Hey, this is my first Fanfic ever, so i would like it if you could review and give my some constructive criticism
Disclaimer: I own Nothing, not even Caspian and Susan, which is really unfair, But of course, C.S Lewis has to beat me to it!
"Well, I had a great time, Susan," Said James, "Come to the next party with me please?"
" I'm Sorry, James, but I can't… I'm moving again" Said Susan apologetically. James' face clouded with anger. " We all know that's not the real reason! What's the reason Susan, am I just another boy toy, huh?" He jeered, slamming her against the wall, his bare hand holding her up by the throat. Her face had a shocked expression and she screamed, but she quickly regained her composure, then, with amazing strength, she prized his hand off her neck and within a few seconds had him in a choke hold. He elbowed back at her and it escalated into a fully-fledged fight, with Susan on the upper hand the whole time due to her warrior training in Narnia. 'Narnia' thought Susan, not realising that many neighbours had gathered round and that James had drawn out a knife. She struck him across the face, using her other hand to grab at the knife, but not before it had been plunged deep into her chest. She stared at James shocked, before she collapsed, watching his face crumple, tears now flowing freely down it, neighbours darting out of the crowd, two men pinning James down, Women crouching around her, one screaming for help, then the world before her started to spin and she felt… the ocean?
Caspian's POV
We were sailing past the lone islands, Eustace still complaining (if it wasn't for the fact he was with the royals, Reepicheep and I would've have killed him!), when yet another figure dropped out of mid-air and into the ocean, barely 20 metres in front of the ship. I called for someone to lower the ladder before plunging into the water to rescue the unmoving figure.
As I got closer, I saw it was a young woman, with the water around her filled with blood, I could tell she was injured. Her hair, a dark mahogany, was plastered across her face, running all the way down to her hips, so I couldn't see her face, but I could see the hilt of a knife protruding from her chest. Wasting no time, I slung her over my shoulder and headed toward the ship, which was 10 metres away, then I had to carry her up the rope ladder, which was easy considering how light she was.
" Queen Lucy," I called, 'She's injured, she will need some of your cordial!" gently laying the woman down onto the deck, I heard Lucy gasp. " Oh, gosh, she has a knife in her chest." She exclaimed, shocked. " We'll have to pull it out. I'll do it." Said Edmund, pulling the blade out of the unconscious, dying woman's chest. I turned around to receive a blanket and a goblet of spiced wine from Sir Reepicheep, member of the Most Noble Order of Knights of Narnia, when I heard Lucy emit an ear-splitting shriek and Edmund choke out "Susan!"
He whipped around and saw Lucy fumbling to open her cordial, looking extremely pale, Edmund shaking and near tears, then he turned to the woman, whose hair had been swept off her face. He gasped. He was looking at flawless perfection, the face that had haunted him for the past 3 years.
Lucy was crying now, so the bottle was not getting opened soon in her hands. He snatched the bottle off her, unscrewed the cork with shaking hands and poured a drop down her throat. The wound resealed and her breathing started to even out, though she did not regain consciousness. He scooped her up and carried her to his cabin, laying her ever so gently down on his bed. He himself plopped into the chair next to the bed and thought of what Aslan had said after she left.
*Flashback*
"Why did she have to leave? Why can't she come back!" Sobbed a hysterical Caspian to Aslan. "Dear One, You will see Susan again, but when she returns, she will be here until you die, then she will join you in my country. She will be immortal until your death, and she will not age."
*End Of Flashback*
She's here for good! Thought Caspian, then checked himself when...