Author's Note: Merry Christmas, everyone! This is my way of saying thank you to all my wonderful readers and reviewers, especially feathersnow who helped me come up with this idea in the first place. I'm posting the first two chapters now, and hopefully will have the finale up by tomorrow.

I was originally hoping to fit this idea into my Parental!RoyEd fic Till I'm a Hundred, You Idiot, but ultimately felt this was too extensive of an idea to fit a single chapter. It was heavily inspired by the movie Charlie St. Cloud; those who are familiar with the story will probably be able to predict some of what's going to happen and recognize some similarities, but it's different enough that I'm pretty sure there will be as many surprises for them as for those who haven't seen the movie at all. (One thing I will point out is that the poem I've quoted is quoted in the movie, and later on I'll be taking a quote almost verbatim from some heart-wrenchingly beautiful dialogue between Charlie and Sam.) The story is set in a modern-technology AU, but there's still alchemy and everything familiar from the original setting. Enjoy!

Chapter One: Next to Me

trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward)
honour the past
but welcome the future

- e. e. cummings

So keep me awake for every moment
Give us more time to feel this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

- "Awake" by Josh Groban

Roy Mustang couldn't help staring at the boy sitting in the wheelchair in front of him, gazing glumly into his lap. He looked so tiny and pitiful, a mere eleven years old, already missing half his limbs. Orphaned. Lost. It was hard to believe he could have done something like that, but there was no denying it. Roy had seen the blood. He'd seen the circle, a circle far more complex and detailed than he would have been able to manage till he was eighteen. Edward Elric had performed human transmutation.

Roy sipped the tea Pinako Rockbell had given him, but only out of politeness. His heart was pounding wildly as he thought of the potential this boy possessed. He was a genius. If he could be trained even further, harnessed for the good of the country... But he mustn't let himself get carried away. "You're a very talented boy, Edward," he began carefully. "What would you say if I offered you the chance to put that talent to use?"

Pinako suddenly interrupted, thumping her pipe down on the table. "Hold it right there, Mr. Mustang! I know what you're about to say – that Ed should join you. That he should become a State Alchemist! A dog of the military." She looked as though she wanted to spit, but just shoved more tobacco in her pipe instead.

But the boy had finally looked up, so Roy didn't give up hope yet. "Forgive me, Mrs. Rockbell, but I think we should hear what Edward has to say." He looked at Edward's golden eyes, slowly lighting up with hope. "As a State Alchemist, you will be given access to every resource the government has to offer, as well as funding for research. Yes, you will have to do as ordered. If Drachma violates the truce and war breaks out, you will be deployed. But," he added, holding up his hand as Pinako looked ready to protest again, "I would add that, if the Drachma War did break out again, you wouldn't avoid it just because you weren't in the military already. The draft would extend even to Risenpool."

He sat back in his chair, holding Edward's gaze even as he drained his cup. "So what will it be? Will you follow your dream and increase your knowledge of alchemy? Or will you stay here for the rest of your life, feeling sorry for yourself?"

He stood, reaching for his coat, and dared to glance at Pinako again. She looked livid. "Now, wait just a moment, I-"

"Granny."

They both fell silent and looked at Edward, whose head was bowed over his lap again. Then Edward raised his head, and instead of his previous hopeless lethargy, his eyes burned with the fire of determination. "I made a mistake," he said in a low, pained voice. "And I know I can't take it back...but I want to get better at alchemy. I'll become a State Alchemist."

Pinako's face crumpled. "Ed...you don't mean...?"

A tiny, sad smile lifted the corners of his mouth. "Don't worry. I won't try human transmutation again. I know what I've lost. But maybe even someone like me can make this world just a little bit better, somehow. Alchemy is supposed to help people...and as a State Alchemist, I'll be able to help even more people than I can like this."

Roy smiled and nodded, even as Pinako's shoulders slumped in defeat. "That's the spirit, kid. See you in Central."

"Granny, fit me out with automail." He said that so easily, but he hadn't anticipated how hard it would really be. It was an obvious necessity, if he was to become a State Alchemist as he had decided – after all, he wouldn't be of much good to the state with two stubs and a wheelchair. But even with the most modern technology and the strongest drugs available, fitting two robotic prosthetics to his limbs was hard on his body.

Pinako had a special rural license issued by the government that allowed her to perform the surgery out of her own home, and at Edward's bidding she set up the bed in which he would recuperate in the very same room he had lost his limbs in the first place. Pinako protested at first, saying it would be much more convenient if they could treat him in their own house, but then Winry pointed out that here, he would have easy access to plenty of books to keep his mind off the pain.

Edward said nothing.

The first two weeks were torture, but slowly the pain began to subside and his body began to heal. Edward focused on the physical therapy to get his new limbs working correctly, ignoring Pinako's predictions that it would take a year to make them fully functional. He was eager to get going, to take Mustang up on his offer, to do something with his life and stop huddling in his bed or wheelchair like a cripple.

And then the time finally came, only six months later. He called up the office at Central City, got shunted back and forth between several disbelieving receptionists, and finally was referred to Mustang himself. They set up an appointment for him to be tested by the State Alchemist committee, and Edward only had to count down the hours until he would find out if he had what it took or not.

