Dexter Morgan is not a nice man.
Cody and I took a little while to figure that fact out. Two days, nearly. It was hard because he's really good at pretending to be nice; we figured it out because we were suspicious of him anyways. I mean, not that he did anything suspicious; he was way too careful for that. But we're suspicious of everyone who comes near us. Us and our mom.
Mom told us she wanted us to meet him, see if we liked him. We knew it was a test for him. We were pretty sure he'd fail. We don't like anyone, not really. If we didn't like him, mom would get rid of him; we knew that. She said it, and she's the one who never lies. But she also said he was nice, in a sort of surprised voice, like she didn't believe it herself. So we were ready for anything.
He was big. Bigger than daddy. He brought necco wafers and he knelt down to greet us when he came to the door. We knew mom had told him about the necco wafers, but it was nice that he remembered. Then we all got into his car and he drove us out for pizza. The car smelled clean and good, which was nice. Daddy's car always smelled like cigarette smoke and beer and puke. This was better. Dexter and mom talked all the way to the restaurant, and mom laughed, which we hadn't heard her do for anyone but us; but this was a different laugh. It made us even more suspicious, knowing that laughing meant she might like him. But he was… nice.
He held mom's chair and my chair for us so we could sit, and he used a funny voice, and he said "please" and "thank you" and made sure we all got what we wanted on our pizza. Nobody had ever been so nice. He didn't really smile right at the waitress, even though she was twirling her hair and blushing at him; but that's ok. We didn't like her anyways. He made mom laugh again. We stared. Mom hadn't laughed so much in forever. Not that we could remember.
Cody ate too much pizza too fast. I didn't stop him; I gave him the extra slice when mom wasn't looking. Then he got up and puked on Dexter's knee. He can do that, if he eats too fast. Mom cried out, said his name, picked him up and took him to the bathroom to clean him up while Dexter tried to get the puke off his knee with the towel the waitress brought. She hovered over him touching his leg, until he stood up and said he was fine and asked for more water and another pizza to go. It was a good way to get rid of her. Then Cody and mom came back, and we took our pizza and left.
He brought us home and bowed to us at the door, and kissed mom on the cheek, and she blushed. And then he was gone and she sat us down and asked us about him. We looked at each other, thinking.
He hadn't hit anyone. He hadn't glared, or threatened, or gotten mad when Cody puked on him. He'd been polite, and funny, and he brought us neck wafers.
We told her we guessed he was ok. She smiled that anxious smile, like she'd really hoped for another answer but wasn't willing to push; then she got us ready for bed.
The second time we met him he came over for supper at our house. Dexter brought more necco wafers. Cody didn't puke on him this time. We watched him all through dinner. We sat down after and he let us pick the movie; we picked a cartoon, and he smiled and nodded and draped his arm around mom. She twitched, and he looked surprised, then took his arm away; but then she sat close to him, and he just looked confused. Everything was fine all night, until he got ready to leave because it was our bedtime.
He was standing at the door and someone sped down the street, tires squealing, loud thumping music playing on the stereo. He turned his head and his face went blank, like nothing was going on inside his head. Then he turned back to mom and said they shouldn't do that in a neighborhood with kids. Mom was still looking after the car so she didn't see his face, but we did.
He wasn't angry. He wasn't upset. He was thinking something so hard that he forgot to have an expression. He asked mom in a really polite voice if she wanted him to call some friends to set up a speed trap on the road. Mom looked at him, shook her head. We didn't understand why she didn't notice his face was all weird and empty. But she just said she didn't think they were from our neighborhood and he smiled again, at mom, and it was over.
We didn't really talk about it, we just looked at each other to make sure we'd both seen it. Mom hadn't seen it but we had. So we kept an eye on him. He was good about making sure we know where he was taking mom. He always remembered the candy. He never forgot our names. And he smiled at us. But sometimes he'd look at someone else, and his face would just freeze, and we knew he was thinking something we didn't know anything about.
They were never nice people that he looked at like that. They always had something creepy about them that we could spot the same way we spotted the thing in him. And that's what made it ok, in the end. Because we thought about it, and we decided that it was ok that he wasn't really nice inside to everyone. He didn't have to be. He was there to protect us like he was supposed to, and when he smiled at us he meant it. He didn't have to mean it when he smiled at anyone except us and mom. He didn't have to make anyone else happy.
Dexter Morgan is not a nice man. But that's ok, because he's our not-nice man, Cody's and mine and mom's. He makes mom happy, and he's always there and he's never angry or loud.
We don't care about anything else.