Behind These Hazel Eyes
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything it felt so right
Unbreakable
Like nothing could go wrong
But now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
The car ride home had been painful, at best. Ryan had, being the gentleman he was, driven Natalia home. Instead of pouring her heart out to him, she sat in abysmal silence, a stalwart frown on her beautiful caramel face. Once pulling into Natalia's driveway, he locked the car and stared at her with heartbreaking puppy dog eyes. "Natalia, do you want to talk about it?"
"Not particularly," Natalia replied, and then turned her eyes back out the window. "Ryan," she spoke more to herself than to him, "will you please let me out of the car?" There was silence in response. Ryan placed a gentle, soft hand on her cheek and turned her face directly in front of his. "I'll never hurt you."
Natalia's eyes burst with tears. "Stay the night," she pleaded softly, with love.
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
I just thought you were the one
Broken up
Deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
"Hey Ryan," Natalia greeted as she loaded her purse, slamming the locker closed.
"Hey 'Talia," Ryan replied, organizing the books he had laid out the day before.
"Anything new?" Natalia asked.
"Other than the hot new lab tech Molly? Nope."
Natalia turned stoutly on her heel to face him. "You think she's pretty?" Ryan looked at her, trying to read her hazel eyes as they swam with unforeseen anger. Ryan was smart, but this sudden change in behavior was beyond his domain of scientific knowledge- the best diagnosis he could give was that she was either sick… or it was just that time of month.
"Yeah, I guess. She seems interested too, which is a new one for me."
Natalia winced at the blow. "I'm sure there are others that are interested," she offered, and thought 'one of them is right here. Ryan missed the hint, and just took it as politeness or friendliness. "So, what are you going to do with her? Look at her through a microscope?"
"Natalia, where's all of this sudden hostility coming from?" Ryan demanded.
"DON'T PLAY DUMB, RYAN!" she screamed. The faint squeak of the locker room door interrupted her rant. There stood Molly, dressed up fancily, with her clutch purse in hand, ready for her date. She looked awkwardly between the two, as Ryan and Natalia were standing, a heartbeat away from each other, breathing in each other's anger.
"I can come back later," Molly suggested, but it was not met with an immediate answer. Ryan turned to her and his eyes softened. "Molly," he began, but was at a loss for words.
"Don't bother. I was just leaving," Natalia whispered quietly, grabbing her purse, locking her locker, and turning on her heel to walk out. Before she was out of earshot, a strangled and wretched sob escaped her lips.
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together
But so broken up inside
Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Natalia looked down at the DNA sample. The computer was running names, and Natalia clicked her pen with frustration. Calleigh sauntered into the lab, her coat trailing behind her, and leaned over Natalia's shoulder. "Is that the DNA sample from the Serena Carey case?" Natalia nodded, without looking up, and wiped her face clean of the small droplets that trailed their way down her cheeks.
"Honey, are you okay?" Calleigh asked.
Natalia's resolve crumbled and she screamed a pained cry into the still air of the lab. Calleigh held her tight against her as Natalia poured her tears to stain Calleigh's shirt. "I can't DO it anymore, Calleigh! I can't let him be the one that got away!" Calleigh, surprised and unsure of herself, lifted the heaving sob of a woman off of her chest and held her face in her pale white hands.
"I love you, honey, and you know that, but you had your chance. If its Molly's ball game, you can't be the jealous ex. You have to be the better woman." Calleigh's soothing words only broke Natalia down more.
"I had my chance and I blew it," she sobbed again into her hands. "I spent the whole night thinking about ERIC of all people!" Natalia looked at Calleigh's slightly pained expression, and apologized immediately. "Not that he isn't an amazing man, Calleigh, it's just…"
"You think I want you fawning over my man?" Calleigh laughed, and Natalia grinned through her tears.
She looked down at the DNA sample and then up at Calleigh. "I blew it, right?"
Calleigh looked at her, flashing a brilliant smile. "Lab techs don't last long."
Natalia gave a fake smile, and Calleigh bought it. "I'll be okay," Natalia lied.
"You will," Calleigh agreed, and kissed her softly on the forehead. "You will."
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up
Deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Ryan looked out through the window of the trace lab, watching Natalia break into heaving sobs every five minutes. Calleigh was there, rubbing her back and offering words of encouragement. Molly stood beside him, sifting through the rubble from the crime scene, but then turned her face to her boyfriend. "Ryan, what's wrong with Natalia?"
Ryan looked at her. You, he thought to himself. "I don't know."
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry on the outside ANYMORE
"Are you okay?" Ryan asked as Natalia sifted through her affairs in the locker room. "You seem out of sorts. I think the kidnapping was a little too much for you. Is there anything I can do?"
"What, like drive me home and tell me you'd never hurt me?"
Ryan looked at her, pain in his brown eyes. "I love you, 'Talia…"
"You know, at least treat me with some goddamn respect!" She screamed. "I'M NOT GOING TO JUST STAND HERE AND TAKE THIS FROM YOU!" She calmed down, and placed her purse on the bench. "You know what my husband did to me, right Ryan?"
Ryan nodded and gulped, knowing where she was going with this.
"Since then I've never trusted men when they said they'd never hurt me. You said you'd never hurt me, and stupidly, like an idiot, I believed you with all of my freaking heart. And you turn around and tear it to shreds. Go have fun with Molly," she snapped and slammed the locker door.
"Is this why you've been crying?" Ryan asked concernedly, placing his hand on her cheek.
"I'm not going to cry for you, Ryan. Not anymore." She walked out defiantly.
Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up
Deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes