"Don't ever laugh as a Hearse goes by
for you may be the next to die"
She didnt know what to do, sitting in her car for over an hour. Just thinking. What the fuck did not scars mean? He heart feels heavy as she knows that she will never find the answer she is looking for, because she's dead.
D-E-A-D. Four little letters. Exactly the same length as her daughters name. Emma. But to her, these two words symbolise so much more now, they are the polar opposites of one another.
She drives off, heading to the familiar route. Not stopping this time to get Emma a snack. She knows Johnny will have stuffed her up. She sits outside the house, unsure what she is going to do. Technically it's Johnny's night with her, but she doesn't want to be alone.
Sasha texted her, saying she could stay with him. She doesn't want sasha. She wants her baby. She wants to snuggle up with her, surely Jac can't be denied that right. She sees that Elliott and Mo have both texted her, clearly Ollie had texted them what happened. Or maybe Sasha.
She rings the doorbell, and a shocked Johnny comes to the door, throwing her a look.
"Jac it's Tuesday." He says as she ignores what he is saying.
"Please Johnny, I have to see her," He nods, as she moves to the kitchen, seeing her daughter colouring. Johnny doesnt follow her, he goes to his phone, trying to think who to call. He's never seen Jac this unhinged, before deciding it's best not to involve the whole of Holby City, she won't thank him for that.
As Jac approaches her daughter, she can hear her daughter singing to herself.
" and the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
the worms play pinochle on your snout"Jac goes to sit next to her, trying to hold back the sob that threatens to erupt from her.
"They eat your eyes,
they eat your noes
they eat the jelly between your toes"
She joins in, Emma looks up coming to sit on her Mamas lap, the nursery rhyme being forgotten. A lean figure enters into the kitchen, trying to sneakily look at what Jac is doing. He watches her sit her daughter on the sofa.
She strokes Emma's chocolate hair from her face, kissing her head gently, mumbling a love you.
"Emma, auntie Jasmine has died," This catches both their attention. "You know what died means don't you?" She says, as the sob finally leaves her. Johnny rushes over to them, shocked.
"What's it means Emma, is that she's not coming back anymore, she's not coming back anymore." She looks confused.
"Was it because she didn't like me?" Johnny shakes his head.
"She adored you Emma. She won't see anyone ever again." He says, as Jacs sobs have subsided temporarily. "But Emma, she loved you." Johnny says, telling Emma to get ready for bed. She runs to her bedroom, Johnny just hugs Jac. "Did you want anything?" She shakes her head.
"Just my daughter." He nods, as Emma runs down. It's not dark yet, but Johnny grabs Emma and takes her into his garden, Jac follows in suit.
"When it's dark, there are stars in the sky." He says, shifting Emma in his arms. "You can't see it now, because it's not dark, but that's what Auntie Jasmine is now." He says, reaching out his hand to Jac, and pulling the three of them into a hug. They stand outside in the cool air for ten minutes, before they jointly put Emma into bed, both of them going into the kitchen. Johnny isn't going to kick Jac out. She can stay as long as she needs.
"She had a scalpel in her pocket" She tells him "and apparently she fell." Jac twiddles with her hair. "Someone had taken my phone, and told her to meet her there." She sobs into Johnny. "If it wasn't for me she would still be alive."He contests this, trying to calm her down. It wasn't Jacs fault "I never even told her I loved her " She says.
"She knew Jac." He tells her, he had met Jasmine a number of times, she had come to play with Emma at his house a few times, "She really did Jac. When she came here, we talked about it." This wasn't technically a lie, they had. She had come here last week and they had talked about it.
"The last thing I said to her, before she was stabbed was thay I didn't care." Johnny shakes his head. This isn't going to do Jac any good.
"Jac she did. No one was to know." She lays her head in his lap.
"If I had spent time with her, when I found out about her." He shakes his head.
"It wouldn't matter. Nothing is going to bring her back, this is just going to hurt you more." He says, the two of them staying their in silence. Both of them have tears in their eyes. Jac is the first to fall asleep, Johnny doesnt want to disturb her, so he just sits there, willing himself to go to sleep. He thinks of the day he has just had, Emma was singing a ridiculous nursery rhyme but it was now stuck in his head.
"Did you ever think
as a Hearse goes by
that you might be the next to die
and your eyes fall out
and your teeth decay
and that is the end of a perfect... day"