would be living off if she hadn't have lost it. A blessing in disguise. That's what it was. And the fact that it was Aiden's would have made having the baby horrible. It would have been horrible having had to look at the baby and see everyday living evidence that she had cheated on Ronan with her best friend's boyfriend. Yes now she was glad.
As she walked down the corridor to meet her boyfriend, Ronan, she saw Finn. She hated seeing him so down. To her, he was like a little brother and every since Sam's death he hadn't been himself. She knew that this was to be expected but he wouldn't talk to anyone. She knew it'd always been in his nature but he'd really been able to open up to Sam and tell her everything and now it was like three quarters of his heart was gone away and would never get that bit back. He'd never loved anyone more. Not even Amy. Who he'd nearly persuaded to commit suicide with.
As she met Ronan, she was relieved to find he too had found the exam just as hard. As they were talking she saw Aiden snogging the face off another girl. It took every restraint in Vicki's body to not go over there and either slap Aiden or go and tell the girl exactly what a dirty little user he actually was.
Ronan and Vicki walked home hand in hand and then and only then did the reality hit. Vicki had finished all exams from now until uni. Uni. What daunting concept. And then there was the debt. She'd been working every day after school for the past 2 years and had managed to save up just over £3,000. Nowhere near enough; not even for one year. She'd managed to get a job in the local Sainsburys but again she knew that whatever she made from this would go straight on living costs.
But Vicki wasn't thinking about that now. No, she had 4 months of parties, days out and just generally having a laugh. Yes she had work but that was now from 9 til 3, so there were still plenty of hours left in the day. As she and Ronan met Jess, Ronan was planning another one of his underground parties with Finn. Ronan was surprised that Finn had even agreed because last time it had brought he and Sam closer together and now she wouldn't even be there. Ronan took this as why, he either wanted to forget and get on with his life or try and revisit all the good times in their life.
Ronan kissed Vicki on the cheek before meeting up with Finn and going to their top secret location. Jess walked off with Vicki in the opposite direction. Jess babbaling on about being pregnant. Vicki secretly missed it would all stop. She would never say it to her face, but Jess's constant pregnant monologue was being a bit repetitive and boring. Anyway Vicki endured it, hoping that afterwards the topic of conversation would steer away from Jess and to Vicki's delight it did. It then turned to what they would wear to Ronan and Finn's party. To Vicki this felt wrong since only this time last year had she been having the exact same conversation with Sam. Everyone had seemed to be trying to forget about her but it seemed that the 7 of them wouldn't; Vicki; Ronan; Amy; Kyle; Harry; Lauren; and Finn along with all her family would never forget her. They'd all been invited to her funeral only they didn't know if they really wanted to go. Tonight would be hard enough. Tonight would just be a constant reminder. But they had to endure it for Finn's sake.
DISCLAIMER: i don't own any of the character, andy of the places, shops or people mentioned or the poem and i have no disrespect for Carol Ann Duffy. PLEASE REVIEW.