Disclaimer: I am not Cassandra Clare, as I am sure you all know. Therefore, I don't own the Mortal Instruments (sigh)
Lyrics in Italics are my own. Lyrics in Bold Italics belong to their respective artists.
Enjoy!
My heart only beats for you
and it longs for your touch
and I…
I slammed the lid of the piano down with a jangle of keys, knowing that Clary was hovering outside the door, well within earshot, and I didn't want her to hear me playing the piano this time. I also knew that she wasn't going to come in, and she certainly wasn't going to talk to me.
My girlfriend had been acting strange all week, quiet and reserved, with odd moments of restlessness. She avoided me at every turn, and refused to stay the night at the institute, preferring to move back in with her mother and Luke.
Isabelle had been giving me funny looks and the occasional glare ever since Clary's weird behaviour began, so I know she knew what in the Angel's name was going on, but she wasn't telling. In fact, no one told me anything- except for the fact that Clary had officially moved out.
I was waiting patiently for Clary to leave and go find Isabelle, but I was secretly getting more and more frustrated with her persistent presence on the other side of the door, not moving an inch. She seemed to be debating whether or not to come in, but I doubted she was going to.
All I wanted, no, all I needed was to finish my song before tonight.
I hated what I was doing to Jace, I really did, but there was no way that I was ready to tell him what was going on- why I had decided to move back in with my mother. And the problem was, I knew if I was around him, the truth would eventually come out. So I resolved to keep it a secret, and avoid Jace, but that didn't stop Isabelle.
Alec kept giving me creepy looks like he knew something I didn't- like there was some big secret I was missing- and I didn't like it one bit.
Whatever was going on, it had me worried- even more worried than I had been when I moved out.
Even when I interacted with Jace, he seemed… off- like something was bothering him. I decided that it was because I moved out, and he was probably thinking that I'd stopped loving him and had decided to go out with Simon or something ridiculous like that.
Because that was just Jace, through and through- always believing in the most stupid things possible. Like when I met up with Simon to go out for dinner- suddenly I'm cheating on him and breaking his heart and disrespecting him. And that was just half of his rant.
However, after such arguments is always the night- the whole of it. Because once he calmed down and saw my side of the story, Jace turned from Shadowhunter ultimate to the best boyfriend in the world.
Sometimes I wondered if Jace would ever commit to us fully, and take the next step. But every time I got my hopes up, he would pull away again and close himself off to me, except for those intimate moments. Sometimes, he just drove me crazy- to the point where I wanted to tear my hair out and scream.
But I loved him so much it hurt to ignore him, and that was half the reason why I was standing outside the music room door, trying to luck up the courage to go in and talk to him. But you couldn't manufacture courage from complete and utter terror.
Finally, I gave up and ran, ran until my lungs felt as if they were going to burst.
I ended up sitting in the very coffee shop where Jace had first approached me after Pandemonium. There was music playing softly in the background- a song that reminded me of everything I didn't want to be reminded of at that moment in time.
I believe in nothing
Not the end and not the start
I believe in nothing
Not the earth and not the stars
I believe in nothing
Not the day and not the dark
I believe in nothing
But the beating of our hearts
I believe in nothing
One hundred suns until we part
I believe in nothing
Not in sin and not in God
I believe in nothing
Not in peace and not in war
I believe in nothing
But the truth and who we are
I didn't want to be reminded of who Jace and I were- I didn't want to be reminded of what I was trying to put behind me. I just wanted to move forward, to go on the way we had- but I couldn't. I couldn't ever go back to the way things were, and I resented that fact so much that if it had a physical manifestation I would plunge a Seraph blade into it.
Here we were at the start, when our hearts should be trying to beat out of our chest, but darkness had fallen, and with it had come the rain, which couldn't wash away all the hurt and all our pain. We had fallen far away from the perfect world we were supposed to live in, and had instead landed in a very warped version of personal hell. While everyone around us led the (almost) perfect life, we were barely able to push up towards the air from the depths of the fathomless ocean, which had washed over us and drowned everything we believed in, in only a matter of seconds. Even the lighthouse that used to broadcast a beacon for us to follow to get back to the rocky shore safely had been destroyed.