Alphonse came to him the night before he left, sitting down quietly in the chair beside him. Edward looked up, shrewdly examining his little brother's expression. "What's up?"

He looked down at his shoes. "You're really going to do it, aren't you? Become a State Alchemist."

"I sure hope so. If Mustang wasn't just shooting off his mouth back then."

"You'll make it. I know you will."

Edward felt his chest swelling at the pride and confidence he heard in Alphonse's voice, but something was still wrong.

Alphonse carefully looked anywhere but at him. "When you get your watch...are you going to move to East City?"

"What? No way! I'm living here with you! I'll just hop on the train and commute to work."

"But isn't that like four hours away?"

Edward couldn't believe they were having this conversation. Hoping to reassure Alphonse, he snorted and went back to his book. "Look, there's no way I'm going to move away from this house just so I can sleep in and walk to work. This is my home, and you're my family. That's all."

Roy watched carefully from the balcony as Edward walked into the examination room. The Fuhrer and several officials stood ready to assess him, while the few lucky enough to obtain permission to be in the room stood on either side of Roy. They had a perfect vantage point to see everything that happened below, unlike everyone else in the country. There were no cameras in this room, and no media was allowed access to the applicants until a decision had been made.

Of course, that meant there were no security cameras in the room, either. When Fuhrer Bradley had given a short introduction and asked to see a practical demonstration of his alchemic ability, Edward clapped his hands and transmuted a spear from the floor. Rather than being content with the astonished looks on everyone's faces, Edward whipped his archaic weapon around and charged directly towards the Fuhrer. Roy started. What was the boy thinking?

The Fuhrer's bodyguards whipped out their guns, but the point of the spear was already at Bradley's neck. Bradley waved his bodyguards away when Edward stopped and lowered his spear again, smiling. "You know, I get why you don't have security cams in here, but don't you think you'd better have tighter security than this? Anything could happen."

Bradley smiled back. "I'll take that into consideration. You've got guts, Edward Elric, and I like seeing that in my State Alchemists. But you might want to be more careful yourself."

He chuckled as he walked away, leaving a stunned Edward clutching two halves of his spear and obviously wondering how Bradley could have chopped it in half so quickly. Roy was less surprised, having had previous experience with Bradley's lightning-fast reflexes, but he smiled secretly to himself. Edward had done remarkably well, and he could already sense the appreciative glances cast his way.

When Edward was chosen as a State Alchemist, Roy met him outside Headquarters to congratulate him. "So you really made it, kid. The youngest State Alchemist in history...and also the shortest, I might add."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A BULLET-SIZED HUMAN WEAPON?"

"Hey, nobody told me there was a party!"

Roy knew before an over-exuberant arm wrapped around his shoulders that his best friend Hughes had come.

"So, Roy told me all about you," Hughes said comfortably, grinning down at Edward, who still looked miffed. "Whaddya say you all come over to my house to celebrate? My wife makes the best quiche you've ever tasted!"

Edward looked genuinely torn. "I'd love to, but...I've really gotta get home."

Hughes deflated a little. "Are you sure? Well, maybe some other time!"

"Yeah, maybe."

Roy wondered why he got the impression that Edward had no intention of ever eating dinner at Hughes's house.

Edward hurried through the hallway, barely even stopping to slam the front door closed. But when he burst into the study at the back of the house, he saw that he needn't have worried. Alphonse was waiting for him, reading a book like always, but looking up as soon as the door opened. "Brother...did you...?"

A grin stretched his cheeks to the limit, and he brandished his shiny new silver watch at his little brother. "Check it out! The youngest State Alchemist in history! The exam was a cinch for a genius like me!" He carelessly tossed the watch onto the pillow of his bed under the window, and kicked his shoes off before flopping down on the floor next to Alphonse.

"Oh, really?" Alphonse said with a good-natured smirk. "Then how come you look exhausted?"

Edward realized he was yawning, and quickly tried to interrupt it by mumbling, "Aw, shut up." He pulled towards him the book he'd been reading the night before and settled down to read it. "I'm not tired at all."

"Then I guess you're not too tired for...this!" Alphonse suddenly pounced on him, and they wrestled around on the floor. Edward almost won, with the advantage his automail gave him, until Alphonse jabbed at his ribs and left him shrieking helplessly with laughter.

Several breathless minutes later, they lay on the cool floor, basking in the contented silence. Alphonse, who lay with his head resting on Edward's stomach, eventually spoke up. His voice was quiet and vulnerable as he said, "Everything's going to be different now, isn't it?"

Edward felt a chill run down his spine, a weight on his heart that he'd successfully ignored ever since that awful night. He'd been hoping he could push it away if he got this job, but now that he had it... Had he made the right choice? Maybe he'd only made things worse.

"No," he said firmly, scowling at the ceiling. "Nothing will change. Nothing is ever going to change. Even if I'm a State Alchemist. We'll always be brothers, after all."

Alphonse raised his head slightly, looking earnestly into his brother's eyes. There was something almost desperate in his voice. "Promise - everyday, come rain or shine, through hell or high water?"

Edward's fingers closed around Alphonse's hand, pushing the nagging worries into the furthest corner of his mind. "I promise."