My mom cried over me when they burried me and yelled at my coffin that I was a stupid little boy for casing that Kimmy girl and getting myself killed. Mom's started drinking. She used to do the when I was really little even before me and KP met she and dad had been have problems and she used to take it out on me but only when she was real drunk. She stopped when I was 4 and a half she'd broken my arm it scared her onto the wagon I never told Kim that but I never held it against my mom she was great after she sobbered up and started working, but now she's drinking again and Dad's to depressed to do much more the sit and stare at the walls. I'm worried about them. Kim's gone to the house a few times to make sure mom has something other then beer in her belly and dad drinks some water. I'm sorry she has to see them like this. I'm sorry they're hurting like this too. I'm glad KP's taking care of them for me. I miss Rufus he's the only one I can't see he's to far away I miss him he was my best little buddy I could tell him anything and he couldn't tell anyone what I said, well actionly Rufus most likely could have but he didn't. I hope he's okay my Jersy cousins are brats and might hurt him i wish Kimmy would of taken him. Sorry I'm babbling. I'm just loney mostly and worried. Mom thinks my dieing is my own fault and I guess she's right if I hadn't been trying to be something I'm not then this won't of happened. I wish I could tell kim that she's so guilty. It's funny my dad, my mom and Kim are taking this the hardest yet not one of the is really sad over it Kim's guilty and regrets her failure. She'd never failed before so I guess it was a biggy to learn from. My mom's angry mostly at me, And dad, dad's just numb he doesn't feel anything. I wish I could just move on I'm tired of watching them all at school, at my house, at my grave it just hurts. It's not fair none of it they shouldn't be suffering over me it's not fair! I'm crying but ghost don't cry, do they?