And here we were, full circle. We having the worst time of our lives because our relationship was officially in the rubbish, after having the best time of our lives- mainly because the Clave had given us unofficial leave from duty due to our respective contributions to the war effort- my rune and when I stopped Valentine, and Jace, for killing Jonathon and his bravery- and of course the whole part where he died and came back to life, of course.
We had made perfect use of this leave, but now I just wished that we'd never had it.
This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war
Did you ever believe?
Were you ever a dreamer?
Ever imagine heart open and free?
Did you ever deny?
Were you ever a traitor?
Ever in love with your bloodless disease?
This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war
Ever want to be free?
Do you even remember?
Want to be god and devil like me?
Ever want to just stop?
Do you want to surrender?
Or fight for victory?
Here we are at the start, I can feel the beating of our hearts
Here we are at the start...
Darkness falls, here comes the rain to wash away the past and the names
Darkness falls, here comes the rain to end it all, the blood and the game
Far, far away in a land that time can't change
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold
Far, far away in a land that time can't change
Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold
This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war (Far, far away...)
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war (Long, long ago...)
This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war (Far, far away...)
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war
This is a call to arms, way of the night
This is a battle song, way of the night
I lay back on my bed, listening to the song, thinking about the masterpiece (because I'm just that brilliant) I'd composed for Clary. After she heard it, there was no way she could possibly avoid me, no way that she could not listen to what I had to say.
Because my heart was at war with hers- metaphorically of course, but we were at war all the same. I wanted her- needed her, but she kept pulling away. So I had to break down her walls and capture her soul in my hands, to hold her strong and never let her go.
Because that was the truth of love- a tangible quality about it. It was the war of two souls that ended in an armistice, and then the union of two separate bodies to make a brand new whole. It was the thing that had caused many wars to be waged, and it was the battle song of many campaigns that were successful, and unsuccessful. It was something worth dying for, and something worth living for. Love was everything.
There was a knock on my door.
"Come in!" I called, and the aging piece of wood gently swung open, revealing the only person who could make my heart start and stop in the same moment, her red hair wild and her eyes wary. I leapt to my feet and wrapped my arms tight around her, a reflex reaction my body had produced on impulse.
"Jace- please let me go. I need to talk to you. It's…important." She sounded so…broken, worried and completely lost that I guided her over to my bed and made her sit down.
"Well, I need to talk to you to. But I kinda want to show you something first." She nodded, and I led her down to the music room, and sat her down next to me on the piano stool. She leant her head on my shoulder, and although it made it hard to play, I enjoyed the sensation of having some part of her body pressed against me.
I started playing.
My heart only beats for you
and it longs for your touch
and I wish that we could be forever
and never part
I know that you are scared of my world
but that doesn't matter
because love will keep us strong
and never let us go
Shouldn't we get a shot at forever
why shouldn't I be able to take you as my wife
because ,my heart belongs to you so completely
and if I didn't have you
I'd have nothing at all…
The final key ran gout softly, and I could feel the dampness on my shoulder from where she'd cried. I took her back into my arms, holding her tight against me.
"I love you with every fibre of my being Clary, and I know that I will only ever love you, even if we get forever. Will you marry me, please?" I asked her, and she nodded into my chest.
"Yes, god yes Jace. I love you too much to say no." she whispered, before tilting her head up so that I could kiss her.
Once said passionate kiss was over, I pulled away and asked her what she wanted to talk to me about. She bit her lip and sucked in a deep breath.
"I've been trying to pluck up the courage to talk to you all week, and well, failing miserably. But, now we're engaged, I'm just going to have to deal." I looked at her deeply in the eyes, secretly revelling in the 'we're engaged' part. "I'm pregnant."
Not sure if this is going to stay as a one shot or not.
Anyway, hi, I'm Vikki, one part of MortalEnemies1234. I update quickly in holidays, slow in school time. Sorry about that. I like reviews, but I'm not obsessed with them.
If you liked this story, check out my others- they're all on our profile! But please read All the Moons Under the Sun before reading She Lives In You or Shadowhunters and Alcohol.
Bow Wow!
Vikki;)~